The farmer and his family were fast asleep, totally unconscious of the mischief which was plotted against them. The surly watch-dog gave now and then a growl; but I ascertained he was chained, so little attention was paid to him. Our first attack was on the hen-house. Chickens, young turkeys, geese, &c.—every thing was swept away, and a few bones and feathers alone remained to show the slaughter which had taken place. The pigeonhouse was next visited, then the dairy; and the cheese, milk, and cream, in a moment disappeared. Every thing which could not be eaten was destroy ed. Here some of our fellows, however, seemed to forget themselves, and were so overcome by the quantities they had consumed, that we were forced to leave them to their fate, which I have no doubt was not a pleasant one, as they of course fell into the hands of the infuriated enemy. An attack upon the sleeping rooms of the cottage was now meditated; but I was most happy that it was voted first to destroy the wheat, as I fear some of the younger children must have fallen victims to the ungovernable rage of our troops. Ample justice was, however, done to the wheat, and every thing else we could find. We suddenly caine upon two cats, but they fled in dismay at the sight of our numbers. A retreat was at last sounded-day began to dawn, and we marched at a slow pace back to our castle. Above 1000 never re turned, and most probably fell victims to their excesses,

Two days were necessary to recruit our stomachs, and then another expe

dition was arranged to attack one of the human species, (a kind of twolegged monster,) whose profession, I am told, was to make war upon us, and who had been the chief assistant of the farmer we had just visited. I do detest a tall, lean, lank, pale-faced ill-looking man about fifty, who is dressed in dirty old buckskin breeches, an old washed-out jane frock-cut coat, and a mole-skin waistcoat, (or, monster of cruelty! one sometimes even made of the skins of our countrymen,) especially if he has a kind of spear walking stick, and be followed by three or four little mongrel curs. He is sure to be a R-t-Catcher, as you, my reader, would call him. Many a friend have I seen demolished by his cantrips

many lose a leg, and many die in agony in their own houses, from the vile food he prepared for us. But any thing is better than to be taken pri soner by one of these vile vermin, for they will think nothing of skinning you alive, or of burning you to death over a candle. And, Mr HumanReader, (if this ever reaches the eyes of one,) besides ridding you of us (which they really don't try to do,) they will ease you of plenty more; for I never saw one of those gentry who was not also by profession a thief! This expedition, however, I could not join, as I was anxious not to disap point the party with whom I had agreed to go to Holland. I therefore made the best of my way back to Leith, which I accomplished without difficulty, as a friend procured me a seat in a hay cart.

WE set sail in a few days with a fair wind down the Frith, and soon left the Bass and the May behind us. I must confess, I was a little afraid, when, for the first time, I was out of sight of land. It is a dismal thought to have nothing but sea and sky around, and only a frail plank between us and the fathomless depths of ocean. This was my first voyage; but many a day and month and year have I spent on the water since that time. I have tried all vessels, but certainly prefer the merchantmen. As for their sloops

or brigs of war, I shall not try them in a hurry again. It is a shame for the Admiralty to risk people's lives in them. I believe I was the only living thing that remained to tell the fate of the last I was in. The eating (a point of some little consideration) in the merchantmen is always good. On board them, we have likewise fewer human enemies; and the men-of-war's men are rather troublesome. They are too knowing for us, and never think of giving any quarter.

I was a little squeamish or so for

the first day, but nothing like some of our passengers. The great secret I have always found, is to eat plenty, and drink a little brandy; that is much better than all your quack receipts.

We had a dog on board, but he was a lazy mangy fellow, and gave us little trouble. The wind continued favourable, and on the sixth evening, the lights of Goëree and Helvoetsluis were visible. Some of the passengers left us at the latter town; but I merely went ashore and took a rapid look of the streets, and of the guard-ship, which was in the Dock in the centre of the town, and returned to the smack by the Captain's boat. I saw rather a curious scene on board the man-ofwar. Some of her men had been engaged in a row the previous night, and were sentenced to be flogged. After being stripped, they seemed to dip each man in the water before commencing the more disagreeable part of the operation. If I had not been in such a hurry, I should certainly have made bold to have carried a biscuit to a poor little midshipman, who was condemned to remain twelve hours at the mast-head for some nonsense or other, and who looked most miserably cold.

