tive pizenous." He brewed "Egg-nog, on me, and when this puir body is laid on a Brandy-smashes," "Punches," and "Cock-bed o' sickness, that ye'll na' let come near tails" by the hundred. By-the-by, as there me ony o' ye'er Canadian licentiates. is a little joke attached to the "Cock-tails," I'll relate it. On being asked to give a prescription to prepare a Gin-Cock-tail," he wrote as follows: "R. Simpl. Syrup.. Sto-ton Bitter.. Genev.. Water... Zss. To be followed by 7 grs. jalap and one of cal. every eighth hour-donec alvus bene soluta sit. DOCTOR.-Judge not all by the specimen I have shown you. On the contrary, many of the students passed highly brilliant examinations; examinations, I can assure you, Laird, which would have reflected honor on any Royal College of Surgeons or Physicians in the world. MAJOR.-Bravo, Doctor! then we have good schools in Canada. DOCTOR.-Good? Why not. Is talent located in any one spot of this world? Has London, because it is the largest of cities, more talented men than any other city? No! The only reason that there are more men of talent PRESIDENT.-Misce per swizzle-stick!-By swizzle-stick!-Please Mr. Bramble to trans-(not more talented) in London than elsewhere, late swizzle stick! [This was too much; the learned Examiner, Dr. Stowell, and Professors Rex and Hayrick burst into a loud guffaw, joined in by the whole room, not even excepting the worthy Secretary, who appeared in a grave face got up expressly for the occasion: even the student, who was perspiring as if he had taken a dozen "Dovers," relaxed his face into a grin. The matter was explained to the President by a diagram drawn on paper, and illustrated by a split quill thrust into the inkstand and whirled rapidly about, scattering the inky fluid in all directions. The President said, energetically, "Hang me, I must get one!" is simply because it is so populous. LAIRD-Ye'er hot Doctor and rambling. But tell me noo' d'ye think the method o' examining by ye'er board is richt. DOCTOR.-Hardly proper. It is wrong to admit students. What do most of these know? Besides their presence is embarrassing, render ing one, if nervous, doubly so. Again, the vira roce method, though easier for the generality of students, is not so for all. I know many who, if thus examined, lose all command of words, cannot express themselves, but stammer, and stutter, giving an idea of deplorable ignorance to the looker on; whereas if pens and paper were placed before them with written or printed The examination being concluded, the pub- questions, the some men would pass the ordeal lic were ordered to withdraw. The scene, with flying colors. I shall suggest to some of however, was far too important to that public the members of the Board the propriety of to be lost even at the end, so looking at the allowing the student to choose his own style of door of communication between a neighbour-examination. Exceptions cannot then,possibly, ing ward and THE room, I made my way thither determined to hear, if I could not see the finale. On the President calling to order, the Secretary asked the first Examiner if he had made up his mind as to the fitness of the Candidate. Dr. LABERMAHN.-Perfectly fit. fied? PROF. REX.-Mr. President,-I protest, sir, against this Board granting a licence to Mr. Bramble; you have witnessed, sir, the gross ignorance displayed by the examined; and I'll be hanged if he gets his licence through my vote. Sufficient voters were found however, to grant the licence; and Mr. Seth Obed. Bramble was turned into a live licentiate. But I believe Mr. Bramble's passing was due more to the knowledge of the stomach he displayed than to any idea he had of medicine. Of the latter he was in my estimation profoundly ignorant. MAJOR.-Well, Doctor, you have given us But what is the Laird thinking about? He looks glum. a scene. LAIRD. I pray the guid God may ha' mercy VOL. II.-II be taken against the examiners, for,in the one case, the written questions and answers speak for themselves; in the other, the Faculty, who ought to be present, can hear and judge of the questions put and the answers given.* MAJOR. A capital idea! and one that should be carried out. I incline, however, to the paper style as the best, for when a man's words are down in black and white, there's no gainsaying them: they are, if wrong, self condemnatory, if right, greatly to his praise. I would, in addition to the written questions, demand a viva voce examination on his answers. would test his knowledge most thoroughly, and a thesis, doctor, I'd have a thesis. It LAIRD.