Page images
PDF
EPUB

Henry played away, in this very room, not only the four great bells of St. Paul's cathedral, but the fine image of St. Paul, which stood upon the top of the spire, to Sir Miles Partridge, who took them down the next day, and sold them by auction. Have you then any cause to regret being born in the times you now live? or do you still believe that human nature continues to run on declining every age? If we observe the actions of the busy part of mankind, your ancestors will be found infinitely more gross, servile, and even dishonest, than you. If, forsaking history, we only trace them in their hours of amusement and dissipation, we shall find them more sensual, more entirely devoted to pleasure, and infinitely more selfish.

The last hostess of note I find upon record was Jane Rouse. She was born among the lower ranks of the people; and by frugality and extreme complaisance contrived to acquire a moderate fortune: this she might have enjoyed for many years, had she not unfortunately quarrelled with one of her neighbours, a woman who was in high repute for sanctity through the whole parish. In the times of which I speak two women seldom quarrelled, that one did not accuse the other of witchcraft, and she who first contrived to vomit crooked pins was sure to come off victorious. The scandal of a modern tea-table differs widely from the scandal of former times: the fascination of a lady's eyes at present is regarded as a compliment; but if a lady formerly should be accused of having witchcraft in her eyes, it were much better both for her soul and body that she had no eyes at all.

In short Jane Rouse was accused of witchcraft; and though she made the best defence she could, it was all to no purpose; she was taken from her own bar to the bar of the Old-Bailey, condemned, and executed accordingly. These were times indeed! when even women could not scold in safety.

Since her time the tavern underwent several revolutions, according to the spirit of the times, or the disposition of the reigning monarch. It was this day a brothel, and the next a conventicle for enthusiasts. It was one year noted for harbouring whigs, and the next infamous for a retreat to tories. Some years ago it was in high

vogue, but at present it seems.declining. This only may be remarked in general, that whenever taverns flourish most, the times are then most extravagant and luxurious. ....." Lord! Mrs. Quickly," interrupted I," you have really "deceived me; I expected a romance, and here you have "been this half hour giving me only a description of the "spirit of the times; if you have nothing but tedious re“marks to communicate, seek some other hearer; I am "determined to hearken only to stories."

I had scarcely concluded, when my eyes and ears seemed open to my landlord, who had been all this while giving me an account of the repairs he had made in the house; and was now got into the story of the cracked glass in the dining-room.

ESSAY VI.

I AM fond of amusement in whatever company it is to be found; and wit, though dressed in rags, is ever pleasing to me. I went some days ago to take a walk in St. James's Park, about the hour in which company generally leave it to go to dinner. There were but few in the walks, and those who stayed seemed by their looks rather more willing to forget that they had an appetite than gain one. I sat down on one of the benches, at the other end of which was seated a man in very shabby clothes.

We continued to groan, to hem, and to cough, as is usual upon such occasions; and at last ventured upon conversation. "I beg pardon, sir," cried I, "but I think" “I have seen you before; your face is familiar to me.” "Yes, sir,” replied he, "I have a good familiar face, as my friends tell me. I am as well known in every town "in England as the dromedary, or live crocodile. You "must understand, sir, that I have been these sixteen 66 years Merry Andrew to a puppet-show; last Bartholomew fair my master and I quarrelled, beat each other, "and parted; he to sell his puppets to the pincushion“makers in Rosemary-lane, and I to starve in St. James's "Park."

