CIII.

THE PRIEST AND THE COMMERCIAL TRAVELLER.

A priest and a commercial traveller were in a public conveyance. The commercial traveller, wishing to amuse himself at the expense of the priest, addressed to him the following question: "What difference is there between an ass and a bishop?"

The priest, surprised, looks at the impertinent fellow, and replies to him, after a few moments' silence, that he does not know.

"It is," resumes the would-be witty querist, "that an ass carries its cross on its back, and that the bishop carries it on his breast."

"And you, sir," said the priest in his turn, "do you know what difference there is between an ass and a commercial traveller?" "No." "Well! nor I either."

CIV.

THE EFFECT OF ELOQUENCE.

An advocate who was pleading the cause of a young boy, caused him to be brought before the audience. In the peroration of his speech, which was touching enough, he perceived that all the assembly was moved; and to put the finishing-touch to the effect which he desired to produce, he took the child into his arms,

who began to wail and cry. All the audience, very much touched, became interested in the fate of this victim. But the opposing counsel took it into his head to ask the child why he was crying so much, "He is pinching me," replied the little boy.

CV.

LABLACHE.

Lablache, the great singer, was very stout. One year he had an engagement at the Italian Opera in London, at the same time as they were exhibiting, to the English, General Tom Thumb; and these two celebrities were living in the same hotel.

An English lady, who had not been able to see General Tom Thumb, being obliged to leave London suddenly, did not wish to set out without seeing the celebrated dwarf. She hastens to his hotel, and, mistaking the door, knocks on Lablache's. The latter opens to her himself; the lady draws back two steps

"I was coming to see General Tom Thumb," she said.

""Tis I, madam," said Lablache.

"Oh, then I have been deceived: I had been

told, sir, that you were quite a small man.” but at home

"At the theatre, yes, ma'am

I put myself at my ease.”

CVI.

MA D.

Dr. Gall having gone to visit the madhouse at Bicêtre, put to a madman who conducted him the following question:-"Why have you been put here, my friend? for it seems to me that you are anything but a madman; and I do not find, either, the bump of madness on your cranium."

The madman replied: "Doctor, do not be astonished at not finding the signs of madness on this head with which you see me, for I must tell you that this is a head which they put on me instead of the one which I lost during the Revolution."

CVII.

ARTISTIC CRITICISM.

David, the celebrated French painter, had exhibited one of his finest pictures, and found himself by chance among the crowd which admired it.

He notices a man whose dress betokens a cabman, and whose attitude indicates disdain.

"I see that you do not like this picture," said the painter to him.

"Faith, no," replied that man.

"It is, however, one of those before which every one stops."

"What does that prove? See that fool of a painter who has made a horse whose mouth is covered with foam, and which nevertheless has no bit!"

David was silent, but as soon as the gallery was closed he effaced the foam.

CVIII.

THE COUNT D'ALETS.

The Count d'Alets, passing through Lyons, was conducted to the house of the king's lieutenant, who, not knowing him, received him with haughtiness, and said to him :

"My friend, you come from Paris; what do they say there?"

"Masses," answered the count.

"I understand; but what is the common noise (rumour)?"

"That of carts and hackney-coaches."

"But I ask you what there is new?"

"Green peas."

The lieutenant, surprised that any one should

answer to him in that manner, said: "My friend, what are you called?"

"Fools at Lyons call me my friend, and at Paris they call me the Count d'Alets."

CIX.

JUGGLER.

The professor of leger-de-main, Hamilton, had offered to the honourable company to make a louis out of a franc.

On hearing these words, a spectator hastened to furnish the franc asked for; and, indeed, the trick is done.

"Let us see," says the spectator, delighted.. "Yes, it is really a louis . . a real one!'

Thereupon he hastens to put the gold-piece

in his purse.

"Well!" asks Mr. Hamilton, astonished, "what Return to me that piece of

are you doing?

money; the trick is not finished."

Thank you.

"Give you back my louis!
louis! ... Thank

I keep it; I don't wish to give you the trouble of changing it again into a franc."

CX.

MADMAN AND THIEF.

It was reported to two men, who held good posts under the government, that Mr. P. ...