-Hoot Major! ye'er as cracked as the Doctor himsel' on these points. I'll e'en • Would it not be better, with the view of preventing rusty examiners and others from coming into the exami nation room, crammed on one particular branch, to show that they had not altogether forgotten all they had learned at school, and predisposed to pack a student peradventure better up than themselves on all other subjects, to adopt the on a dozen or more scrolls of paper, such subjects as following plan:-That is to say-the President to write may, to his own mind, appear most essential for quali tication to practise the various branches of medicine.these scrolls to be drawn by hallot, by the examiners called upon by the President.-P. D. mak' a resolution that nae mair shop is to be brocht here. I'm tired o' ve'er medical stuff, and shall tremble at the sight o' a pheesician for the next month, besides it's no interesting generally, it's too local. DOCTOR.-Local, what do you mean, Laird, is that examination of no more than local im portance, which is to send life or death throughout the length and breadth of the Province. Do you consider it of no importance, whether a quack,—some ignorant pretender, perhaps, or a competent person, who has really studied, attend you, when laid on a bed of suffering In short, do you make no difference between ignorance and skill? LAIRD.-Eh, man, haud yer gab. I want na mair o' your clavers. What hae ye been reading in the bulk line, Major? MAJOR.-Villette, by Currer Bell, author of Jane Eyre and Shirley. DOCTOR-I was not so well pleased with Villette as either of her former works, yet it is an exceedingly clever book, and notwithstanding all its faults, well worth a careful perusal. LAIRD.-Villette is ane o' ye'er strong minded wonien I suppose. MAJOR.-Wrong Laird, Villette is the name of a town in France, where Lucy Snowe, after setting out on a Quixotic expedition, is employed as English governess in Madame Beck's establishShe is a strong minded character and battles through life manfully. ment. DOCTOR.-Currer Bell has certainly delineated a new phase in woman; to her alone is due the credit (?) of picturing the tender, delicate, refined, sensitive female with the mind, power and energy of man. I will not say that these traits of charac ter are incompatible, but they strike the reader as odd, especially as she represents one of her male personages, M. Paul, as a man though highly energetic, yet endowed with a nervous fear or modesty which renders him incapable of declaring to the woman he loves, his passion. This may be true, lite-like, in certain instances, but they are exceptions to the general rule. LAIRD.-Were Mrs. Currer Bell to visit our republican neighbors she wad oe hailed wi cheers frae the "Woman's Rights Convention," and elected Presidentess forthwith. MAJOR. --And right worthily would she fill the chair, if one may judge from her works. By the way, Doctor, what thought you of Paulina Hone. DOCTOR.-What! The little girl who, before she could speak plain-just able to todd e— had at that early age the gait of a young lady of twenty and the ideas of a matron! Why, she was a curiosity, a lusus naturæ. MAJOR.-I confess I liked her, she was a good Hittle creature, as innocent and guileless as an angel, fully equal in conception, in my opinion, if not superior to Fenella, or little Eva in Uncle Tom. DOCTOR.-Little Eva is a fairer creation to contrast her with than Fenella, who was certainly not a loveable child, but even Eva, who by the way is borrowed from Mrs. Sherwood's tale of "Henry and his bearer," and is but Henry with a frock on-is not a natural child. I really think that the time is lost which is spent in producing these ideal characters. I do not wonder, how. ever, at your being struck with Paulina, as it is easy to see that you read novels for amusement; but I like to critically examine the characters weigh all their merits and passions, endeavoring trait likely to be found in the living model, and consistent with the character they are intended to represent. In fact, I dissect them. to trace in all their actions and conversations some MAJOR-And so you think Polly Hone an unnatural character? DOCTOR.