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366 Instances of Gluttony at Ordinaries and public Feafts. July extremities, buríted into the room down together on equal terms, and about eleven o'clock, and, after both eat as christians. chewing on the bill of fare, as long During the last war in Germany, as a proctor's bill, seemingly much there was an officer much more dirdistrefied which of the articles to tinguished for his execution at table choose, he ordered rump itakes than in the field. Whenever any and oyster sauce for two," pronoun- thing scarce or nice was brought to cing the last word with an emphasis. dinner, it was with difficulty his broMy friend and I, though we could ther officers could partake. Finding not help wondering a little at his cal. all hints of his ill manners ineffectual, ling for so heavy a supper, were not they had recourse to the following surprised at the quantity, concluding fcheme. It being a custom with the that he expected a companion, but officer, on account of the weather, to our astonisiment was great indeed, dine bald headed; one day, when a when we law him devour the whole, fine turtle was brought to table, the though a very good allowance for company procured a black boy, who two, and that with incredible dif- usually attended behind his chair, to patch. After this we hould not have ttrew a little pounded sugar now and wondered, if he had ordered a pail then upon the crown of his head, full of punch, but be washed down which presently caking by means of his supper with about a quart of small the sun, the flies came in' swarms to beer, paid his reckoning, and, to our feed on it, and gave him continual great pleasure, waddled to a coach employment, for as soon as he had which had been brought for him to the buffeted them away, the plaguy indoor.
sects returned again to their luscious This extraordinary spectacle brought banquet. This witty device to my mind much such another I once practised with the desired success till faw at an ordinary at Turnham the end of the campaign. Green. After taking the whole of But, Sir, if any one would see glut. the sweetbread from the breast of veal, tony in all (if I may be allowed the exone of the guests had the modesty to pression) its glory, he must step into help his wife, whom he had placed the city, and take a dinner at some of with himself at the head of the table, the hospital feasts, or livery festivals. to the entire breast of the goose, ob To those who have not been wit. liquely telling the company, “ his nesses of the fact, it will seem incredispouse had been monstroully fond of ble to what excess some members of that part ever since she was a child." the corporation eat on these occasions. There were, beside these dishes, a My observation and astonilhment hav. Jarge edgebone of beef, quarter of ing been often attracted by a certain Janib, and two fruit pies, and if I was common-council-man, remarkable for to say that this gormandizer ate to the his rotundity of body, I determined value of more than five shillings, I am to take, at some feftival or other, an fure I should not exceed the truth. exact account of every thing he hould The company were not surprised to happen to swallow under the denomihear hiin say after dinner, that he nation of a dinner, and accordingly, had “ dined at all the ordinaries in at an anniversary feast of the goand about London."
vernors of Bridewell Hospital, I put I was once intimately acquainted my design into execution. I beg with an immoderate ester, and fool leave, Sir, to present you with it, enough to take a month's tour with assuring you, that whatever appearhim into the country. I say fool ance it may have, it is made out with enough, Sir, because I was every day great truth and accuracy. disgusted with his voracity. An expedient however at length occurred to Memorandum of what Mr. J-Hme to render it lefs dilagreeable. I consumed at bis dinner on a Bridemade him agree to eat, previous to
well Hospital annual venison feasi. every meal, Tuch a quantity of food Two plates of mock turtle. as would bring down his appetite on a
Some salmon trout. par with mine, so that we mighi fit
SECOND COURSE. yet, when the waiters came to clear
angrily told them “ they were in a Marrow.pudding.
confounded hurry, and swore he Codling tart creamed.
would knock some of them down if Prawns.
they did not get him some ice cream," One small custard.
adding withal, “ it is damned hard, DE SER T.
a body can't dine at these here places Some blamange.
in comfort." Two jellies.
