CHAP. IX.

Reflections-Unsettled state of mind, and conversation with my Wife thereon-Purchase a Farm in the County of Bedford-Lose my Wife-I determine to revisit my Island, and for that purpose settle all my affairs in England-Description of the Cargo I carried out with me-Save the Crew of a Vessel burnt at sea.

THAT homely proverb used on so many occasions in England, viz. "That what is bred in the bone will not go out of the flesh," was never more verified than in the story of my LIFE. Any one would think, that after thirty-five years affliction, and a variety of unhappy circumstances, which few men, if any, ever went through before, and after near seven years of peace and enjoyment in the fulness of all things; grown old, and when, if ever, it might be allowed me to have had experience of every state of middle life, and to know which was most adapted to make a man completely happy; I say, after all this, any one would have thought that the native

propensity to rambling, which I gave an account of in my first setting out into the world to have been so predominant in my thoughts, should be worn out, the volatile part be fully evacuated, or at least condeused, and I might at sixty-one years of age have been a little inclined to stay at home, and have done venturing life and fortune any more.

Nay farther, the common motive of foreign adventures was taken away in me; for I had no fortune to make, I had nothing to seek if I had gained ten thousand pounds, I had been no richer ; for I had already sufficient for me, and for those I had to leave it to, and that I had was visibly increasing; for having no great family, I could not spend the income of what I had, unless I would set up for an expensive way of living, such as a great family, servants, equipage, gaiety, and the like, which were things I had no notion of, or inclination to; so that I had nothing indeed to do, but to sit still, and fully enjoy what I had got, and see it increase daily upon my hands.

Yet all these things had no effect upon me, or at least not enough to resist the strong inclination I had to go abroad again, which hung about me like a chronical distemper; particularly the desire of seeing my new plantation in the island, and the colony I left there, run in my head continually. I dreamed of it all night, and my imagination run

upon it all day; it was uppermost in all my thoughts, and my fancy worked so steadily and strongly upon it, that I talked of it in my sleep; in short, nothing could remove it out of my mind; it even broke so violently into all my discourses, that it made my conversation tiresome; for I could talk of nothing else, all my discourse run into it, even to impertinence, and I saw it myself.

I have often heard persons of good judgment say, that all the stir people make in the world about ghosts and apparitions, is owing to the strength of imagination, and the powerful operation of fancy in their minds; that there is no such thing as a spirit appearing, or a ghost walking, and the like; that people's poring affectionately upon the past conversation of their deceased friends so realizes it to them, that they are capable of fancying, upon some extraordinary circumstances, that they see them, talk to thein, and are answered by them, when, in truth, there is nothing but shadow and vapour in the thing; and they really know nothing of the matter.

For my part, I know not to this hour whether there are any such things as real apparitions, spectres, or walking of people after they are dead, or whether there is any thing in the stories they tell us of that kind, more than the product of vapours, sick minds, and wandering fancies. But this I

know, that my imagination worked up to such a height, and brought me into such excess of vapours, or what else I may call it, that I actually supposed myself oftentimes upon the spot, at my old castle behind the trees, saw my old Spaniard, Friday's father, and the reprobate sailors whom I left upon the island; nay, I fancied I talked with them, and looked at them so steadily, though I was broad awake, as at persons just before me; and this I did till I often frightened myself with the images my fancy represented to me: one time in my sleep I had the villainy of the three pirate sailors so lively related to me, by the first Spaniard and Friday's father, that it was surprising; they told me how they barbarously attempted to murder all the Spaniards, and that they set fire to the provisions they had laid up, on purpose to distress and starve them; things that I had never heard of, and that were yet all of them true in fact; but it was so warm in my imagination, and so realized to me, that to the hour I saw them, I could not be persuaded but that it was or would be true; also how I resented it when the Spaniard complained to me, and how I brought them to justice, tried them before me, and ordered them all three to be hanged. What there was really in this, shall be seen in its place; for however I came to form such things in my dream, and what secret converse of spirits in

jected it, yet there was, I say, very much of it true. I own, that this dream had nothing literally and specifically true; but the general part was so true, the base and villainous behaviour of these three hardened rogues was such, aud had been so much worse than all I can describe, that the dream had too much similitude of the fact; and as I would afterwards have punished them severely, so if I had hanged them all, I had been much in the right, and should have been justifiable both by the laws of God and man.

But to return to my story.-In this kind of temper I had lived some years, I had no enjoyment of my life, no pleasant hours, no agreeable diversion but what had something or other of this in it; so that my wife, who saw my mind so wholly bent upon it, told me very seriously one night, that she believed there was some secret powerful impulse of Providence upon me, which had determined me to go thither again; and that she found nothing hindered my going, but my being engaged to a wife and children. She told me, that it was true she could not think of parting with me; but as she was assured, that if she was dead it would be the first thing I would do; so, as it seemed to her that the thing was determined above, she would not be the only obstruction; for if I thought fit, and resolved to go Here she found me very intent upon her