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lasting sorrow, are in the power of marriage. A woman, indeed, ventures most, for she hath no sanctuary to retire to from an evil husband; she must dwell upon her sorrow, and hatch the eggs which her own folly or infelicity hath produced ; and she is more under it because her tormentor hath a warrant of prerogative, and the woman may complain to God as subjects do of tyrant princes; but otherwise she hath no appeal in the causes of unkindness. And though the man can run from many hours of his sadness, yet he must return to it again; and when he sits among his neighbours, he remembers the objection that is in his bosom, and he sighs deeply. The boys, and the pedlars, and the fruiterers, shall tell of this man when he is carried to his grave, that he lived and died a poor wretched person.

The stags in the Greek epigram, whose knees were clogged with frozen snow upon the mountains, came down to the brooks of the valleys, hoping to thaw their joints with the waters of the stream; but there the frost overtook them, and bound them fast in ice, till the young herdsmen took them in their stranger snare.

It is the unhappy chance of many men, finding many inconveniences upon the mountains of single life, they descend into the valleys of marriage to refresh their troubles; and there they enter into fetters, and are bound to sorrow by the cords of a man's or woman's peevishness.

As the Indian women enter into folly for the price of an elephant, and think their crime war

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rantable, so do men and women change their liberty for a rich fortune (like Eriphile the Argive; she preferred gold before a good man), and show themselves to be less than money, by overvaluing that to all the content and wise felicity of their lives; and when they have counted the money and their sorrows together, how willingly would they buy, with the loss of all that money, modesty, or sweet nature to their relative!

As very a fool is he that chooses for beauty principally :-“ Cui sunt eruditi oculi et stulta mens,” (as one said,) whose eyes are witty and their souls sensual: it is an ill band of affections to tie two hearts together by a little thread of red and white: and they can love no longer but until the next ague comes ; and they are fond of each other but at the chance of fancy, or the small-pox, or child-bearing, or care, or time, or any thing that can destroy a pretty flower.



Man and wife are equally concerned to avoid all offences of each other in the beginning of their conversation : every little thing can blast an infant blossom; and the breath of the south can shake the little rings of the vine, when first they begin to curl like the locks of a new-weaned boy :: but when by age and consolidation they stiffen into the hardness of a stem, and have, by the warm embraces of the sun and the kisses of

heaven, brought forth their clusters, they can endure the storms of the north, and the loud noises of a tempest, and yet never be broken: so are the early unions of an unfixed marriage; watchful and observant, jealous and busy, inquisitive and careful, and apt to take alarm at every unkind word. After the hearts of the man and the wife are endeared and hardened by a mutual confidence and experience, longer than artifice and pretence can last, there are a great many remembrances, and some things present that dash all little unkindnesses in pieces.



Let man and wife be careful to stifle little things, that as fast as they spring they be cut down and trod upon; for if they be suffered to grow by numbers, they make the spirit peevish, and the society troublesome, and the affections loose and easy by an habitual aversation. Some men are more vexed with a fly than with a wound; and when the gnats disturb our sleep, and the reason is disquieted, but not perfectly awakened, it is often seen that he is fuller of trouble than if, in the day-light of his reason, he were to contest with a potent enemy.

In the frequent little accidents of a family, a man's reason cannot always be awake ; and, when the discourses are imperfect, and a trifling trouble makes him yet more restless, he is soon betrayed to the violence of passion.



Let them be sure to abstain from all those things which, by experience and observation, they find to be contrary to each other.

They that govern elephants never appear before them in white.



LET the husband and wife infinitely avoid curious distinction of mine and thine; for this hath caused all the laws, and all the suits, and all the wars in the world. Let them who have but one person, have also but one interest. As the earth, the mother of all creatures here below, sends up all its vapours and proper emissions at the command of the sun, and yet requires them again to refresh her own needs, and they are deposited between them both in the bosom of a cloud, as a common receptacle, that they may cool his flames, and yet descend to make her fruitful : so are the proprieties of a wife to be disposed of by her lord; and yet all are for her provisions, it being a part of his need to refresh and supply hers; and it serves the interest of both while it serves the necessities of either.

These are the duties of them both, which have common regards and equal necessities and obligations; and indeed there is scarce any matter of duty but it concerns them both alike, and is


only distinguished by names, and hath its variety by circumstances and little accidents; and what in one is called love, in the other is called re

; and what in the wife is obedience, the same in the man is duty. He provides and she dispenses; he gives commandments and she rules by them; he rules her by authority, and she rules him by love ; she ought by all means to please him, and he must by no means displease her. For as the heart is set in the midst of the body, and though it strikes to one side by the prerogative of nature, yet those throbs and constant inotions are felt on the other side also, and the influence is equal to both : so it is in conjugal duties, some motions are to the one side more than to the other ; but the interest is on both, and the duty is equal in the several instances.


The next inquiry is more particular, and considers the power and duty of the man : · Let every one of you so love his wife even as himself.' Thou art to be a father and a mother to her, and a brother; and great reason, unless the state of marriage should be no better, than the condition of an orphan. For she that is bound to leave father, and mother, and brother for thee, either is miserable like a poor fatherless child, or else ought to find all these, and more,

in thee.

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