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Poster

MY DEAR FRIENDS,

IF either I or my labours have any thing of public use or worth, it is wholly (though not only) yours. And I am convinced by Providence, that it is the will of God it should be so. This I clearly discerned in my first coming to you, in my former abode with you, and in the time of my forced absence from you. When I was separated by the miseries of the late unhappy war, I durst not fix in any other congregation, but lived in military unpleasing state, lest I should forestall my re turn to you. The offers of greater worldly accommo dations were no temptation to me once to question whether I should leave you: your free invitation my return, your obedience to my doctrine, the strong affection which I have yet towards you above all people, and the general hearty return of love which I find from you, do all persuade me, that I was sent into the world especially for the service of your souls: and that even when I am dead, I might be yet a help to your salvation, the Lord hath forced me, quite beside my own resolu tion, to write this treatise, and leave it in your hands. It was far from my thoughts ever to have become thus public, and burthened the world with any writing of mine: therefore have I often resisted the request of

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my reverend brethren, and some superiors, who might else have commanded much more at my hands. But see how God over-ruleth and crosseth our resolutions !

Being in my quarters far from home, cast into extreme languishing (by the sudden loss of about a gallon of blood, after many years foregoing weakness) and having no acquaintance about me, nor any book but my Bible, and living in continual expectation of death, I bent my thoughts on my everlasting rest and because my memory, through extreme weakness, was imperfect, I took my pen, and began to draw up my own funeral sermon, or some help for my own meditations of heaven, to sweeten both the rest of my life, and my death. In this condition God was pleased to continue me about five months from home; where being able for nothing else, I went on with this work, which lengthened to this which you here see. It is no wonder, therefore, if I be too abrupt in the beginning, seeing I then intended but the length of a sermon or two. Much less may you wonder if the whole be very imperfect, seeing ît was written as it were with one foot in the grave, by a man that was betwixt the living and dead, that wanted strength of nature to quicken invention or affection, and had no book but his Bible, while the chief part was finished. But how sweet is this Providence now to my review, which so happily forced me to that work of meditation, which I had formerly found so profitable to my soul! and shewed me more mercy in depriving me of other helps, than I was aware of! and hath caused my thoughts to feed on this heavenly subject, which hath more benefited me than all the studies of my life. And now, dear friends, such as it is, I here offer it you; and upon the knees of my soul, I offer up my

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thanks to the merciful God, who hath fetched up both me and it, as from the grave, for your service: who reversed the sentence of present death, which by the ablest physicians was passed upon me! who interrupted my public labours for a time, that he might trace me to do you a more lasting service, which else I had never been like to have attempted! That God do I heartily bless and magnify, who hath rescued me from the many dangers of four years war, and after so tedious nights and days, and so many doleful sights and tidings, hath returned me, and many of yourselves, and repriev ed us now to serve him in peace! And though men be ungrateful, and my body ruined beyond hope of recovery; yet he hath made up all in the comforts I have in you. To the God of mercy I do here offer up my most hearty thanks, who hath not rejected my prayers, but hath by a wonder delivered me in the midst of my duties: and hath supported me these fourteen years in a languishing state, wherein I have scarce had a waking hour free from pain: who hath above twenty several times delivered me when I was near death. though he hath made me spend my days in groans and tears, and in a constant expectation of my change, yet he hath not wholly disabled me for his service; and hereby hath more effectually subdued my pride, and made this world contemptible to me, and forced my dull heart to more importunate requests, and occasioned more rare discoveries of his mercy than ever I could have expected in a prosperous state.

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