if he could make a discovery, would not-being, probably well contented with his free, luxurious living and easilyearned salary, and, consequently, being resolved to keep up the farce, and postpone, for as long a period as possible, the inevitable day, when he must throw off the gentleman and return to his pepper-and-salt clothing, and vulgar plated jewelry.

About this time an alarming epidemic broke out in My Hotel. It attacked men and women indiscriminately, but few or no children suffered. It was at

tended by sundry singular symptoms, among which, the most common were sighs, loss of appetite, rolling up of the eyes, and a tendency to write bad poetry, and seek for the society of an individual of the opposite sex. In some cases, where two people of opposite sexes sought each other by some mutual attraction—which, in fact, was a very customary diagnosis of the epidemic the pain of both was relieved, though the violence of the disease rather increased. In other cases, where it happened that the person attacked could not obtain the sympathy of the particular individual towards whom he or she inclined, the details of suffering were often frightful-being attended with such an excess of sighing and wandering of intellect as might have moved a heart of stone. And what was most peculiar about the epidemic, was, that a physician was never called in, and the disease was generally suffered to run its course, until the last sad offices of the clergy were required.

This epidemic first attracted attention at a social ball, given by the proprietor to his guests in the house, and to a number of invited friends from without. Proprietor had argued that, if he went to some extra-expense in order to make us happy, other guests would be attracted into the house, and that thus his outlay would be amply paid back to him. And, accordingly, he hired a band, turned on extra lights, provided ample refreshments, and managed to make everything very pleasant and delightful. But, unfortunately, his schemes led to a result directly the reverse of what he had anticipated-no new boarders came into the house, and so many of the old ones were directly or indirectly carried off by the epidemic, that serious loss was entailed upon him. Some, upon being attacked, immediately

gave up their rooms, and undertook to gain relief by traveling and change of scene; others, principally of the male sex, surrendered high-priced apartments upon the second story, and ascended to low-priced ones in the uppermost story, whence they could look out misanthropically upon the waste of roofs, and feel abandoned by the world—while one lively and wealthy lady of an uncertain age, who had for years occupied a parlor and bedroom in the third floor front, at an enormous weekly expense, and had, moreover, been profuse in the matter of extras, was so violently attacked, that she never fully recovered; and happening to encounter sympathy in one of the opposite sex, she left the establishment altogether, and now resides in Twenty-fifth street.

As one whose system had, by repeated shocks, been thoroughly hardened against this epidemic, I stood by, a calm and disinterested spectator; and. by dint of close observation, was soon enabled to gain a complete and accurate knowledge of the diagnosis of the dis

ease.

At first, I perceived that the epidemic manifested itself in two different ways-in what physicians would have called a true and a false one—the latter being but light in its attacks, and readily yielding to change of air, temporary absence, or even a decided inability to gain the requisite amount of sympathy, while the former kind was generally fatal. And, after a few days, I began to distinguish these varieties from each other by an unfailing sign. It happened that the windows of the parlors of My Hotel were, at that time, decorated with very elegant curtains, the right hand curtain of each recess being composed of white lace, while the left hand curtain was formed of heavy crimson brocade. Noticing that a person, when attacked by the epidemic, usually drew some one of the opposite sex behind these curtains for some private conversation, I set myself to watch; and soon ascertained, as an unfailing rule, that a temporary seclusion behind the lace or right-hand curtain always indicated a light and passing attack, while a stolen interview behind the brocade, or left-hand curtain, was invariably followed by the most disastrous results.

How great, therefore, was my surprise, when, one evening, I detected my friend the bank-clerk snugly ensconced

behind this left-hand curtain! Had he been on the lace side, or in company with some giant belle, laden with jewelry, I should have thought little about it; but he was not only ensconced behind the darkest folds of the thick brocade, thus indicating the fatal nature of his attack, but his partner was a lively young girl of modest, unassuming demeanor, simple attire, and hardly reaching to his shoulder. It was evident that the Cupid who had hitherto controlled the preferences of my friend was absent or sick, and that another Cupid of different and more simple tastes had temporarily assumed the place.

As soon as I could entice my friend up into No. 783, I seated him at my table, poured out a glass of wine for him, and then demanded an explanation of what I had seen. My friend blushed up to his temples and drank his wine with an appearance of great agitation; and then, assuming an air of unwonted boldness, replied:

creased.

