Page images
PDF
EPUB

DISCOURSE XIV.

THE CONJUGAL DUTIES OF CHRISTIANS ILLUSTRATED AND

ENFORCED.

1 PET. iii. 1–7.—Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

DIVINE revelation has often been compared to the sun; and it would be easy to trace out many striking, pleasing, instructive analogies between these two glorious works of God. To one of these analogies, suggested by that portion of Scripture which now lies before us, I would, for a moment, solicit your attention. The sun, from his high throne in the heavens, diffuses light and heat and genial influence over all the earth, smiling benignantly on the lofty mountain and the humble vale, the populous city and the obscure village, the fertile field and the wilderness, the noble's mansion, with its richly cultivated demesne, and the peasant's cottage, with its surrounding barren waste. "His going forth is from the end of heaven, and his circuit unto the ends of it, and there is nothing hid from the heat thereof." The sun is a common good. It is for the world, for all the world.

It is thus, also, with Divine truth enshrined in the Bible. It pours forth direction, and motive, and warning, and comfort suited to all men of all countries, all ages, all conditions; to the young, to the middle-aged, and to the old; to the rich and to the poor, and to those to whom neither poverty nor riches have been given; to the prosperous and to the afflicted; to the happy and to the miserable; to man in the lowest and in the highest station in society and state of civilization; to the savage and to the sage; to the monarch and to the slave. It is the moral sun of the world of humanity, shedding pure light, holy influence over the whole of its diversified surface. No class of men is overlooked; every individual, in whatever circumstances he may be placed, may find suitable instruction here.

In the verses immediately preceding our text, we see the light of inspired truth shining most benignantly on the humble dwelling of the

[graphic]

1 Psal. xix. 6.

christian slave, and guiding and sustaining, and cheering him, amid his unmerited sufferings and ill-rewarded toils; and in the text itself, the sun of righteousness sheds beams full of healing on the very sources of society, in those directions, by complying with which, families might be made the abodes of a tranquil enjoyment and holy happiness, which would lead the mind backward to Eden, and forward to heaven.

The words that lie before us are a farther illustration of the general injunction given to Christians, to "have their conversation honest among the Gentiles," that is, so to conduct themselves as that even their heathen neighbors should be constrained to approve and respect them. The manner in which this injunction was to be obeyed, was by a careful performance of relative duties, especially such as they owed to their heathen connections. Of the excellence of such a course of conduct they were qualified judges, but they were not of the principles of "our most holy faith," nor of duties of a more strictly religious and christian character. All Christians, therefore, were to yield a cheerful, loyal subjection to civil authority, as lodged both in its supreme and subordinate administrators; to cherish and display a becoming respect for all who, on whatever ground, had a claim on their respect to cultivate and manifest that peculiar regard to the christian society, which, in Christians, even heathens could not help perceiving to be becoming and proper; and to show a reverence for the supreme civil power, based on, and limited only by, the reverence due to Him who is "King of kings, and Lord of lords.' Such Christians as stood in the relation of servants, especially to heathen masters, were carefully to discharge the duties and submit to the hardships connected with the situation in which they were placed. The natural tendency of such conduct, such "good works," habitually and perseveringly maintained, was to overcome the prejudices of their heathen neighbors, to convince them that they had misapprehended the true character both of their religion, and of themselves; and to constrain those "who spoke against them as evil-doers, to glorify God in the day of visitation.”

[ocr errors]

Another way in which the same desirable object was to be sought, was by those who stood in the relation of husbands and wives, conscientiously discharging the duties which grew out of their union. And when we reflect on the manner in which the duties of the conjugal relation were neglected and violated among heathens; how much there was of the harshness of the tyrant in the character of the heathen husband, and of the baseness of the slave in the character of the heathen wife; how much pollution and cruelty prevailed, in what should be the sanctuary of purity and love-we cannot help seeing that few things were more calculated to strike, and to strike favorably, heathen observers, than the exemplification of the genius and power of Christianity, in softening the character of the husband, and elevating, at once, the condition and character of the wife; and in thus introducing an order, and purity, and endearment, and enjoyment into the domestic circle, not only beyond what heathen philosophy had accomplished, but beyond what it had ever dreamed of.

Such is the connection, we apprehend, in which the interesting

passage I have read, is introduced; and it contains a brief statement, and a powerful enforcement, of the conjugal duties; first of the duties of the wife, and then, of the duties of the husband.

[ocr errors]

66

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

2

The whole of the conjugal duties, like indeed all duties, may be and are summed up in one word, love." Husbands," says the apostle Paul, love your wives;" and the same apostle commands Titus, to take care "that the aged women teach the young women to love their husbands." But the appropriate form of love, in any particular case, when embodied in action, depends on the relation in which the party who loves stands to the party beloved. Parents are to "love their children," and to show that they do so by "bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Children are to "love their parents," and to show that they do so, by "being obedient to them in the Lord." Masters are to love their servants, and to show this by being kind and considerate in their requisitions and arrangements; and servants are to love their masters, and to show that they do so, by being obedient and submissive, diligent and faithful. In the like manner, husbands and wives are to "love one another, with a pure heart fervently;" and they are to manifest that love by a careful performance of the duties which rise out of, and are suited to, the relation in which they respectively stand to each other. What these are, we are told by the apostle, in the passage before us. The duties of the wives are, subjection, chaste conversation coupled with fear, and an adorning of themselves; which is described, first, negatively, and then positively; and the motives urging to the performance of these duties are two: first, that thus they might, probably, be the means of converting their heathen husbands; and, secondly, that they would follow the example of holy women in former ages. The duties of the husbands are, dwelling with their wives according to knowledge, and giving honor to them; and the motive urging to the performance of these duties are three: first, that the wife is 'the weaker vessel;' secondly, that their wives, as Christians, are, equally with themselves, heirs of the grace of life; and thirdly, that an opposite mode of conduct would hinder their prayers. Let us attend, then, in their order, to these statements and enforcements of the conjugal duties.