Give me leave to assure you, Sir, One plate of rafberries, thoroughly that it is not in my disposition to cast soaked in wine.
any wanton ridicule on the citizens Two slices of a melon. And of London. As a corporate body I some cheese.
honour and esteem them, but confiLeaving the quantity quite out of dering them individually, I cannot the question, we inult mudder when help thinking that very few indeed we reflect on the horrid mafs, the con can say with Solon, “ other men live folidation of such a number of hetero- that they may eat, but I eat only that geneous articles must have formed in I may live;" and I must also take the this glutton's paunch, especially when liberty to think, that eating and we take into consideration their auxi- drinking is much more attended to at liaries, such as lobster sauce, currant their public festivals, than sociablejelly, melted butter, oil and vinegar, ness and good manners, muttard, sugar, and small beer: and
On Plots against Government. NDER a wise and patriotic admi- wished their mater to suppose himself such thing as a plot. When the prince from all affection for his people. Thus is milled; when he is taught to be having engroffed his confidence, they lieve, that he can' have an interest imposed on his credulity. Tlie reign feparate from that of his people; of Charles the Second exhibits a speciwhen he aims at governing by an aris men of this. The ministers encouratocracy, and, for this purpose, creates ged plotters. Plotting was then a peers by dozens, as the fun calls trade, and every villain became an mullirooms into existence from a informer, it being a furer way to thrive dunghill; when a parliament is the than taking the road. Moit true it creature of the minister, and the mi- is, that the plots set on foot by mi: nister is a mere vaffal of the crown; niftry have ever been of the incredible when such is the miserable itate of a kind. They have abounded with country, a plot may exist. This was improbabilities, like that lately of Mr. the state of England under that obfti. Richardson's concerning Mr. Sayre. pate fool fames the Second. The, The Meal-tub plot, the Band-box plot, plot of the Revolution sent him about the Screw.pin plot, were so many his business. We have nothing to names for fictitious contrivances, to ruin fear, but every thing to hope, from a set of men obnoxious to the mini. the present monarch. No dianger is iters. Some of those plots failed. O. therefore to be apprehended from a thers succeeded. Sonie were of the plot. If the ministry, and those who melancholic, others of the mirthful besiege his majesty's person, do not kind. In the reign of Henry the Semean to bring about a revolution, the venth, there was a contrivance, entipeople are perfectly content with their tied the Cod-fih plot. It was worked present situation. They are convinced, up from the following circundance. that they never Mall be more free, An obnoxious opposer of the court never-more happy.
was seized like Mr. Sayre. Amongtt Under a bad administration, plots is papers there was found a letter have frequently been encouraged by from a friend in Kent, returning the ministry themselves. They have thanks for the receipt of " a fine
Cod-fish, and a barrel of oysters." This time preparing for the invasion of was carried to the minister. He dif- England. The cod-fifb could therefore covered a treasonable meaning in the only mean that impostor. The barletter. He argued thus. It was ridi. rel of oysters meant the army which he culous to send cod-fish and oysters into designed to bring over with him. Kent, that county abounding with All this was confirmed by an exprerall sorts of fish. The oysers and the fion in the letter, " That the cod-fif cod-fijb must therefore mean something and oysters came - very reasonably." else. Perkin Warbeck was at that
On new Peerages, with a Bon Mot THE multiplicity of new creations, could not effectually aslift him. · They
considered in a political light, had not any weight with the people. is a measure of absurdity.
