said, however, to take his whine constantly; and, perhaps, he sometimes indulged himself too freely in that luxury, whenever he secured me for a companion. His account of human nature, and of its tendencies, was somewhat deplorable; and yet he had candour enough to acknowledge that he himself was as hopeless of moral amendment as the rest of mankind. He would give nothing—even to himself. He did not hold with Dryden, that

Thyself may freely on thyself bestow,

but was rather inclined to say with Hamlet, "I myself am but indifferent honest." The world to him was as a pack of cards-consisting of kings, queens, aces, deuces, and the like; all of mere artificial value and importance. For his own part, he confessed to being one of the knaves.

"Young man," he was wont to say to me, "above all things acquire a perfect knowledge of the world. Till you have attained entire skill in this science, adopt these two rules, and you are pretty safe. Never accustom yourself to say Yes,-practise an emphatic

self in a situation to look down upon the world with all the contempt and bitterness of his predecessor-from the attic window of a workhouse.

But, in order that we may see the question on both sides distinctly, I purpose to introduce the reader to a very different character. Green and I had been old schoolfellows, and my respect and affection for the boy induced me to make many inquiries latterly after the man-a custom which I have not often observed towards other individuals of equal claims (on the secular score) with himself. I found that my early acquaintance had succeeded to an ample estate, and I was much mortified at learning that his ample estate was in a fair way of seceding from him. He had, it seems, adopted a newfangled philosophy, something akin to the "greatest happiness principle;" by a perversion of which he had taught himself to believe that it was an incumbent duty upon him to facilitate the happiness of others; instead of (which is the true interpretation of the doctrine) rendering them pliant machines for

one's own welfare and advancement. In charitable obedience to this principle, his blankets were jerked from his bed-his wine

was caused to ascend from the cellar-his

and decisive enunciation of the far more dignified and important monosyllable, 'No.' This latter word, timely spoken, will carry you through all the more perplexing difficulties of life; the former will inevitably entangle fruit was plucked from the trees in his orchard you in the most disastrous misery. I com-his vegetables were uprooted from his garpliment Yes' too highly, however, when I den-above all, his money was drawn out of call it a word-it is not so-it is a sibilation, his pocket-for the benefit of the poor. He with which the tongue has nothing whatever made hay while the sun shone-he got in his to do it is the hiss of a goose-and only abundant harvests-he transferred his Exchegeese of the most authentic breed ever think quer bills-for the poor. He had a vast of uttering it. Believe me, it is of the utmost woollen wardrobe devoted to the poor-he importance (the advice is not of recent date) kept open house for the poor-his cattle were

that you should No the world."

This counsel, I must confess, has influenced me not slightly in my intercourse with mankind; and I have hitherto been quite unable to gainsay many other ill-natured strictures which some of our modern misanthropes make it their pleasing study to give utterance

unto.

It is but fair, however, to inform the reader, that my instructor, Skinflint, appeared never to have derived much happiness from the working of his philosophy; and that when he gave up the ghost-the only thing he ever did give―he furnished-the only piece of furniture he ever contributed-a derogatory and highly-coloured paragraph in the daily newspaper. It may not be amiss also to state that the heir to his property, (it is not a difficult matter to "catch your heir" upon these occasions), soon melted down his consolidated three per cents.; and very shortly found him

knocked on the head to make soup for the poor. He was a subscriber to every charitable institution in the county, and projected others. In addition to these claims, it is no wonder that there were other exactions. There were taking men, who imposed upon him at pleasure; for he did not prosecute. He considered himself a trustee for others; no wonder, therefore, if they sometimes took their affairs into their own hands. He was the most good-natured man in the world. He would have lent his fingers to a pickpocket upon any, the slightest, reason shown for such proceeding;-he would have divested himself of the coat on his back to lend to a travelling stranger who had already two box-coats; he would have suffered his head to be shaved, were he satisfied that the produce would be acceptable in the manufacture of a lady's pincushion;--and I firmly believe he would afterwards have worn a Welsh wig to encou

rage the worsted manufacture. He would have melted himself down into material for candles, if any modern Diogenes would have undertaken to find an honest man; and would have exchanged places with Truth in a well, could he have induced her to fix her habitation upon the earth.

