MAGDALENA'S VOYAGES AND TRAVELS.

Part II.

CHAPTER I.

The Boat gets adrift-Magdalena is carried far out to sea-Her perilous condition and soul agony-Night comes on-The death-bed scene of Mr. Markwell harrows her feelings-Searches the Scriptures at day-break— Self Righteousness;_ is tempted to throw herself into the ocean-Black ships in the offing-Espies the white mountains-Approaches the shore and lands-The New Kingdom-The First Prayer-Provision amongst the Rocks-Sleeps in a Cavern Murmur of Rebellion springs up— Despair, and the blast of the terrible one; Suicide A female is seen leaping among the Rocks, and vanishes out of sight-Magdalena sits down and weeps.

YEARS have rolled by, since I penned the preceeding history. I look back with wonder and amazement at that important period of my days, when my blind eyes were opened; the eyes of my understanding enlightened, and the veil rent from my hard heart. LORD, teach me to magnify Thy name, and to adore Thee for Thine unspeakable, and till Thou didst impart the wish and desire, Thine unsought and unasked for mercies! agreeably to Thine own Word, "I am found of them that sought me not." Isaiah lxv. 1.

I broke off my history at the point where I fell down insensible in the boat. Whether the cord which attached it to the stake was loosened or broken by the jerk, I know not; but on my recovering my senses, I found myself alone, and far out at sea, amidst the deep waters of the ocean. The stars gave a faint light, and there was but a little breeze; and these things were all I had for my comfort, with respect to my situation. But the exceeding danger and great peril of my immortal soul, if I perished in the state I felt I was in, was more to me than any other con

sideration. How shall I express what I saw of the desperate character of my rebellion against my GOD, when His Word had so long been in my possession, and I had made so little use of it? And what little I did know, I disregarded, or twisted, and perverted, to suit my own purpose. O, what a God of power and majesty did GOD ALMIGHTY appear! What an awful Judge! I quaked and shook under a sense of the first, and I dreaded His severe impartiality in the second character! I was in terror at the danger of my poor body; but I was in greater terror at the imminent danger of my soul, in case that my body should be summoned away at a moment's warning. My children, even my wounds, and these I felt, as both deep and wide, were nothing in comparison of my soul's agonies. I cried out at intervals, with clasped hands, "LORD, teach me to pray! LORD, tell me how to ask Thee for mercy, for such a wretch as I am! LORD, be merciful unto me a sinner!" And then, having uttered such ejaculations, I began to wring my hands and to weep, and to accuse myself for this sore judgment which had now befallen me, and which would, in all probability, end in my death, when the boat should dash against some rock, or by some sudden squall of wind, be upset.(a)

But towards morning it grew light, and even then I fancied I saw the shore, or some high mountains, as they appeared to me, and I believe I was right; but I was still tossed to and fro amidst the rush and gush of waters, of large, deep and heavy billows, sore troubled and distressed; with no food, save one biscuit in my bag, which I ate, not because I was hungry, but because I thought I ought to take something to prevent my soul from sinking, and partly to distract, for a few moments, my thoughts; but oh, who can tell the chaos of my mind! All was indeed dark, bewildered and disordered. The words "Adam, where art thou?" rang in mine ears, as if some one was calling out from the depths of the ocean unto me. "Where, indeed!" I answered, with a groan from my inmost soul. "Oh that I could hide myself as Adam did, and yet he could not hide himself so closely but that God could find him. The garden of Paradise was not so large, but that God knew all its windings; the ocean is

(a) Lamentations iii. 13.

not so wide, but that GOD can see this speck, my poor body, floating thus in this frail bark, nor is the smaller speck of my poor soul so minute, but that GOD can behold that black and smoky spark, the spark well nigh quenched and drowned in the wet ashes of sin! Oh, my soul! my soul! Yea, I know I have a soul. But what! Oh did not my dying husband speak of eternity! Yet what cared I for eternity; an old fashioned word in the dictionary and in the old Homilies my Aunt Formal made me read occasionally. But who in fashionable society would like to hear about his immortal soul, and eternity after time?—And where is my fashion now ?-And what can society do for me now?—And where are my amusements now?-Why the LORD has warned me over and over, and has afflicted me again and again, and delivered me ever and anon, and yet I went on blind, daring, bold, rebellious. Did He not warn me, by His silver arrow, to turn to Him, and did not I plunge deeper and deeper in amusement and distractions to smother up all my convictions, and stifle His Voice? Oh, I am a very wretch. Yea, this Bible says so; and I'll try and find it out."

And thus I took the Scriptures from one of my pockets, and opened it at this place, "If ye transgress I will scatter you abroad among the nations." (a) "There!" cried I, and shut the book, wringing my hands in despair, "God speaks in that verse to me; I have transgressed, and I am scattered already, indeed, and tossed on this ocean. Suppose I should land on the DESERTS OF ZIN, or SIN; I dare say the right word is Sin, but alas! every thing is distorted in this world. Oh, it is an unsatisfying world. I wish I could die; and yet! oh dreadful thought! I would not die for worlds. What a state is my wretched soul in for death. If I could but live and be saved from this great danger, how I would live! I would do a thousand good deeds for GOD, and I would be as holy as the hermits on those mountains. Oh, I would be so submissive to the will of God."

Here I found a moment's ease in reckoning up what I would do, if the LORD would deliver me once more, and in this somewhat more composed state I went on thus:

"But I am not a heathen. I believe in GOD, and the Son, and

(a) Nehem. i. 8.

the HOLY GHOST, and they certainly do not. I say my prayers and go to church on Sunday, and have given away a considerable sum in charities. I have done all the good I could, and GOD is too merciful to require us to do more. Besides He says, 'My people,' all through the Bible, and my people,' means those that are circumcised in old time, or baptized into the true faith in the new, and thus I must be of the people of GOD." (a)

Somewhat comforted, I now opened my Bible again, and fell on this passage in Job: "But thou hast fulfilled the judgment of the wicked: judgment and justice take hold on thee. Because there is wrath, beware lest He take thee away with His stroke: then a great ransom cannot deliver thee. Will He esteem thy riches? no, not gold, nor all the forces of strength."

"Oh dear," thought I," why then GOD refuses all my works and will have none of them. Why I am a very wretch, unfit to live, and yet I am unfit to die. hand of GoD as Cain was. Gen. iv. 15. And He has set a mark on me, and now, perhaps, the angels are looking down and laughing at me, and all good men who are dead and happy in heaven, may be rejoicing to see me suffer, because they surely think I deserve it. Lazarus in heaven had no pity for the rich man in hell. Why Judas went and hanged himself; it were easy to drown here; it were but a leap, and I am done with for ever!"

Why I am marked by the very 'The LORD set a mark upon Cain.'

Here I shuddered and shut my eyes, and held by the boat, lest the horrid passing thought should go further. By a violent effort I seized my Bible, gasping with horror and dismay, to see if I could catch a word. And this verse presented itself: "And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die."

And hereupon my heart was softened, and my bosom swelled as with a tempest of feelings indescribable, and tears rolled down my cheeks, and I sobbed and looked up, and most earnestly and vehemently cried, "Oh that Thou wouldest have mercy upon me! Oh that Thou wouldest bid even me to hope for mercy! Why David sinned, and is yet called holy David, and David had par

(a) Matthew v. 20. Romans ii. 28, 29.