"Come now! I say! I

nder don't wait

know what business

any one has to call for any explanation felf from me-but I don't mind. an, It must all come out some ay, I suppose. Other young fellows are always getting married all round us, and there no reason why my turn shouldn't come too, you see. And the fact is, this hotel life is dreadfully lonely at times. especially just after dinner; and it would be quite the chalk to have a snug little house of my own, with some one ready to meet me when I come in, and domestic comfort, and all that sort of thing we're always reading about. Why not for me as well as for other people, I'd like to know."

Why not, indeed I thought. Though my friend was not brilliant, he had very fair average abilities, and he was rather prepossessing in his appearance, bore an excellent character, and enjoyed a tolerable salary, which, in the event of his marriage, would doubtless be inHowever, his father was well off, and he had excellent expectations from a rich maiden aunt in the country. And besides all that, the young lady, though probably able to assist him somewhat through her father, was not exactly what one would call an heiress, and consequently would not be very apt to hold her head too high and spurn a respectable alliance. I began to think that my friend was making a very good move in life, and that it was my duty to help him on.

In fact, I have always had a matchmaking propensity, which I believe I have inherited. The Inklespoons were generally good match-makers. Thero was my Aunt Esther, wife of the Rev. Thomas Allowby, of Carratville, for instance. She made half the matches in the place, and, as her husband was generally called in to tie the knot and she took the fees, it was commonly reported that she made a very good thing of it. Then there was my great uncle, Solon Inklespoon, who was wild upon

the subject. It is said that once, learning that a certain dissolute negro had been drowned, he persuaded the man's pretty mulatto wife to go right off and marry a promising young barber who had long admired her at a distance. By the time the ceremony had been fairly performed, some inconsiderate neighbors had brought the drowned man to life again; whence there arose considerable trouble and angry disputation as to whom she belonged. Some said that the lien of the first husband had never been lost, and that she should go back with him; others, and principally all the negroes of the town, argued, that, as he had been drowned, so, at the time of the second marriage, she had been actually a widow, and that the rights of the second husband could not be divested by the subsequent recovery of the first one. The whole matter turned upon the question whether a man is dead when he is drowned, I believe that, as the parties were too poor to go to law about it, the affair was finally compromised by the woman retaining both husbands.

Well, I concluded to assist my friend in his matrimonial plans, and thereto inquired how far the matter had advanced.

"Not very far," said he. "That is,

nothing is decided, you see, but I can tell very well that she likes me. They will not go back to Maryland till fall, so I shall have plenty of time. The only thing that bothers me is the old gentleman. It will be easy enough to speak to her when the right moment comes, but he is such a gruff old fellow that I am afraid of him. I say, when all is ready and agreed upon between her and me, will you talk it over to Mr. Sparhawk for me, and tell him what a good fellow I am, and how happy I could make his daughter, and how I can bring references, and all that, you know?"

I promised that I would do so.

"And you needn't talk to the other fellows about it, and set them laughing at me," he continued. "If you want to laugh at any one, take the Head Waiter. He's in love-he is."

"The Head Waiter?"

"Yes-smitten with some little colored girl that works about the building. He came to me and wanted me to write a love-letter for him."

"Which you did, of course?"

"Which I didn't," answered my friend. "You know I am not up to that sort of thing. But I referred him to you, and he said he would come this evening."

In fact, at that moment there was a knock at the door, and the Head Waiter entered. A more respectable and gentlemanly looking negro could not have been found, probably, in any hotel in the city. It was a sight to watch him come in at dessert, heading a long file of subordinate waiters-to mark the elegant set of his broadcloth suit, rendered more elegant by the gracefulness of his position as he stood at the head of the table and cast his eyes around upon his well-drilled regiment-to observe the solemnity with which he signaled with the little bell that the covers should be removed. Beside the true and lustrous gentility of the Head Waiter, the gentility of my own particular waiter appeared in its real light as a base and worthless counterfeit. The latter, by a pretentious condescension, would overawe and confuse usbut the former, by an easy yet deferen

tial familiarity, would inspire us with. respect and put us at our ease from the start.

Head Waiter was a universal favorite with all. He was liked by old gentlemen because he always attended so strictly to the icing of their sherryby old ladies, because he always saw that they had seats near the head of the table-by mothers, because he turned away his head and winked when they stole mottoes and oranges off the table to give to the children-by children, because he himself supplied them in the same manner with choice confectionery-and by young men, because he was such a gentlemanly fellow, that it was almost a distinction to be seen talking with him. In consequence of all this popularity, every festival was marked by a subscription for his benefit; and, as his regular wages were large, it was supposed that he ought to have saved up much money. There was a difference of opinion about this, however; some averring that he spent

all his income on kid gloves, while others knew for certain that he owned two houses on Long Island, and rented them at high rates to thriving clam-diggers.