As the power of the nobles declined Unless honours are the rewards of through the increase of their numbers, public services, they are so many the power of the commons arose with bribes to strengthen the power of the the increase of their spirit. Thus was
If the fe bribes are scattered James defeated in his end by being with too lavish an hand, the very mistaken in his means. purpose for which they are conferred, Our courtiers are all historians. is defeated. The design of creating Our ministers are extremely well verpeers, is to increase the number of sed in the state papers of every reign. friends. But, in proportion as the If they would but profit by their read. peerage is enhanced in an overgrown ing, it would much advantage the degree, the dignity of nobility is lef- king. If the minister wished to desened. Titles cease to be respectable, grade the peerage, he could not do when they are become common. it more effectually, than by advising
When James the First ascended the his majesty to multiply creations withthrone of England he scattered coro out any public reason for the deed. nets amongst his followers, as children One advantage, judeed, may accrue do play-things amongst their fellows. to the nation. The numbers of the He increased the peerage, that he nobility will be increased to such a might multiply friends, and establish" degree, that it will be with the uthimself more 'firmly on the throne, most difficulty, we shall recollect their This king was esteemed a wise man. He names. When this happens, an office bad some virtue, and a larger portion may bé erected, wherein the people of learning than falls to the share may be taught an art to help weak of princes. Yet he was deceived memories, to an accurate knowledge in this, as in every thing else, by of the names of the nobility. his advisers. The multiplicity of The very numerous creation of Irish creations brought on his disgrace. Ti peerages brings to remembrance a tles were so plentiful, that they became bon mot, of Harwood the famous cheap in the eyes of the vulgar. Irish counsellor :-Passing through They lost their dignity. Their power Drogheda, he called upon his friend declined of course. It was esteemed the mayor, who was by trade a gro. more honourable to be devoid of title.
cer: How fares my old friend ? says The appellation of a commoner bespoke the counsellor ;-Oh! by my shoul, respect. The title of lord implied never worse! Why what's the matter? nothing more than court-vaffalage, “ How the devil ihall I fell my cheese time-serving obsequiousness. Quali- and butter, now the duke of Dorset ties sufficiently infamous to excite has made me a knight?" " Poh! poh! conteinpt.
says Harwood, hold your tongue, you By these impolitic creations, James old fool ; by Jasus ! you're very well lost that affistance of the nobility, he off, that he did not make you 2 was taught to expect. The nobles lord!"
For the LONDON MAGAZINE.
On the Conviet AET. A
reflection on this reign there is will not be long endured. English. Scarcely a single act of parliament, men, in their most degenerate con. which ministry have passed, but what dition, are designed for a better hath been pregnant with absurdities. fate.
The Convict Act is erroneous in its. If the Convict Act was justifiable origin; impolitic in its end; imprac. in its origin, and politic in its end, ticable in its execution.
the execution of it is utterly imprace, The troubles in America gave ex
ticable. Who are to be the overseers istence to the Convict Act. As the of the galley flaves ? Out of what colonies would not receive ous felons, fund are those overseers to be paid ministıy determined wholly to lay aside their respective salaries? Who is to the mode of transportation. Because provide lighters for the galley Naves 'we could not rend cargoes of scoun- to work in? Who is to pay for the drels to America, administration de- irons which are to chain them togetermined, for the sake of preserving ther? The act declares, that such the breed, to keep them at home. and such materials shall be provided ; This was a flagrant error. The pu- but it leaves the mode of providing nishment of transportation should have and the payment when provided, to been continued. The place only the hand of chance-the only exeshould have been changed. Instead cutor of measures which originate in of sending convicts to America, they ignorance ! should have been transported to the A volume might be filled ; a month Eaft Indies. The company would might be engrossed in commenting on thus have been furnimed with a body the grofs absurdities with which the of soldiery. There would not have Convict Act abounds. Informer been any occasion for crimps and kid- reigns, acts of parliament were penned nappers to trepan the unwary, or with accuracy. Being general laws, seduce the industrious. A regular they were so drawn up as to be genesupply of able-bodied men would rally understood. They were calculahave been drafted as it were to our ted, in a manner, to execute themAsiatic fettlements. The number of selves. The reverse is now the case, executions would have decreased. Scarcely a law has passed one month, No such thing as hanging for a return before the judges are requested to exa from transportation, would ever have plain the meaning of that law. Am. happened. A convict, once safely biguity, abounds, where perfpicuity landed in India, would have found mould be the most apparent. *It is a an escape to . England impossible. sufficient fatire on the abilities of our The impoffibility of succeeding would miniftry to say, that, as itatesmen, have deterred him from the attempt, they enact laws which cannot be exHe might have become industrious ecuted. If one, out of a multiplicity through contraint, and honest thro' of instances of this kind, is called for, necessity.
