and I hope still to serve you during at least twenty years." This disguised flattery pleased the king, and he granted him his request.

XVI.

MALHERBE.

The poet Malherbe was dining one day with the Archbishop of Rouen. He had scarcely left the table when he fell asleep. The prelate who was to preach awakes him, and invites him to come and hear the sermon. "Excuse me, I beg of you," answers Malherbe; "I shall sleep well without that.”

XVII.

THE SUN-DIAL.

A man told his servant to go and look at the time on the sun-dial. "But, sir, it is dark," replied the servant. "What does it matter? take a candle,” replied the master.

XVIII.

THE FRIAR AND THE TRAVELLER.

A friar was crossing a ferry with his mule, which appeared to tremble at the sight of the water. "My reverend father," said a traveller

to him, who was also crossing, and who wished to amuse himself, "your poor beast trembles very much." "Sir," said the friar, "when you see yourself like it, a halter round your neck, irons at your feet, and a friar at your side, you will not tremble less."

XIX.

COOLNESS.

Mr. Rabusson, brother-in-law of Mr. Horace Vernet, was sub-lieutenant in a regiment of the line. The Emperor, whilst reviewing his troops, let his hat fall, which Mr. R. hastened to pick up. "Thanks, captain," said the Emperor, without noticing the rank of him whom he was addressing. "In what regiment, Sire?" "Ah! that is right; in my guards," replied Napoleon, smiling at his own mistake, and at the coolness of his interlocutor.

XX.

THE GASCON OFFICER.

A Gascon officer being with the army, leaves one of his comrades, and says to him pretty loudly, and in an important tone of voice, "I am going to dine with Villars." The Marshal, who was behind this officer, says to him with

kindness: "On account of my rank, and not on account of my merit, say Monsieur de Villars." "Cadédis!" replies the Gascon, without being put about, "one does not say Mr. Cæsar."

XXI.

LACONISM.

A Persian general wrote to Lysander, chief of the Lacedemonians, "If I enter into Greece, I shall put all to fire and sword." Lysander simply replied to him, “If?”

When Cæsar celebrated his victory over Pharnācea, they noticed, among other decorations of the triumphal pomp, a board, on which were written these words only: "I came, I saw, I conquered."

XXII.

LYCURGUS.

Lycurgus, who had inspired the Spartans with the taste of laconism, was himself very concise and sententious in his language.

He was asked: "How can we repulse the incursion of the enemy? ?"

"By remaining poor, and if no one wish to be greater than another."

Being consulted about the walls of Sparta, he replied: "A wall of brave men is better than a brick wall."

XXIII.

LESSON IN GRAMMAR.

Two young chatterboxes asked Mr. de Fontenelle if it was better to say, "Give us to drink," than "Bring us to drink." The Academician replied to them that both ways were improper in their mouths, and that they ought to say, "Lead us to drink."

XXIV.

CATINAT.

At the unfortunate battle of Chiari, Catinat, wounded as he was, sought to rally the troops. An officer said to him, "Where do you wish us to go? Death is before us." "And shame behind," replied Catinat.

XXV.

AN IRISH ANSWER.

Some one asked an Irishman why he wore his stockings wrong side out-"It is,” replied he, "because there are holes on the other side."

XXVI.

A BAD PAYER.

A bad payer signed an obligation payable at his pleasure. Summoned before the judge, he

asserted that his pleasure had not yet come. "Well," said the judge, "let him be put in prison till it comes." It arrived immediately.

XXVII.

INDEPENDENCE.

Aristippe, seeing Diogenes washing his vegetables himself, said to him, "If thou knewest how to make thy court to the king, thou wouldst not wash vegetables." "And thou," replied Diogenes, "if thou hadst known how to live on vegetables, wouldst not have made thy court to the king Dionysius."

XXVIII.

THE SIGN-POST.

A sign-post was placed, by order of the inspector of roads, some years ago, in the county of Kent, with this inscription: "This path leads to Feversham; if you cannot read this writing, you will do better to follow the highroad."

XXIX.

BALAAM'S ASS.

A professor of theology, speaking of Balaam's ass, said that "it was very wrong to doubt but