CHAPTER VI.

The amusement afforded by Zillah's pointed remarks-Disagreement between Magdalena and her husband-Mr. Markwell's dissipation, and its painful results-The Missionary Ship- One of the arrows of brass, shot from the vessel, wound Mr. M.-Surgeon Drownthought, and his worldly advice and treatment-Carnal Man's River-Arrival in Morality TownMagdalena finds that her parents have taken up their residence in this spot, in their old age- Her visit to them-Excursion to the Mountains of the Virtues-Entry into Motive Town-Characteristic Histories of some Professors staying here-Departure for Profession Town.

I WAS so amused with the aforesaid conversation that I wrote it down, and, altering the real names, read it to several of my acquaintances. They were all highly delighted with the girl's excessive insolence, and I remarked, that the parties who were actually spoken of, were more entertained by their own characters, not in the least degree supposing they were their very own likenesses, than with any other part of the dialogue. They frequently interrupted me with "Ah! who did she mean by that? I dare say she alluded to Mrs. or Lady So and so." My husband and I laughed a great deal over these curious mistakes, and we, being pressed, revealed the real names of several persons alluded to, under promise of secresy, which was, however, only held sacred a day. The thing was talked of every where and was improved by representation, till at length the whole story was seized by a wit who lived by sarcasm, was thrown into poetry, and circulated privately as a good joke. It created me several bitter enemies, and caused me no little vexation. However, I had, at the end of the three months we staid in Jezebella, matters of a more serious nature to attend to, which I shall proceed to relate.

True it was, as Zillah hinted, that I had had some misunderstanding with dear Mr. Markwell, which had caused my tears to flow more than once, as she said. The fact was, that several disagreeable men from Fool Town came to Jezebella while we were there, and renewing an acquaintance, drew my husband into a sort of society I always dreaded, namely, gamblers; not that I minded playing guinea points myself at whist, but I made it a rule never to go beyond that sum, and I hated betting more than a few pounds; but my husband rather liked to exceed in these things, and certainly he lost considerable sums before I was

aware how, and with whom he lost them. But, when I found out that he accompanied these men to the clubs and gambling-houses, I became alarmed, and had some very serious conversations with him, entreating and begging him to give up the acquaintance of these men. He was vexed at my remonstrances, and charged me with desiring to curtail all his recreations and amusements; harsh words passed between us, and our little pages, who were not the less busy, because I have not particularly named them, provoked us against each other, till I certainly did give vent to my feelings in tears; and there the subject for a time dropped. But at the end of three months, for which period we had engaged the house; I could plainly see he was not easy in his mind; I dreaded to ask questions, and one evening when he was very low spirited, I urged him to take a walk on the large wooden bridge, which, by the bye, opened to let vessels under a certain tonnage go up the river, and in the cool of the day formed a promenade and fashionable lounge. We had not been there ten minutes when we saw a crowd of persons assembled on one side, leaning over the balustrade and laughing. (a) We enquired what was the amusement; "Oh! only a Missionary Ship," said a person whom I knew," and the priest is holding forth." "Oh! do, my dear, let's go and listen to what the fanatic says," said I, pulling him by the arm. "I have often heard of these ships, but I never saw one yet. I understand the men on board are the strangest beings one can conceive to listen to." We drew near to the balustrade. My husband fixed his eyes on the speaker, heard him utter a few words, and felt himself struck a blow on the right shoulder. He gave an exclamation, and seizing my arm to prevent falling, tottered away to the other end of the promenade, there calling a hackney chariot, I had him conveyed home, and dreadfully alarmed, I ran myself for a doctor. (1)

I soon procured a medical man, and strange to say, his name was DROWNTHOUGHT, putting us in mind of the very neighbourhood of our first disaster. He was an eminent surgeon, and he proceeded to examine the wound. He found a small arrow, about four inches long and quite perfect, apparently of brass, on which were inscribed these words: "Adam! where art thou ?" (c) I was greatly struck with the arrow, the wound, the whole transaction; and I earnestly questioned the surgeon upon it when he

(a) Isaiah lix. 15. (b) Luke vi. 25; Proverbs i. 26.

(c) Psalm vii. 13.

skilfully drew out the instrument, saying it was but a mere scratch and would soon be well.

"Why, Madam, thus it is,

remarked he, "there is a set of persons calling themselves by lofty titles. They go about in vessels of different sizes, they call these vessels big or little "Vessels of Mercy;" they all have the same flag and talk pretty much the same thing. They go about our coasts and even land occasionally to seek for any idlers who will listen to their prating. A sort of enthusiasts, whom our governments have tried over and over to put down, but somehow they cannot yet manage it, though they have at various periods enacted laws to depress and if possible clear the seas of these pestilent fellows." (a)

"But how very spiteful of them to wound people who condescend to listen to them," said I. "Surely, Mr. Drownthought, they ought to be put down, and imprisoned, and their vessels burnt." "Why, Madam, we can have but one opinion on that point as regards the nuisance; but these people declare they do not cast the arrow; (b) they have been searched on landing, and no article offensive or defensive has been found in their pockets, save a Bible; (c) but the riddle is this, that as they speak, these arrows fly. The fellows themselves say, it is what they expect, and pray for, but they all deny that they have the power of shooting one." (d)

"Oh dear, Mr. Drownthought," exclaimed I, "you quite frighten me. What! if I should be shot myself? Why I would go to the end of the world rather than run such a risk!” “You need not mind these arrows, Madam," replied he, taking a pinch of snuff. "I have had several patients wounded by them who have been placed under my care. I recommend entire forgetfulness of the whole transaction, amusement, diversion, and a certain efficacious draught, of a soporific nature, named "Lull," (e) and all is soon right again."

