ture will produce no more effect than the casualties of an hospital related in the style of a newspaper. In cases, therefore, where a fracture, either simple or compound, is not sufficient to prevent the opposition of flinty-hearted parents, lower the jealousy of rivals, soften the asperities of rich old uncles or guardians, and prevent those dreadful and complicated misunderstandings, which often protract matters to a third and fourth volume, it has of late been usual to attempt a reconciliation by means of a brain-fever. It has already been remarked, that the first thought of every thing of the kind is always the best; and therefore, although the dangers of disappointed love are still frequently averted by bringing the hero or heroine near death's-door, or the gate of St. Luke's, yet there is a sameness in our deliriums, which have brought them into disrepute, and seem to confirm what the poet Lee once said, "That any man might write like a fool, but a genius only could write like a madman." The mere introduction of broken and incoherent sentences and thoughts will not do the business, and are indeed too apt to interfere with the general style of the work. I have thus sketched, I will not say a complete apology, but the outlines of an excuse for the barrenness of those compositions called Novels, Romances, and Tales. Whether it be possible to remedy the evil, must be left to the conjectures of my Readers, who also may consider whether that remedy is to be effected by lessening the demand, or increasing the value of the article. I do not, however, mean to submit this to the whole of my Readers, but only to the dealers in the article, because they must be the best judges of a matter, which perhaps none but themselves will ever think it worth while to investigate. THE PROJECTOR. No 88. "Knowledge dwells In heads replete with thoughts of other men: COWPER. November 1808. 66 SIR, 66 "TO THE PROJECTOR. ALTHOUGH I have been a reader of your lucubrations from their commencement, I do not just now recollect whether you have touched upon a very common source of uneasiness in private life, which certainly merits your attention. If you have not, I hope the few hints which I now take the liberty to send, will at least serve as outlines, when you shall find leisure to handle the subject in your own way. "There are no complaints more common than those which are directed against persons who are for ever meddling with matters in which they have little or no concern, and who seem to be wonderfully attentive to every business but that which properly belongs to them. If this disorder, for such I may call it, seizes the master or mistress of a family, we may be sure that that family will be neglected, in their zeal to take upon them the management of their neighbours' concerns; and while they are employed in keeping a-going the machinery of others, their own is allowed to stand still. "This whimsical taste seems to arise either from a consciousness of their own superiority, and consequently an opinion that they are better able to give advice than those to whom they offer it; or from a certain degree of curiosity, which can never be satiated unless they know what is going on in streets and houses where they have no concern or interest. It creates, therefore, newsmongers and gossips, public or private reformers, retailers of political intelligence or private scandal, sometimes adapted to the columns of a newspaper, and sometimes to the party at a tea-table. And those who indulge this longing after matters of less importance to themselves than to their neighbours, may be divided into two parties, male and female; the former superintending the affairs of an empire or a kingdom, the other confining themselves to the transactions of a street or an alley. "As to the regulators of political affairs, they have so often been treated by you and your predecessors, that I shall make no attempt to add to what has been observed on their extreme anxiety for the proper conduct of courts and ministers, while shops and warehouses are neglected. But the other class, confined to matters of a domestic kind, who are perpetually meddling with what does not belong to them, seem yet to demand your attention, because whatever mischief they occasion by their illtimed interference, poor souls! they meant it all for the best, and would not have said one word, if they had thought that it would do harm.' "I know not, Sir, how it happens; but, in all my intercourse in life, I have had repeated occasion to observe that nearly as much mischief is done by your well-meaning people, as by those who commit an injury with full purpose and intent. Whether it be that those who mean well do not understand their own meaning, or whether they conceal what they mean from other people, it is certain that the schemes of no Projectors fail so frequently; and no class of friendly interferers meet with |