can know it? I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings."(a) 'Aye," cried I, clasping my hands, "it must be so, if God made man, he must know what is in man. O He knows, alas! but too well what is in me. He knows how often I have bent my knee before Him, and repeated a prayer, while my soul and spirit have been absorbed with a new fashion, or a new face, in the pew or seat before me. He knows how I have pretended to thank Him at table, when some mockery of grace has been said, and it has been considered decent and polite to be silent and to look serious till the form was over; and He, too, knows that my thought has been the company, or my own dress, or the dinner. Why, I have gone from the Holy Sacrament to the park, and from protestation and resolution on Sunday, to the ball and the theatre on Monday. O! I never uttered a prayer from my filthy heart in my life: I am just like those I have heard of somewhere in the Scriptures, where it says, This people honoureth me with the lip, but their heart is far from me.' Yea, I am a monster in iniquity!"

Such was the ebb and flow of my soul's transports, for several weeks, that I wandered along this valley. I generally found a trunk of a tree or a cavern to sleep in at night, and by day I lived on the wild fruits, till my heart was softened by a sense of the providing care and upholding hand of GoD. This glimpse of His love rushing into my mind one morning, I broke forth thus: "Why, O Thou bounteous GOD and LORD, dost Thou, in this dreary solitude, and my most forlorn state, why dost Thou thus supply my wants, and provide for my necessities, if Thou hast the design to kill me at last, and send me down to hell? O Thou art too good and gracious, the Bible tells me so on Thine own dictation, to feed the poor wretch with hopes, which Thou intendest to crush and destroy. Doth not Thy poor afflicted servant, my fellow mortal Job, say, speaking of Thee, Will He plead against me with His great power? no; but He would put strength in me:' and may not I too say so? Thou art a very gracious GOD, slow to anger, and of great kindness; then what would be more kind than to extend Thy pity to such a poor

(a) Jer. xvii. 9.

wretch as I am? But O that I knew where to find Him, as Job saith in his 23d chapter, O that I knew where I might find Him, that I might come even to His seat! I would order my cause before Him, and fill my mouth with arguments. I would know the words which He would answer me, and understand what He would say unto me!'

"But O that I knew how to come before Thee! I know not how to pray; and I feel and know too well, O GOD, that Thou canst not be mocked. Then how am I to pray, who never have prayed yet? LORD, teach me to pray; Thou canst do all things; Thou canst do that. But O! I am not worthy to be taught. And yet I must pray, if I would expect to be heard; for that is the way we poor sinners talk to the great GOD. I'll find out some prayer of some holy man in the Scriptures, and learn all or some of that, till I can pray in a right manner." And thus I took the Psalms, and opening at the first, my eye glanced on the last chapter of Job, verse 6, where Job exclaims, "Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes;" and, exceedingly amazed, I cried out, "What! holy Job to speak thus of himself, what ought I to say? Why, he led a holy life always; he was always good; and look, how he speaks, 'I abhor myself!' Do I abhor my vile self? No; anything but that. I that have sinned and sinned, again and again, all my life, indeed, against this loving GOD, and never kept one of His holy commandments with my heart, what should I say? And yet, what words are these? Out of the depths have I cried unto Thee, O LORD! LORD, hear my voice; let Thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications. If Thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O LORD, who shall stand? But there is forgiveness with Thee, that Thou mayest be feared. I wait for Thee, LORD; my soul doth wait; and in His word do I hope. My soul waiteth for the LORD, more than they that watch for the morning, I say more than they that watch for the morning. Let Israel hope in the LORD, for with the LORD there is mercy, and with Him is plenteous redemption."" (Psalm cxxx.)

I was just going, with breathless haste, to snatch hold of this Psalm, and apply it to my poor soul, when, as if a voice spoke to me, a thought rushed in thus, "You have no business with this Psalm, because it is for Israel; 'Let Israel hope in the

LORD,' not you, nor such as you ;" and just then my tears fell down in copious streams on the Book, and in trying to wipe them off, the leaves turned over, and these words stood before my mind like an armed company: "But unto the wicked God saith, what hast thou to do to declare my statutes, or that thou shouldest take my covenant in thy mouth; seeing thou hatest instruction and castest my words behind thee?" I now groaned from my inmost soul," O LORD, I have hated Thee! I have set Thee at nought!" "Yes," methought a voice replied, "Thou hast thyself passed thy judgment upon thyself." Now I looked down again and read, "These things hast thou done and I kept silence; thou thoughtest that I was altogether such an one as thyself; but I will reprove thee, and set them in order before thine eyes." Psa. li. "Because when I called none did answer; when I spake, they did not hear; but they did evil before mine eyes, and choose that in which I delighted not." (Isaiah lxvi. 4.) "There," re-echoed the voice, “that is just your case; you are afar off' from GOD; in the gall of bitterness and in the bonds of iniquity,' and 'your transgression is sealed up like a bag,' to the day of God's righteous judgment of sinners. No hope for such an one! Reprobate silver art thou! Miserable wretch! go and make an end of thy misery. Thou hast done despite to the Spirit of Grace; and all gone for ever."