PART I.

I.—THE DUTIES OF CHRISTIAN WIVES.

And first, of the duties of wives. Their duty is thus stated and enforced, in the first six verses. "Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; when they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear; whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great Eph. vi. 4, 1, 9, 5.

1

Eph. v. 25. Tit. ii. 4.

2

price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands: even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord: whose daughters ye are as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.'

§ 1.-Subjection.

1

The first duty of christian wives, mentioned by the apostle, is SUBJECTION. "Be in subjection to your own husbands." The apostle Paul enjoins the same duty in similar terms: "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as is fit in the Lord;" and he commands Titus, in "speaking the things that become sound doctrine," to exhort "that the aged women teach the young women to be obedient to their own husbands." I believe, that in the conjugal relation, matters are best managed when there is little display, or assertion of superiority, or rule, on the part of the husband, but where the spouses "submit themselves one to another, in the fear of God." There can, however, be no doubt, that God, both as the God of nature, and the God of revelation, has distinctly indicated that the rule of the domestic society is vested in the husband. Hear the declarations of Scripture: "Adam was first formed, and then Eve. The man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. The man was not created for the woman, but the woman for the man. The Lord said, it is not good for man to be alone, I will make him a helpmeet for him. The man is the image and glory of God, but the woman is the glory of the man." Even in a state of innocence the husband had rule; and after the introduction of sin, of which the apostle gives this account, “Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, was in the transgression," the Divine will was thus declared: "And to the woman he said, Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." 3

This appointment is in entire concurrence with sound reason and true expediency. "In all communities, if there is to be order and peace, there must be rule. There can be no happiness without peace, no peace without order, no order without subordination, no subordination without subjection. Perpetual strife would arise from equality, or contested superiority." To secure the advantages of society in all its forms, authority must be established, and submission enjoined. The only question in such a case is, where should the authority be lodged? And in the case of the domestic society it would seem that the question admits of only one answer.

4

The subjection of the wife is extensive, but by no means unlimited. It is subjection "in the Lord;" such a subjection as becomes a christian woman who feels her own responsibilities to the One Master in heaven. His authority is primitive, and binds fast;" as Leighton says, “All other have their patents and privileges from him. He therefore is supremely and absolutely to be obeyed by all." Besides,

[blocks in formation]

1

"it is not the submission of slaves to their master, or of subjects to their sovereign, or of children to their father. It is a subjection that has more of equality in it, accords with the idea of a helper, a companion and a friend; springs originally from choice, and is acquiesced in for the sake of propriety and advantage." It has been very justly remarked, "Whatever bitterness there is in this subjection arises from the corruption of nature in both parties: in the wife of a perverse desire rather to command, or at least a repining disinclination to obey; and this increased by the disorder and imprudence and harshness of the husband in the use of his authority. But in a christian woman, the conscience of divine authority will carry it, and weigh down all difficulties; for the wife considers her station. She is set in it; it is the rank the Lord's hand has placed her in, and therefore she will not break it. Out of respect and love to him, she can digest much frowardness of a husband, and make her patient subjection an offering to God. Lord, I offer this to thee. For thy sake I humbly bear it.

It is a happy thing when the personal excellence of a husband makes submission a compliance with inclination; but a christian woman, even when her husband is not so wise or reasonable in his requisitions and arrangements as she could wish, yet, because by God's providence, he is her own husband, and God's command is to be subject to her own husband, she is subject to the marital authority, not only "for wrath, but for conscience' sake.' Such conduct is acceptable to God, and generally draws down tokens of his approbation. By following this course, many a woman has spent a life of respectability and usefulness, who, by acting otherwise, would neither have been respectable nor useful; and many a family has been a scene of order and peace, where otherwise there would have been nothing but confusion and every evil work. Besides, it is the submissive wife who generally gets most of her own will."

[ocr errors]

§ 2. Chaste conversation coupled with fear."

The second duty of christian wives, mentioned by the apostle, is "chaste conversation coupled with fear." Conversation here, and uniformly in the Scriptures, does not signify mutual talk, colloquial intercourse, familiar discourse, but habitual conduct, manner of life. Chaste conversation means much more than abstinence from gross vice, direct violation of the seventh commandment; actual infraction of the marriage covenant. Indeed such things were not even to be named among Christians. The reference is rather to an avoidance of everything that has even the appearance of an approximation, to the indulgence or display of sentiments and feelings, inconsistent with that purity of mind, that chastity of heart, which the christian law requires. There is, as has been justly observed, an audacity of countenance, a boldness of look, a levity of discourse, a freedom of manners, a forwardness of behavior, a challenging, obtrusive, advancing air, very unbecoming the sacred decorum which should mark 2 Leighton.

1 Jay.

3 Casta ad virum matrona parendo imperat.--PUBLIUS SYRUS.

« PreviousContinue »