Mynheer is certainly a strange fatbottomed animal after all. His pipe never seems to be out of his mouth, nor his hands out of his pockets. The pilots who came on board, with their very little hats, their immense wide short breeches, and large wooden shoes, surprised me not a little. The Dutch get the credit of being very cleanly, but I cannot say much as to that, in their persons at least. The Bad Huis, or Bath Hotel, which is on the Boom Keys, the best street in Rotterdam, was recommended to me as the only one a gentleman could go to, and there accordingly I and four of the passengers took up our quarters. They all immediately ordered hot baths; but I contented myself with a cold one, which I found very agreeable, after being cooped up as we had been. They had the bill of fare brought to them. I went to the pantry myself and chose what I thought best. By the by, it was curious enough that I did not find a single gentleman of my

species in the whole house; I however, found plenty traces of them, and therefore conjectured they had gone on some expedition. At the house of the consul, Mr Ferrier, (who was a Scotsman,) I found many friends, to whom I had introductions, and I can assure my reader I was most liberally and hospitably entertained.

Upon the whole, there did not appear much to be seen in the town. The inhabitants seemed more an eating and drinking sort of people than any thing else. Their ferries through the town are a very great nuisance, as one cannot always have a doit about them; and a surly brown Dutch rascal at one time had the impudence to stop me till I had to borrow from a friend. The statue of Erasmus is a shabby concern.

We made several excursions into the neighbouring country, sometimes on foot, but we generally went in their track boats, or "Trekschuiten," as they choose to call them-" Roef," in which we always found tolerably clean and comfortable; and we visited various of the LUST-HUISES, or country villas of the Burghers, where excellent tables are always kept, I warrant. Among other places, I paid a visit to the village of Broek, where there is such an affectation of cleanli ness, that I remember seeing a poor little boy sent to the Rasping-Huis for a month, for merely in a corner attempting 2. P.!!! We stayed two days with an old rich Mynheer, who had a large dairy at Gouda; but his cheese was very salt to my taste, and it certainly made me drink far too much of his Schiedam gin, which was quite to my fancy.

A party were intending, I found, to make a trip along the Rhine; so I thought I could not do better than join it.

We went by the Hague, Häarlem, and Amsterdam. With the last, I was much disappointed. They say it contains 200,000 human inhabitants, but it has not even a tolerable hotel. The famous Häarlem tulip gardens, I of course visited, particularly those of Van Eeden. I wonder what the fools could see in tulips, who gave 10,000 guilders for one root. The organ is certainly very fine; but it nearly cracked the drum of my ears.

It was a few miles from Häarlem that I was surprised with the sight of Mynheer Woodenblok passing me on foot at the rate of eighteen miles an hour. A few days before, I had left him at Rotterdam a happy comfortable-looking fellow. He was now pale and care-worn, and evidently much confused. But I had just a glimpse of him, for he passed me like a shot. Every body knows the story of poor Mynheer Woodenblok. Some years before he was thrown from the diligence, and had his leg so shattered, that amputation was necessary. He had, however, perfectly recovered his health, and was universally esteemed one of the richest and happiest men of Rotterdam. In an evil hour, he was attracted by an advertisement of M. Tournevoult, a most ingenious mechanic, who had just, he thought, brought to perfection his admirable invention of artificial legs. Poor Woodenblok was easily persuaded to order one. Only two days before, it had been fitted on for the first time. After walking about, he called at the shop to suggest a slight alteration. Tourne voult appeared merely to have tighten ed a screw nail; but the effect was instantaneous-Woodenblok rushed down stairs-the streets were cleared before him-he loudly called for assistance, but nobody could come up with him. At last in his agony, he laid hold of the railing of Mynheer Schelderman's house. It stopped him for a moment, and then yielding to his grasp, he dragged it along with him. Tournevoult's house was on the bank of the Schic Canal, which, it will be recollected, is straight in the direction of Häarlem. Woodenblok having completely lost all command of his leg, was entirely at its mercy. Neither canal, nor wall, nor tree, nor house rendered him the slightest assistance, for nothing could oppose his headlong course. Poor fellow, I never saw him again. Towards the end of the following day, I believe, exhausted nature gave up the struggle. But his limb, vigorous as ever, still insisted on performing its office, and continued to stalk along with its ghastly burden. I am told his withering bones may yet be met with in the wilds of Germany; and indeed they must continue their rapid march till the end of time, as their speed is so completely beyond the reach of mortals! VOL. XXIV,

