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LETTER XII.

Entreat-the elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.

1 TIM. V. 2.

FEMALE SOCIETY, MARRIAGE, &c.

MY DEAR YOUNG FRIEND,

A clergyman will, of course, have much and constant occasion to be in the company of Females. They form a most interesting and active part of every church. Many things may be accomplished by their pious agency, which could scarcely be attained in any other way. And happy, indeed, is that minister of the gospel, who, by wisdom, fidelity, prudence, and christian delicacy, is enabled to conciliate the esteem, and to acquire and maintain the unlimited confidence of his female parishioners, and of other persons of worth of that sex, with whom he may be called in Providence to ass

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ciate. He who fails of doing this, eannot be either very acceptable or very useful; while he who succeeds in attaining it, not only possesses one of the most valuable pledges of permanent popularity; but also enjoys advantages for doing good of the richest kind. The female part of every congregation have, in general, an influence, which, while it cannot be defined, cannot, at the same time, be resisted. And, for the most part, this influence, I believe, is as just in its ultimate award, as it is sovereign in its sway.

That department of clerical Manners and Habits, then, which has a respect to Females, is, at once, one of the most delicate and important that can pass under review.

I am aware, too, of the great difficulty of treating this subject, especially in reference to unmarried clergymen, in a profitable manner. While it is a subject concerning which counsel is more frequently needed than almost any other; it is one, at the same time, in which feeling and caprice are so apt to triumph over reason, that, when counsel is most urgently needed, it is seldom heard, or, at least, seldom properly weighed. What else, indeed, can be expected, when so large a portion of mankind, and especially of the young, and even of the conscientious and pious, seem to think that here, if ever, inclination ought to bear a sovereign sway;

This

and that listening to the dictates of prudence, is a sort of high treason against that refined system of sentimentalism" which they suppose ought absolutely to govern in such cases. is being weak and foolish, if the expression may be allowed, upon principle. And hence, I have known, again and again, some of the most soher-minded and excellent people of my acquaintance, giving themselves up to matrimonial partialities and connexions so manifestly unworthy of persons in their senses; and so perfectly deaf to all the suggestions of wisdom, that they deserved the discipline of the rod just as much as children at school.

I do not deny that ardent affection is necessary to matrimonial happiness. And am as ready to grant, as the most sentimental of my youthful acquaintance, that marriages contracted on the ground of mercenary calculation, or even from the mere dictates of cold prudence, promise little conjugal enjoyment. But does it follow from this concession, that a reflecting man, and especially a man of religious principle, ought to allow himself to fall in love with the first pretty face he sees, without the least reference to his highest obligations, and without the least knowledge of the temper, intellect, prineiples, habits and manners of the individual? Surely a man ought as sacredly to take care, before marriage, on whom he bestows his af

fections, as afterwards that he confine them to the object whom he has chosen. There are limits, then, beyond which inclination ought not to be allowed to govern in this matter. So I should decide in the case of any one who meant to act the part of a rational being.

But a minister of the gospel is peculiarly bound to summon to his consideration, on this whole subject, a solemn reference to his official character, duties, and usefulness, as well as to his personal taste. And he who allows himself to make a sacrifice of the former to the latter, is unfaithful to himself, and to his God. Whatever others may do, when he thinks of selecting a partner for life, he will have before him his high office, and all the interests of the Redeem. er's kingdom, to which he has devoted himself, as well as his own personal gratification. Happy is the man who, in this interesting concern, is favoured with that wisdom which cometh down from above," and is enabled perfectly to unite the tenderest impulses of affection, with the sternest dictates of duty!

1. In reference to this subject, my first leading suggestion is, that THERE ARE SOME CLERGYMEN WHO OUGHT NEVER TO MARRY While I firmly believe, that the doctrine which enjoins celibacy on the clergy generally, is, as the apostle styles it, "a doctrine of devils," and that it has led, and must always lead, to the

most enormous evils; I have, at the same time, no doubt, that the minister who deliberately resolves to spend his days as an Evangelist, or an Evangelical Itinerant, ought, if he can be happy in a single state, to continue in that state. I am of the opinion that neither Wesley nor Whitefield, for example, ought ever to have married. They were both, indeed, strangely injudicious, in the selection of a partner; but I doubt whether any woman could have been happy with either of them herself, or have made either of them happy, as long as they pursued the course of life to which they were devoted. I think, too, I could name some individuals, now living, in our own country, whose usefulness is greatly extended by their declining to entangle themselves with those worldly cares which the conjugal relation seldom fails to induce. I know not that you have in view any such plan of ministerial labour. If you have, and if you can be comfortable in a life of celibacy, I would advise you never to marry. In this case, you may give yourself more entirely to your work; your movements, however incessant, may be untrammelled; much` less will suffice for your decent support, than if you had a family; and thus you may afford es sential aid to many congregations, from which you would be in a great measure shut out, if you were bound by domestick ties. There ought

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