Now the fact is, Mr. Brown of that neighbourhood had married Miss Green, the sister of our good-natured friend-it is not surprising, therefore, that a kind of yellow jealousy was engendered between them. Green was a bachelor-indeed he was far too good natured a man to think of taking a wife before other people were served; he knew his place; others must take precedence, of course. The brother-in-law and his partner, accordingly, felt themselves entitled to take a reversionary interest in Green's effects. They, good people, had no distinct idea of charity-they knew only that it began at home, and, looking towards that quarter, they discerned three daughters whom their brother's property would render altogether marriageable articles. In a word, they talked on the matter seriously with him; and as Green did not half so well like talking as doing, he made over a chief portion of his property to his three niecesreserved to himself (I marvel at his prudence) a small portion-about three hundred a-year -and came up to London, where he took lodgings in Howland Street, Fitzroy Square. I openly avow that I never entertained a strong attachment for the people at whose house he found it convenient to reside. Mrs. Larkin, the landlady, wore a face like a wizened pippin, over which a wig, provided with orange-tawney curls, dangled with an appearance of extremely rueful desolation. The two Misses Larkin, her daughters, rejoiced in a pair of peaked noses, with a tendency to ruddy bloom at the tips; and wore their own sevenpenny-moist-sugar coloured hair. They were always rubbing their clammy paws together with a freezing earnestness, and they welcomed you to the house (for they were always stalking about the passage) with a kind of snappish obsequiousness that awakened suspicion. In addition to these monsters, I sometimes observed a wretch of aspect malign, whom I afterwards discovered to be Mr. Larkin," a gentleman in the excise."

I had occasion to notice whenever Green was from home, that these persons invited me into the parlour, and descanted upon the merits of their lodger with a vehemence truly frightful. I knew what all this must come to. "Such a kind cretur!" cried one. "Good soul!" said another.

"An amiable and excellent man," remarked the mother.

Oh! my poor friend!-how long did I foresee the sacrifices you must inevitably have made.

As I looked more nearly and narrowly into the proceedings of these harpies, I found that the goodnatured man was in the habit of not only settling the amount of his own lodgings, but also of paying their rent. I discovered, after much cross-examination, that Larkin was "unfortunately so given to drink," that Green's money was unfortunately given to Larkin that his coats ornamented the back of Larkin—that his shoes were made receptacles for the feet of Larkin. I wormed out the mystery, also, of the Misses Larkin's superior gowns, silk stockings, and bracelets; and made myself acquainted with the origin of Mrs. Larkin's imposing headgear. In minor matters, I took the best means of ascertaining, that had Green possessed the sugar-loaf mountain, the Larkins would first have reduced it to a hillock, and then would, sans remorse, have carried it clean off; and that were the East India Company's stock of teas transferred to him, they would barely have left him the contents of a threeounce canister.

"The horseleech hath two daughters, crying-give, give”—but the two daughters of the Larkins cried, "take, take," and the elderly Larkins followed their example.

This appeared perfectly reasonable and proper to the good natured man. He only said, in answer to my remonstrances "It's all right-let them alone. Poor creatures! they want these things more than I do."

I left him in disgust for several months.

On my return from the country, I called in Howland Street, determined to renew my acquaintance with my old friend.

"Is Mr. Green within?" I inquired. Th passage was instantly filled with Larkins.] "Within!" cried the landlady-" Oh! Sir, poor Mr. Green is dead."

I was shocked, and could not speak for some minutes.

"Dead?" I repeated mournfully.

"Yes," cried one of the daughters, flippantly," Mr. Green has been dead-let me see-yes, two months."

"And what has he done with his pro

THE Drawing-room is over, and I have seen the King!

I'm very sure my head is turned, and won't come right this Spring:
I positively can't take off my feathers and my train;

I never looked so well before, and never may again.

I heard a lady to a lord complaining of the crowd,

And say,
"What common people come!-I wonder they're allowed!"
Of course that wasn't meant for me, though father did sell cheese;
Since brother made a noble match, I'll go there when I please.

And I was ornamental too, nobody looked so fine,

I did not see one gown or train that looked the least like mine;
I'm sure I had more colours on, than anybody there,
Green, red, and yellow mingled, and blue feathers in my hair.

Then some one came and took my train, and spread it out behind,
Just as a peacock spreads his tail; I thought it very kind:
And seeing 'twas a nice young man, dressed out in gold and blue,
I said, "I thank you kindly, Sir-I'd do as much for you."

They led me to his Majesty-I thought I would have dropped,
He held his hand out friendly like, and kissed me when I stopped;
And there the King and I were standing, face to face together,
I said, "How is your Majesty?-it's mighty pleasant weather."

And then the people pushed me on! I didn't half like that—
I'm sure the King had half a mind to bid me stop and chat;
But looking on, I saw the Queen! I'm sure I hope and trust
She didn't see the King kiss me! and yet I think she must.

I curtseyed to her Majesty, the proper thing to do,

And seeing ladies standing round, I curtseyed to them too;

I honour maids of honour so, I wished to be polite,

And the Queen and all the ladies smiled, which proved that I was right.

I knew (though ne'er at Court before!) well what I was about

Of course I did not turn my back, but tried to sidle out;

But walking so, I tripped and fell-(they make them trains so big!)
And, catching at the first thing near, pull'd off a lady's wig!

And then I fainted dead away!—a dreadful thing to do—
Until I found myself at home, no earthly thing I knew!
I've graced a Court! indeed I'll add, by way of being witty,
'Twas n a court that father dwelt-a back court in the city!

172

LITERATURE OF THE MONTH.

Sketches of a Seaport Town, by Henry Yes, he was well suited to his audience, which