"You were wanting to see me about writing something for you?" I remarked, as Head Waiter entered.

"Yes," responded Head Waiter, without the slightest embarrassment. "I am at this moment enamored of a young lady employed about this house, and, if agreeable to you, I would like to have my affections expressed in a suitable manner upon paper. I feel that a proposal by epistle will be more genteel than verbal communication. And I am not ashamed to own that I cannot write very well myself. I think that my hand has been spoiled by lifting covers."

"Well, sit down for a few minutes," I said; and, drawing up my writingcase, I wrote out a very fine and deliberate proposal of marriage-such an one, in fact, as I might have

written for myself. Head Waiter took it, looked it over, but did not seem very well satisfied.

"What is the matter?" said I.

"It is extremely beautiful, indeed," said Head Waiter; "but if you could introduce a little more fire, so to speak, and flattery, and—that is—and glow of expression, I think that—"

66

ure."

Certainly!" I said; "with pleas

And I wrote a new letter, in which I introduced every figure and conceit which affection could invent— praised each individual feature of the beloved one with the most extravagant adulation; scattered flame and passion broadcast in every line; and, finally, wound up with a most flourishing and sentimental tender of heart and hand. Even Lamartine could not have put into the mouth of his most ardent lover a more glowing and impassioned declaration. And, of course, Head Waiter was delighted, thanked me a thousand times, and declared that he could have no doubt of a successful result.

"By the way," said I, as he moved toward the door, "any news of the late robberies?"

"None as yet," answered Head Waiter, "though we trust to get at it before long. I have been inclined to suspect Sam, who waited at your table, and left us last week. Not that I know anything against him in particular, but you may not be aware that he comes of low blood. His father blacked boots in the street, at three cents a pair, while my father kept a respectable hair-dressing saloon, and never charged less than a shilling."

With that, Head Waiter moved majestically out of the room, while my friend, the bank-clerk, remained behind, to go into convulsions. And, two days afterwards, Head Waiter informed my friend, as one who had a right to know, that the flaming love letter had accomplished its work, and that the marriage would take place that evening. The wedding, however, was to be private; since, as Head Waiter justly argued, the proprietor of My Hotel might not like married people for assistants, while, as long as they did their duty to the establishment, it should surely make no difference.

"And I have invited him up to your room, as soon as he is dressed, so as to show himself," said my friend.

Accordingly, in order to give him a

suitable reception, I invited all my friends to the muster, under promise of secrecy. The poet first came; then the editor who patronized the poet; then the professional organist; then the little German wine-importer, with a wicker flask peeping out of his pocket. and a merry barcarole issuing from his mouth; and then, after a slight interval, there was a knock at the door, and Head Waiter, accompanied by my particular waiter, as groomsman, entered.

I will not attempt to describe the dazzling sight which met our eyes, as the two men threw off their cloaks, and stood before us in all their elegance; the shining lustre of the broadcloth dress-coats; the minute polish of the boots; the voluminous folds of the white cravats; the set of the satin vests, and the artistic arrangement of the frizzedout hair. The pen of the Arab poet, who inventoried Aladdin's Palace, should alone undertake the task. Suffice it to say, that, while the splendor of the groomsman eclipsed that of any white bridegroom whom I had ever seen, the glory of the bridegroom, in turn, immeasurably surpassed him.

We shouted out our admiration with one voice; we heaped all kinds of compliments upon them; we pledged them in full cups of costly sherry; we made them drink a parting glass with us; and, finally, as their hour of departure arrived, we accompanied them to the door with new compliments, and quite a little shower of bright half dollars for wedding presents.

“ And we will drink happiness to you all this evening," I said to Head Waiter.

"Thank you very much, sir,” said Head Waiter. "And do not betray me, gentlemen. To-morrow I will return to my duty as usual, and when our proprietor discovers that I am a married man, he will have seen that I am no less worthy of my trust than before."

And so they left us; and we, returning to the table, prepared to honor the occasion, by making a night of it. Each brought his bottle, a pile of cigars was laid on the corner of the table, and the cards were dealt. Naturally our conversation ran on matrimony. We looked at the gleaming stars, and wondered which was Venus. We looked at the bell-tower, and wondered whether the man who lived there was married; and, if so, how he could bear to leave his wife, and accept such a lonely post.