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Pierre Pontac, premier président. (Peter Pontac, first president.)

"Well, my friend," said this magistrate to him, "what do you think these four letters mean?"

"My lord," our villager answered him, "it is not difficult, at the end of three hours, to know the interpretation of them; they signify : "Pauvre Plaideur, prends patience.' "Poor pleader, take patience."

L.

USELESSNESS OF VACCINATION.

A very credulous man said that he had no confidence in vaccination. "What is the use of it?" added he. "I knew a child, beautiful as the day, whose mother had caused to be vaccinated. Well! it died two days afterwards." "How! two days after?" "Yes;

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you, my dear sir," Garrick said to him. "Ah! we have, however, played many times together." "I have no remembrance of it. What part did you act then?" "It was I who acted the cock in Hamlet."

LII.

REPLY OF A FRENCH OFFICER.

One day when a French officer arrived at the court of Vienna, the Empress, knowing that he had seen on the preceding evening the Princess of ——, asked him if he thought that the princess was, as it was said, the most beautiful person in the world. "Madam," replied the officer, "I thought so yesterday.”

LIII.

PLAY ON WORDS.

At the beginning of the revolution, Rivoral being in company with Mr. de Crequi and some other noblemen, affected to repeat: "We have lost our rights, lost our fortune," &c. Mr. de Crequi said in a low voice, "We, Riverol replied, "Well! what do you find, then, extraordinary in that word?" Then Mr. de Crequi said to him, "It is that plural which I find singular."

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LIV.

THE DOUBLE SURPRISE.

A very fast nobleman came one day to find Mr. de Laborde, banker of the court, and said to him, "You are going to be greatly astonished that, not having the honour of knowing you, I come to ask you to lend me 100 louis."

"Sir, you are going to be yet much more astonished that, having the honour of knowing you, I lend them to you."

LV.

THE HONEST BORROWER.

Mr. F...... a dramatic author, dead some years ago, had borrowed a hundred francs from his friend D...... The latter, one day, saw Mr. F...... drawing twenty francs from his pocket. "My dear friend," said he to him, "I lent you twenty francs; were you to return them to me?" "No, no," said Mr. F......., "it is a hundred francs which you have lent me." "No, it is twenty francs." "A hundred francs, I tell you." "Well! give me back twenty francs; I release you." "Not at all, not at all, I prefer to owe you a hundred francs."

LVI.

THE JESTER'S BOOK.

A jester had a book in which he wrote all the mistakes which the most important persons of his time made. "Am I not in your book?" said the King of Naples one day to him. "We must see," said he: and read there: "Mistake committed by Alphonso, King of Naples, in having sent into Germany a German who was at his court with twelve thousands gold florins, to buy some horses for him." "But," said the king to him, "if this man returns with the horses, or if he brings me back my money, what will you say?" Then," replied the jester, "I shall strike you out of my book, and I shall put the German in your place."

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LVII.

AN INTRUSIVE GUEST.

A very clever man, but rather indiscreet, paid a visit of some months to Voltaire, at Ferney.

Voltaire said on this occasion, "The difference which there is between such a one and Don Quixote is, that Don Quixote took all inns for castles, and that the former takes all countryseats for inns."

LVIII.

THE QUESTION AND THE REPLY.

A sorry joker one day put the following question to a lady in society, the solution of which, as we shall see, was tolerably impertinent. "What difference is there between a woman and a looking-glass?" The lady sought for some time, and ended by confessing that she could not find the answer. "It is," replied the aggressor, "that a woman speaks without reflecting, and a looking-glass reflects without speaking." "In my turn," said the lady immediately: "Could you tell me, sir, what difference there is between a mirror and yourself?" "Madam, I cannot guess." "Well! it is that a mirror is polished, and that you are not."

LIX.

POET AND PASTRYCOOK.

A pastrycook, whose pastry a poet had highly praised in a small poem, thought it his duty to acknowledge this politeness by making him a present of a pie; but the poet, having remarked that the sheet of paper which covered the bottom of this pie formed part of his production, reproached his protégé for it. "What have you to reproach me for?" said the latter to

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