thinking any harm, may lie down with a shepherd on a mossy-bank; and all this while poor Sylvia may be so far lost in the pleasing thoughts of her new romantic attire, and Damon's soft endearing language, as never once to reflect who she is, till the romance is completed. Besides, do but consider, dear Nestor, when a young lady's spirits are fermented with sparkling champaign, her heart opened and dilated by the attractive gaiety of every thing about her, her soul melted away by the soft airs of music, and the gentle powers of motion; in a word, the whole woman dissolved in a luxury of pleasure: I say, in such critical circumstances, in such unguarded moments, how easy is it for a young thing to be led aside by her stars. Therefore, good Mr. Ironside, set your lion a roaring against these dangerous assemblies: I can assure you, one good loud roar will be sufficient to deter my ward from them, for she is naturally mighty fearful, and has been always used from her childhood to be frightened into good behaviour. And it may prove too some benefit to yourself in the management of your own females who, if they are not already, I do not at all question, but they will be very shortly gadding after these midnight gambols. Therefore, to promote your own peace and quietness, as well as mine, and the safety of all young virgins, pray order your lion to exert his loudest notes against masquerades; I am sure it would be a perfect consort to all good mothers, and particularly charm the ears of "Your faithful friend and companion, MOST WORTHY SIR, "OLD RUSTISIDES." "BEING informed that the Evites daily increase, and that fig-leaves are shortly coming into fashion ; I have hired me a piece of ground and planted it with fig-trees, the soil being naturally productive of them. I hope, good Sir, you will so far encourage my new project, as to acquaint the ladies, that I have now by me a choice collection of fig-leaves of all sorts and sizes, of a delicate texture, and a lovely bright verdure, beautifully scalloped at the extremities, and most curiously wrought with variety of slender fibres, ranged in beautiful meanders and windings. I have some very cool ones for summer, so transparently thin, that you may see through them, and others of a thicker substance for winter; I have likewise some very small ones of a particular species for little misSo that I do not question but to give general satisfaction to all ladies whatsoever, that please to repair to me at the sign of the Adam and Eve, near Cupid's gardens. If you will favour me with the insertion of this in your Guardian, I will make your favourite, the Sparkler, a present of some of the choicest fig-leaves I have, and lay before her feet the primitia of my new garden; and if you bring me a great many customers for my leaves, I promise you my figs shall all be at your service. ses. "I am, worthy SIR, "Your worship's most obedient ANTHONY EVER-GREEN." "N. B. I am now rearing up a set of fine furbelowed dock-leaves, which will be exceeding proper for old women, and superannuated maids; those plants having two excellent good properties; the one, that they flourish best in dry ground; the other, that being clothed with several integuments of downy surfaces, they are exceeding warm and cherishing." No. 143. TUESDAY, AUGUST 25, 1713. Quis fuit, horrendos primus qui protulit enses? TIBUL. ELEG. i. 10. Who first, with skill inhuman, did produce, NOTWITHSTANDING the levity of the pun, which is in the second line of my motto, the subject I am going upon is of the most serious consequence, and concerns no less than the peace and quiet, and, for aught I know, the very life and safety, of every inoffensive and well-disposed inhabitant of this city. Frequent complaints have been made to me, by men of discretion and sobriety in most of the coffee-houses, from St. James's to Jonathan's, that there is sprung up of late a very numerous race of young fellows about the town, who have the confidence to walk the streets, and come into all public places in open day light, with swords of such an immoderate length, as strike terror into a great many of her majesty's good subjects. Besides this, half a dozen of this fraternity in a room or a narrow street, are as inconvenient as so many turnstiles, because you can pass neither backward nor forward, till you have first put their weapons aside. When Jack Lizard made his first trip to town from the university, he thought he could never bring up with him too much of the gentleman ; this I soon perceived in the first visit he made me, when I remember, he came scraping in at the door, encumbered with a bar of cold iron so irksomely long, that it banged against his calf, and jarred upon his right heel, as he walked, and came rattling behind him as he ran down the stairs. But his sister Annabella's raillery soon cured him of this awkward air by telling him that his sword was only fit for going up stairs, or walking up hill, and that she shrewdly suspected he had stolen it out of the college kitchen. But to return to the public grievance of this city; it is very remarkable, that these brothers of the blade began to appear upon the first suspension of arms; and that, since the conclusion of the peace, the order is very much increased, both as to the number of the men, and the size of their weapons. I am informed, that these men of preposterous bravery, who affect a military air in a profound peace, and dare to look terrible amongst their friends and fellow-citizens, have formed a plan to erect themselves into a society, under the name of the Terrible club; and that they entertain hopes of getting the great armoury-hall in the Tower for their club-room. Upon this I have made it my business to inquire more particularly into the cabals of these Hectors; and, by the help of my lion, I have got such informations as will enable me to countermine their designs, together with a copy of some fundamental articles drawn up by three of their ringleaders; the which, it seems, are to be augmented and assented to by the rest of the gang, on the first of January next, if not timely prevented, at a general meeting in the sword-cutlers' hall. I shall at present, to let them see that they are not unobserved, content myself with publishing only the said articles. ARTICLES TO BE AGREED UPON BY THE MEMBERS OF THE TERRIBLE CLUB. Imprimis, That the club do meet at midnight in the great armoury-hall in the Tower, if leave can be obtained, the first Monday in every month. 11. That the president be seated upon a drum at the upper end of the table, accoutred with a helmet, a basket hilt sword, and a buff belt. III. That the president be always obliged to provide, for the first and standing dish of the club, a pasty of bull beef, baked in a target made for that purpose. IV. That the members do cut their meat with bayonets instead of knives. v. That every member do sit to the table, and eat with his hat, his sword, and his gloves on. vi. That there be no liquor drank but rack-punch, quickened with brandy and gunpowder. VII. That a large mortar be made use of for a punch-bowl. In all appearance it could be no other than a member of this club, who came last week to Button's, and sat over against the lion with such a settled fierceness in his countenance, as if he came to vie with that animal in sternness of looks. His stature was somewhat low; his motions quick and smart, and might be mistaken for startings and convulsions. He wore a broad stiff hat, cudgel-proof, with an edging three fingers deep, trussed up into the fierce trooper's cock. To this was added a dark wig, very moderately curled, and tied in two large knots up to his ears; his coat was short, and rich in tarnished lace; his nostrils and his upper lip were all begrimed with snuff. At first I was in hopes the gentleman's friends took care not to intrust him with any weapon; till looking down, I could perceive a sword of a most unwarrantable size, that hung carelessly below his knee, with two large tassels at the hilt, that played about his ancles. |