When at Amsterdam, I was nearly carried off to Archangel, which would, at the time, have been rather a bore indeed. After a grand let-off, given by a rich burgo-master, to which my friends got me a special invitation, I incautiously exceeded in the curaçoa, of which I did not at all then know the strength. The vessel put to sea, and I had enough to do to secure my retreat in the pilot boat. From Amsterdam we proceeded in a curious large diligence to Utrecht, and from that to Cologne. We had twelve (human) passengers inside, who smoked the whole time without intermission. I, as well as all my species, are most partial to perfumes, and I did not therefore fail to visit the representative of Signior Jean Marie Farina in his shop, No. 4568, à la rue haute à Cologne. Nothing struck me particularly in this town of Cologne. The streets are very narrow, and seemed dull enough. To be sure, the principal one, which is said to be a German league in length, is rather fine. The old convent of the Ladies of St Ursula, is curious at least. They shew you in it the bones of 11,000 virgins, who they say were murdered by the Huns at the time of their invasion, when they destroyed the town. I might easily have had a taste of them; but I had no fancy for such antiquated old maids. In the Cathedral, or Dom, as they call it, you see the tomb of the three famous Kings of Cologne, and the gold and silver chests which contain the bones of the Holy Engelberth. I don't think, in the whole town, there is any thing else worth the trouble of looking at. The Hotel "Le Prince Charles," I found tolerably comfortable: There is a good French cook, but he is a saucy fellow.

It was in the trenches of Cologne, that I first saw prisoners working out of doors in chains. They looked poor miserable creatures. All of them were dressed in dirty yellow, and were chained in couples, the most desperate having likewise chains to their feet.

Finding a detachment just setting out to join the Grand Allied Army, I thought, as a true Briton, I could do no less than accompany it, and prevailed upon all our party to do the same.

Every body knows, that the French nation, seized with the same wild desire, which maddened their human 4 H

countrymen, had for long been endeavouring to humble and crush the whole nations of the Continent. The spirit of freedom had now, however, begun to arise, and the French, in their turn, found themselves attacked on all sides. The detachment with which I marched, consisted of 80,000. As we had little baggage, having crossed the Rhine, we proceeded rapidly through a dull uninteresting country. On the morning following the 5th night, we had scarcely begun to enjoy a refreshing slumber, when there was a call to arms. Our light troops, who were in advance, had come unexpectedly upon the enemies' sentries, and immediately fell back upon the main body. From a prisoner or two they had taken, we learnt that we were close upon the grand French army, amounting, by the lowest accounts, to 300,000,000 fighting R-ts! The Allies lay three miles off; but not a moment was to be lost; and we luckily effected a junction, almost before our arrival had been well known in the French camp. The Allied Army did not exceed 200,000,000, of whom not above 180,000 were British. Both armies had long been suffering the extremity of famine. The Commissary General of each army, and the whole commissariat, had already been devour ed, after pleading in vain, how unexpectedly the supplies had been cut off by irresistible human force.

I must attempt a short description of that memorable battle, which, as is well known, decided the fate of Europe.

The signal was no sooner given than the Allies, without waiting the attack of the French, rushed in upon their ranks with desperate rapidity, as if wholly regardless of safety. The French considered this first step of the Allies to be the result of madness, and were more inclined to despise them as maniacs than oppose them as soldiers. However, they were quickly undeceived. It had never before been the custom of the Allies to run on with this headlong valour, but pinching hunger added fury to their courage, and comparing the number of their own forces with that of the enemy, and expecting victory only from desperate valour, they determined to break through the enemies' ranks, or fall in the attempt. The French, however, stood their

ground with great intrepidity, and the battle was long, and loud, and fierce. The conflict raged with doubtful issue for many hours. Quarter was neither given nor taken, and the field was everywhere dyed with blood. About three in the morning, the French made a desperate effort by bringing up the best and bravest of their whole army. The French general led this furious attack in person. Undismayed by the dreadful slaughter around them, they struggled on with fearful shouts, over ground, now slippery with blood, now almost impassable with accumulated heaps of dead. Our light troops, who were acting as skirmishers, gave way before them. They were now within ten yards of us-We were no longer to be restrained.-The word, to charge, was given. At that moment, the rising sun broke through the clouds, and darted a ray of glory on the advancing army. The onset was irresistible; and indeed the enemy, exhausted and dispirited by their previous exertions, now scarcely even attempted resistance. The first line was soon thrown back, and mingled with the second in hopeless confusion. On every side the French fled in the utmost dismayIn vain their commander endeavoured to restore the day; it was too late. All attempts at regularity were abandoned, and their corps of every description were mingled and blended together in one tide of flight, which no one any longer either attempted to guide or restrain.

Such was this memorable battle, which annihilated the hopes of France, and put an end to that convulsive struggle, which so long shook Europe

nay, even the earth itself, to its centre. Since the deluge, never was there such a slaughter. The field was literally soaked with blood, and in many places masses of seventy or eighty dead bodies were to be found heaped above each other, just as they had fallen in the struggle of death. The slaughter at Attila's battle of Chalons was only estimated at 460,000, but that number was nothing in comparison of those who fell on this bloody field. The loss of the French alone exceeded 156,000,000. That of the Allies was little more than half that number!!

As I do not intend to attempt any history of the war, of which so many