is

I was so staggered and terrified with these suggestions that I felt my heart sink within me. My tongue, as David says, clave to the roof of my mouth. I knew not what to do, whether to give up the point of prayer altogether, or not; whether to stand still, or go on; whether to lie down and die in despair, or to make a violent effort to clamber up the rocks, and see if I could, from some eminence, behold any dwelling of man. My head throbbed, my legs trembled, and I felt half wild; nay, I think, at that instant, I was within a small space of madness.

But at this juncture, as I stood near some large intermingled bushes, whence I had gathered nuts and berries, I suddenly felt a shadow pass across my face, I looked immediately up, thinking a great bird, such as I had beheld with some terror in these valleys, was flying quickly across, between me and the sun. I raised my hand to shade off the sun beams from my sight, when, high up on a crag, I perceived a human form,-a female! My

whole mind now experienced a sudden revulsion of feeling, the possibility of being near a human creature was delightful to me in these solitudes. I looked more earnestly, and saw a female form, running, or leaping, or clambering, as might be required to advance; for a moment I saw her stand still, with clasped hands, and then begin the same course. I longed to call out, but I dared not, and yet I dreaded losing this opportunity of making one acquaintance in this lonely place. At length, to my great grief, a projecting rock hid her from my sight altogether, and, after straining my eyes in vain for half an hour, I saw no more of her, and I sat down on the grass and wept.

CHAPTER II.

Magdalena again catches a glimpse of the female-Rushes upon her and detains her-Their conversation-Holiness and grace-The awful terror of the woman—. -Magdalena's agony of mind-Reads the Bible backwards, in search of the word Grace-Her conflicts-Prays and finds relief-Espies a Town in the distance-The lofty Iron Door-Tries to pass through— A Voice from the Cleft of the Rock is heard-Magdalena's account of her wearing apparel-Throws away her Gazetteer of the World-Is stripped from head to foot, and immediately passes the Iron Gate-The Crimson Fountain within the Gateway.

I KEPT near that spot all the day, in the hope of meeting with the female, and, to my great joy, in the course of a few hours I saw her descend to the brook to drink. I held myself concealed behind the bushes to watch her movements, in order to find out whether I might trust myself with so wild a looking creature. Her long black hair hung down her back; her clothes were tattered and torn; the shoes were almost worn off her feet; and the cloak, formerly of silk, hung in strips around her. She knelt down to the water, and putting in her hand drew it out full of the liquid, and then throwing back her dishevelled locks to look up, as if to offer her thanks before she drank, I, in the deepest amazement, recognised my poor, long lost Zillah! I rushed out at once

upon her before she could rise, and, firmly holding her arm, exclaimed, "What Zillah! can it be you? Is it really you, my poor, long lost girl?"

I suspected, from her wild appearance, she would have fled from me, if I had not put my hand within her arm, and detained her. I sat down on the grass by the side of the stream, and, drawing her by me, I said, "Zillah, surely you know me? How very surprising to see you here in this solitude, do tell me how it happened; there, compose yourself, my good girl," I said, perceiving that she began to shed tears;

tell me about it." (a)

66

compose yourself, and

"Oh," answered Zillah," the word 'good,' as applied to me, makes my very soul sink. The minister talked and talked, on board the ship, to try to comfort me; he bade me over and over to look to CHRIST, but I could only look to my own vileness, and to the holiness of GOD, and so he said he was obliged to send me ashore here, and here I have been for weeks.” (b)

"Is it possible!" cried I. "I have never seen a human being yet, though I also have been several weeks in these vallies." "Oh," answered Zillah, "but there are dozens of persons here, though they hide from each other, and love to be alone. I get up on the heights to avoid all mankind, and there I glance on them." (c)

"Oh

"But, Zillah," continued I, "you don't wish, surely, to avoid me." "I'm not fit for any company," interrupted Zillah. that the LORD would have mercy upon me. But God is so holy, and I am such a sinner! Oh, the holiness of GOD! The holiness of GOD! Why this Bible I have with me shews me throughout the purity and holiness of GOD. There it is written, that the very heavens are not clean in His sight, and His angels He chargeth with folly."

I was struck dumb with this remark. It made me shiver and tremble. By way of saying something, I enquired where that was? "Why," answered she, pulling out her Bible from under her cloak," it is here, the 15th chapter of Job and the 14th verse, and to the first-mentioned this verse is added: "How much more abominable and filthy is man, which drinketh in iniquity like

(a) Jerem. xvi. 16, 21. (b) Isaiah xlii. 22. (c) Isaiah ii. 10, 19; vii. 19.