"But do these arrows never cause death?" asked my poor husband, who was moaning piteously in his chair with pain and depression of spirits, and I may add, terror. "My dear Sir, are you really serious?" asked the surgeon, rising. "No, no, my good Sir, we treat these things very lightly, our patients never die of these wounds. Let me recommend you quiet this night,

(a) John xv. 21. (b) Psalm xlv. 5.
(d) Ephes. vi. 11; Hebrews iv. 12.

(c) 2 Corinth, x. 4. (e) Jerem. li. 57.

to-morrow I will see you, and expect to find you well enough to order you a drive in the Park.","My dear Madam, good night." So saying, he gently pressed my hand, dexterously caught his fee, bowed, and stepped down stairs to his carriage, which had been sent after him to our door. (a)

All this was very grand, but I did not find it so easy to pacify my poor husband as our medical man appeared to think I should. He sighed and moaned, and accused himself of squandering his fortune and mine; called himself names, and cried like a child. I endeavoured, by every argument I could, to pacify him. I told him he had been a kind, indulgent husband, a loving father, a good master, a faithful friend. I said his one failing, I meant propensity to gambling, was a mere shade in his character; that his losses, whatever they might be, would be a useful lesson; that we could go and live in retirement for a while, till we recovered the shock in mind and estate; that, finally, we might do very well with a more limited income than we had had, &c., &c. To all which he only replied by sighs and tears, and self-accusations, and terrors at this new wound, while the old one was scarce healed over. () To be short with this part of my story, we packed up the day after; and the morning after that, to my husband's great relief, were on the road to the CITY OF MORALITY, a long way off 'tis true, but travelling in civilized lands is safe and sure, and except the weariness of journeying among the mountains, which we had to do in our road, we experienced few inconveniences. We passed through several large towns in our route, merely staying one night in each, and after a long and very hurried journey, reached the ferry on the tenth day. We crossed Carnal Man's River near its mouth, and entered Morality about three in the afternoon. (c)

We went to an hotel, and I immediately despatched a messenger to my father's house to enquire after their welfare, and to apprise my parents that we intended to pay them a visit of a few days. The waiter came back and told me that my father would be glad to see me alone. I went in a little hired carriage, and with deep emotion, for I had not seen my parents since their removal to this city, or since my marriage; alas! I only found one parent, my father. My sweet mother died while we were in slavery, and the letters I had written to her from Jezebella, of (a) Micah vii. 3. (b) Job vi. 4. (c) Isaiah lix.6.

course, she knew not of. My father was almost in his dotage: he was married again to our old cook, who looked confused enough, at first, on seeing me, but afterwards became consequential and talkative. She said my brother Joseph was an archdeacon of some cathedral, she forgot what; that my sister had married á gentleman also high in the church, and was gone she knew not whither. She added that the house was not half finished and was not fit to receive us, and hinted that we had better stay at the hotel. With a heavy heart I took her advice and returned to the inn, relating my sorrowful news to Mr. Markwell, who felt greatly for my distress at the melancholy tidings of my family.

We went into deep mourning for my beloved mother, and I sought out her tombstone, in the church-yard of the parish in which she resided, to weep over it, feeling assured that her virtues had carried her to heaven. (a) My sorrow, however, abated in a few days, and we were able to take an excursion on mules up to the high mountains of THE VIRTUES, a great chain which runs all across the vast kingdom of CONVICTION LAND, to see several wonderful hermits, who had lived on herbs and water for twenty years. One had chiselled out apartments for himself in the high rock, and it was wonderful to behold how perfectly every part of the rooms were marked out. There were fire places, chimney pieces, shelves, steps, the whole the labour of twenty years. Another hermit had scratched out rooms with his nails, in the earth on the mountain, which had never been cut for so many years. Another had sat for that period on a point of the mountain, and never lying down, his body had grown into a sitting posture, which could never be changed. () We all knelt to these holy men for their blessing, being impressed with awe and wonder at their great devotion. They gave the required benediction, but never raised their pale worn out countenances from the ground on which they sat. We all shed tears as we descended the mountains, at such distinguished piety, and agreed, that if any person could enter heaven, these pious hermits certainly would. We then visited several convents, and saw beautiful young women shut up, devoted to God. We were awed into reverence at these sights, and could not help wishing we were as fit for death as they. (e)

But, alas! my dear husband's health still declined; and it was

(a) Proverbs xxi. 16.

(b) Isaiah xliv. 20.

(c) Matt. vii. 23; Luke xvi. 15.