-Truly, I do. Were I to meet such a one I would regard her as a physiological phe nomenon, worthy of the attention of the faculty. However, when grown up she becomes more natural and I like her better, though she occasionally appears rather matronly,-for instance, overhearing Graham speaking of her as a child, she replies with dignity, "I am a person of seventeen:!" I think Dr. John and Ginevra Fanshawe the best pictures, they are both admirably drawn, their destinies clearly fore-shadowed in their characters. MAJOR-I suppose I must agree with you; however, I also have a small fault to find, and that is, the introduction of the supernatural. No matter how plausibly the appearances may be accounted for, still it is nothing more than claptrap. I have no objections to a good ghost story or fairy tale, yet in a modern novel it is both uncalled and unlooked for. When LAIRD Ghaists, mon, read the scene. a lad, I thocht the Mysteries o' Udolpho" a maist interesting buik. MAJOR-MISS Snowe has received a letter from Grahame, and retires after nightfall to the garret, in order to read it. (Reads.) "Dr. John had written to me at length; he had written to me with pleasure; he had written in benignant mood, dwelling with sunuy satisfaction on scenes that had passed before his eyes and mine-on places we had visited together-on conversations we had held on all the subjectmatter-in short, of the last few halcyon weeks. ......This present moment had no pain, no blot, no want; full, pure, perfect-it deeply blessed me. A passing seraph seemed to have rested beside me, leaned towards my heart. and reposed on its throb a softening, cooling, healing, hallowing wing. "Are there wicked things, not human, which envy human bliss? Are there evil influences haunting the air, and poisoning it for man? What was near me? "Something in that vast, solitary garret sounded strangely. Most surely and certainly I heard, as it seemed, a stealthy foot on that floor, a sort of gliding out from the direction of the black recess haunted by the malefactor Gioaks. I turned; my light was dim; them was long; but, as I live, I saw in the middle of that ghostly chamber figure all black or white; the skirts strait, narrow, black; the head bandaged, veiled, white. "Say what you will, reader; tell me I was nervous or mad; affirm that I was unsettled by the excitement of that letter: declare that 1 dreamed; this I vow-I saw there-in that room on that night—an image like—a sus! "I cried not; I sickened. Had the shape approached me I might have swooned. It receded; I made for the door. How I descended all the stairs I know not. By instinct I shunned the refectory, and shaped my course to madame's sitting-room. I burst in." After informing Madame Beck and some male friends who were with her, that "there was something in the graniere," she suddenly recollects she has left the letter. Hastening back, accompanied by Madame and friends, she finds the garret dark and the letter gone. LAIRD-I'll read the buik. I say, Major, did ye hear that I brought in to our freend, Maclear, a wheen magnum bonum marrow-fat peas for seed, and he made me put this bit buik in my pouch by way of acknowledgement. Hae ony o' ye read it? It is entitled, "The Dean's Daughter; or the Days we live in," and is written by Mrs. Gore. I have often heard tell o' the leddy, but never perused ony o' her productions. Her name aye makes me grew, reminding me of a toss I once got frae a demented bull at Melrose fair! MAJOR.-You will find the bibliopole's gift worth the trouble of cutting up. I use the expression in reference to the pages thereof, and not to its contents. Though containing little that savours of genius, the Dean's Daughter exhibits a good deal of cleverness, and abounds with correct sketches of English fashionable life. DOCTOR. When you have read one of mother Gore's stories you have a pretty correct inkling of the whole of her literary family. Madam is a member of the haut ton by birth and connection, but being a trifle out at the elbows is constrained to engender novels for the purpose of meeting the demands of her grocer and silk mercer. Hence the truthfulness of her portraitures of the aristocracy; and hence, likewise, the wipes which ever and anon she compliments them with. Evidently she is riled that she should be obliged to depend upon her brains for the sustentation of her stomach, and vents her chagrin