I will refer to the Convict Act. The As far as a comprehensivė plan of will shortly take place. It has passed policy is concerned, the Convict Act into a law. It will affect the liberties is altogether impolitic. What end of millions.--Let it be executed if it can be attained, in the least degree, can. If it hall be found impracticable contributive to the welfare of the 'in the executior, the framers, connationThe light of an Englishman, trivers, and abettors of such an act, transformed into a galley Nave, is deserve, for their stupidity, a little humiliating. Without arrogating to wholesome Aagellation. myself the spirit of prophecy, I will July 17.6.
3 3 B
To the EDITOR of the LONDON MAGAZINE.
Description of a new Academy at Paris.
MONG the addiries which pre Ą late French traveller, and no the eyes of a ftranger in this fluttering the absurdities of the signs in London, city, I have been highly entertained without perceiving that they are much with one in particular, _. e. the aca. more absurd in Paris ; but the latter demy for teachingthe art of femalebair. is in every respect superior to London, dreling according to the present high for in Paris we often see a fellow fit. gout. In my walks I have seen several ting in a box fomething like a cobler's of these, where a large room, with its stall, who calls himself a scrivener, contents, is laid open to public view, and writes for the benefit of the lower and wherein you lee a great nuinber order of people who have not learnt of the dirtielt female drabs the Aseets that art. Juit opposite to me is one afford, hired to fit (as we phrase it) of these learned men, but he informs not for their pictures, but their pa: the world that he writes for Princes tience, and to have their heads and et Seigneurs. their hair twisted and turned about Now I am upon this fubject I mult in various forms, according to the mention another fort of figo very fre. taste of the operator, Some of these quent in Paris. There are living ladies in bigh dress have been so won heads, generally of the female gender, derfully picturesque, that I have more which are hung out from the second, than once been in danger of breaking third, and fourth stories, who are a blood vessel; nor is it less entertain- taught to say, when they see an Englithing to observe, with what aftonilh- man, Sairi, Sair-Porcbe, Ponchement and delight some of them seem pritte Garl, and some such other invi. to look into the glass under their ele- ting words; for punch and a pretty girl gant coiffuse. Yet I must confess I are two strong temptations to an Ën. have seen others who have exhibited glidman at Paris, and though it may well bred faces, and looked, full as be a great way up, he need not trouble like women of fashion as their betters ; himself about getting down, as that a look which no dress can give to a is often effected by means of the fame low educated woman of our nation. window from whence the sign was hung
When a head is finished, the whole out, for where houses are so high, and chamber of artists examine the work- freets so very narrow, it is no very manship, and after each bas given his caly matter to guess fruin which house opinion, the pyramid is thrown down, or what window the body was thrown, and re-erected by some other ttu nor indeed does that much bignify, as dent.
the friends or relations of the deceased Before I have well recovered from will be sure to find it ready stript at the foreness and a fit of coughing, a bone house near the river-side, which laughing is apt to produce on which is opened for the reception of me, my eyes are itruck with two the unclaimed dead. golden angels sounding trumpets, and Now if it should be said, and no which, in the joint actions of dying and doubt it will, that such stuff as this walking, support their trumpets with is a sign that I have very little to one hand, each holding a well comb. do, I answer, it is my province to „¢d peruke in the other. By this you write fuch Auff, for what else can you will perceive, Mr. Editor, ibat the expect from head and the hair are the two main objects of a Frenchman's attention. Paris, Jung 12. A WANDERER.
TO THE LADIES.
an admirer of your sex, henfons relative to the prefent mode to convey through the medium of of head dress. a magazine, his thoughts and appre I mean not to admonilta; that would 5