[ocr errors]

66

"I am sorry, sir, that a person of your appearance "should labour under any difficulties." O sir," returned he, my appearance is very much at your service; but, "though I cannot boast of eating much, yet there are few "that are merrier: if I had twenty thousand a year I "should be very merry; and, thank the Fates, though "not worth a groat, I am very merry still. If I have "three pence in my pocket, I never refuse to be my three "halfpence; and if I have no money, I never scorn to "be treated by any that are kind enough to pay my reck"oning. What think you, sir, of a steak and a tankard? "You shall treat me now; and I will treat you again "when I find you in the Park in love with eating, and "without money for a dinner." VOL. II.

to pay

E

As I never refuse a small expense for the sake of a merry companion, we instantly adjourned to a neighbouring ale-house, and in a few moments had a frothing tankard, and a smoaking steak spread on the table before us. It is impossible to express how much the sight of such good cheer improved my companion's vivacity. "I "like this dinner, sir," says he, "for three reasons: "first, because I am naturally fond of beef; secondly, "because I am hungry; and, thirdly and lastly, because "I get it for nothing: no meat eats so sweet as that for "which we do not pay.'

دو

But

He therefore now fell-to, and his appetite seemed to correspond with his inclination. After dinner was over, he observed that the steak was tough; " and yet, sir," returns he, "bad as it was, it seemed a rump-steak to me. "O the delights of poverty and a good appetite! We "beggars are the very foundlings of nature; the rich she "treats like an arrant step-mother; they are pleased "with nothing; cut a steak from what part you will, and "it is insupportably tough; dress it up with pickles, and " even pickles will not procure them an appetite. "the whole creation is filled with good things for the beg66 gar; Calvert's butt out-tastes Champagne, and Sedge"ley's homebrewed excels Tokay. Joy, joy, my blood, "though our estates lie no where, we have fortunes where"ever we go. If an inundation sweeps away half the "grounds of Cornwall, I am content; I have no lands "there: if the stocks sink, that gives me no uneasiness; "I am no Jew." The fellow's vivacity, joined to his poverty, I own, raised my curiosity to know something of his life and circumstances; and I entreated, that he would indulge my desire....." That I will, sir," said he, " and welcome; only let us drink to prevent our sleeping; let us have another tankard while we are awake; let us have another tankard; for, ah, how charming a tan"kard looks when full!

[ocr errors]

"You must know then, that I am very well descended; 66 my ancestors have made some noise in the world: for my mother cried oysters, and my father beat a drum: "I am told we have even had some trumpeters in our

[ocr errors]

" family. Many a nobleman cannot show so respectful a 66 genealogy but that is neither here nor there; as I was "their only child, my father designed to breed me up to "his own employment, which was that of a drummer to a 66 puppet-show. Thus the whole employment of my younger years was that of interpreter to Punch and "king Solomon in all his glory. But though my father "was very fond of instructing me in beating all the 26 marches and points of war, I made no very great pro66 gress, because I naturally had no ear for music; so "at the age of fifteen, I went and listed for a soldier. "As I had ever hated beating a drum, so I soon found that "I disliked carrying a musket also; neither the one trade 66 nor the other were to my taste, for I was by nature “fond of being a gentleman: besides, I was obliged to “obey my captain; he has his will, I have mine, and 66 you have yours; now I very reasonably concluded, that "it was much more comfortable for a man to obey his own will than another's.

[ocr errors]

"The life of a soldier soon therefore gave me the spleen; "I asked leave to quit the service; but as I was tall and 66 strong, my captain thanked me for my kind intention, "and said, because he had a regard for me, we should "not part. I wrote to my father a very dismal penitent "letter, and desired that he would raise money to pay "for my discharge; but the good man was as fond of "drinking as I was (Sir, my service to you), and those "who are fond of drinking never pay for other people's "discharges in short he never answered my letter. "What could be done? If I have not money, said I to << myself, to pay for my discharge, I must find an equiva"lent some other way; and that must be by running 66 away. I deserted, and that answered my purpose every "bit as well as if I had bought my discharge.

"Well, I was now fairly rid of my military employment; Í sold my soldier's clothes, bought worse, and, "in order not to be overtaken, took the most unfrequented "roads possible. One evening as I was entering a vil"lage, I perceived a man, whom I afterwards found to "be the curate of the parish, thrown from his horse in a 66 miry road, and almost smothered in the mud. He de

« PreviousContinue »