upon her more highly favoured compeers. LAIRD. That's just the way o' corrupt human nature! Tramp upon a cat's tail in a crowd, and the spit-fire will fasten its talons upon the leg o' the victim next her, even though it chance to be her best freend! Mrs. Gore, ifdevoid of genius, possesses something which is a tolerably good imitation thereof. What is it that constitutes the leading charm of Defoe and Hogarth? Simply the faculty which they possess o' bringing ordinary things-things that are forgathered with every hour of the day on this world's high way, plainly before the minds of the million! If the root of the matter were as shallow as yo would have it to be, we wal hae mair Robinson Crusoes, and Rakes' Progresses to the fore, but I trow that Diogenes would get many a weary tramp with his booit ere he would light upon the marrows of these immortal productions! Na, na neighbours-the authoress of The Dean's daughter, even by your ain showing, canna be the sina' beer ye would fain represent her. That glorious auld anti-tee-total heathen, Horace,-with whose writings I am familiar through puir Kit Smart's translation-observed "it's a fashious thing to describe trifling matters correctly,"-and it was a true remark of daft Jock o' Kilwinning that "common sense was na' such a common thing, as common folk supposed ! DOCTOR.Our agricultural chum is getting profound in his declining years! I suspect Laird you have been taking a dram of metaphysics before your sowan's this morning! Why we shall find you gazettea, some of these tine forenoons to the moral philosophy and Belles Lettres chair of the Streetsville University! LAIRD-Hoot awa' with your University chairs! Such berths are far too uncertain, noo-a-days, for ony man to accept who can earn his bit and sup by chapping stanes, or selling spunks! MAJOR-I commend to your attention a very modest and graceful little brochure, recently issued by the Harpers, called, "The Bourbon Prince." It is a simple, unadorned narrative of the sufferings and death of the Royal Dauphin, who de jure though not de facto, was Louis XVII of France. LAIRD.-I thought that this puir lad had escaped the fangs of his infernal tormentors, and had cast up the other day as a sober Yankee Mess John. MAJOR. That story turns out to be all fudge, and fiddlesticks! Mr. Williams has about the same pretensions to be called a whale as a dolphin! DOCTOR. From the very first the tale had an intensely fishy odour, and a pestilent twang of woody nutmegs! You said that Harpers' nar DOCTOR.-Mrs. Gore furnishes a practical de-ration was well drawn up? monstration of the fact, that little more than a habit of observation, and something to observe are requisite in order to produce a readable second-rate fiction. I defy you to find in the volume under notice a single passage which will stand quoting-it lacks wit, fancy, and invention, and yet you are enticed to read on till you cast anchor at finis without having dislocated your jaws by yawning. MAJOR.-Old Sam Johnson once observed that if the most ordinary cadet of Adam's family recorded the daily occurrences of his uneventful life, the book would be readable, simply because it could not fail to contain many things harmonizing with the experience of the reader. This is the secret of Mrs. Gore's success-the sole secret II may say. LAIRD.-Being but a plain farmer bodie, I am blate to contradict College-learned pundits, but it strikes me that ye have said enough to show that MAJOR-I have read nothing for many a long day which has so deeply "stirred my heart." The compiler by avoiding every attempt at fine writing and embellishment, and confining himself religiously to a plain detail of facts, has produced a picture which the most kiln-dried Stoic could notcontemplate with dry eyes. Bearded man, though I be, I am not ashamed to confess that the story of that gentle child's miseries caused me to moisten a brace of cambric handkerchiefs, as Mrs. Grundy and the laundress of the Shanty can both make affidavit to, if necessary. DOCTOR. Enough said! These same handker chiefs are worth a page of criticism ! LAIRD. If ye have a minute or twa to spare, would fain read to you a queer Irish story, written by a dominie in our Township. He is a native of Cork, and 1 tak' a special interest in him, because, on a stipend of sixty-five pounds per annum, he is bringing up a family of seventeen |