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PROBLEM 2.

Required two Numbers whose sum and difference are rational square Numbers, and their product plus and minus, their difference are also squares by the shortest method of investigation possible, shewing how an infinite number of answers may be obtained universally?

PROBLEM 3.

To find two Numbers whose product is a square, which being encreased and decreased by the difference of the required Numbers, shall make and leave Numbers universally?

PROBLEM 4.

To find two Numbers whose product is a square, which being encreased and decreased by the sum of the required numbers, the result in each case shall be rational square Numbers universally?

Mount Byrne Lodge, Dundalk, 17th March, 1812.

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JOHN MORAN, Surveyor and Valuator of Land.

PROMOTIONS,

Bonaparte has been pleased to appoint 200,000 Excise and Revenue officers to the entire ports of the Baltic; we bel eve this is the greatest promotion in point of numbers, yet known in commercial affairs.

John Atterfoll, Esq. of Portland-place, London, to be member of Parliament, for Wotton Basset, in the room of Benjamin Walsh, Esq. expelled the house for robbery.

The Carracas, in South Amer.ca, under the Direction of General Miranda, have been promoted to the rank of a free and independent republic, from the condition of monarchical despotism.

Colonel Jeremiah Fitzhenry, late of the County Wexford, commanding the Irish guides in the service of France, has been promoted to a pension of 5007, a year, for betraying his trust to General Beresford,

Captain Francis Huddlestone has been nominated to the Irish Post Office, from the Editorship of the Hibernian Journal, for his testamentary ingenuity on the trial on the Catholics..

Counsellor Fitzsimons, of the Hibernian Journal, to be Inspector of Hearth-mouey

duties.

Corporal Firethatch has accepted the place of Collector of Victims, in the gift

of the Mullingar lords, under their autho rity, for the prosecution of canal breakers.

Mr. Simpson of Dame-street, to be cateror of dinner parties, to Mr. Brabury the anvil actor, during his residence in the Sheriff s pr son.

The Reverend Mr. Cabbin Burne, to be Inspector of Jugsmelling ;vice Firethatch appointed to the place of collector of canal breakers,

Jerry Barret, professor of Elocution, to the place of Lord of the Household, to Mr. Mac Nally the box keeper; when that gentleman dines abroad with. Surgeon Redmond, Phill. Tracy the Taylor, Lord Mountjoy, Mr Hetherington, Freddy Jenes, John Bourne, Esq. and Lady Asgill.

Peter Kearney, has been elected porter pint merchant, and beef stake dresser to the English subjects of his pasteboard Majesty, Frederick the. 1st; vice Mac Loughlin superseded for being an Hirish papist.

Father Larkin the Barrack Builder, of Ballinasloe, and P. P. has been appointed by the Chief Engineer, to fortify the Halle du bled, in Thomas-street, for the purpose of checking the Naas rebels, of disturbing the assanaghs in Dublin.

2 A 2

The

The Farming Society have raised Barney Byrne of Ballinasloe, Pharmacopolist, Clyster Engineer, and preparer of Aqua Fontano, to the rank of Cow Doctor, to their humane institution, for transporting cattle to the ancient and modern Britons.

Paddy McGuirk, who was sold to the King of Prussia, in the year 1798, has been appointed by the Corsican Napoleon, to the office of chief Burner of English produce, in the City of Berlin.

Peter M Shanaugh refused the rank of whole private in the 10th Hussars, has accepted the like rank in the American army-desired by Congress to take Que

bec.

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Phill. Tracy and Surgeon Redmond, to undertake the care of the clothes and health departments in the Crow-street monarchy.

A certain publican, to be purveyor to Justice Windmill,-11 o'clock at night, or else two quarters of mutton to-day, good eating a salmon next day, very good a rib of beef, but mind, eleven six pounds of butter, but mind, elevenfive gallons of whiskey to pay license, if you want leave till twelve-Mr. Manning be careful, Mr. Pole is requested to inquire.

General Fisher, late Chief Engineer in Ireland, and one of the proprietors of Ben

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The associated humane Lords of Mul

lingar, have issued their proclamation, appointing the book hands, of the batta lion of testimony, to the Canal district.

The priest-killers of Mountrath, have elected the Rev. Mr. Cabbin Burn to the office of President to their ancient institution-vice, Dixon promoted to the rank of hanging surveyor to the Royal Canal.

The Farming Society, at Ballinasloe meeting, have appointed the Rev. Mr. Clutterbuck, of Enniskillen, and Mr. Wynne's large hog, Robin, as the true representatives of their religion and pigs, at the next Parliament of grunters, divines, man-hunters, horse jockeys, and bulls, to be holden in that part of the United Kingdom called Summer-hill, Dublin.

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The following extraordinary effusion (there appearing no competitor,) obtained the annual prize at the Irish University; the opposition made to the award was at

first

first considerable, 'till one of its advocates having read with much emphasis, the concluding couplet of the performance, exclaimed with Ulysses. "Aut si illi non datis premia huie date." Mota manus procerum est; et quid facundia posset re patuit -Ovid. Metam. Lib. 13, 380.

DARBY PINDAR obtained the Regium Donum.

Theme.

"Moses in the Bulrushes!!!?

Give me the lustiest harp and toughest string,
A game cock's mettle and an Eagle's wing,
A skiff to 'scape from Pharaoh's desperadoes,
Mire boots, which men of leather style gambadoes;
Accoutred thus, to Nile I'll boldly trudge,
To bob for Mosey 'midst the sedgy sludge,
Lo! thro' my brain each grand idea pushes,
Clear as the mud that feeds the dank bulrushes,
The poets stowed, the first live-lumber cargo,
That ever floated, in the famed ship Argo,
They lie, for Mosey in pitched basket bleated,
Ages before that crazy hulk was freighted,
Of stout October, I will bet a tankard,
His was the earliest bark in Nile that anchored.
Laid in his cradle by the river's side,

Poor Mosey floated on the rising tide,
The sport of fortune till the ebbing flood,
Humanely moored him in the friendly mud;
Not slight the eclat for with all our brags,
Our fleets ne'er crushed so many thousand flags;*
A greeting myriad on the shores were seen,
Alas! their colour was disloyal green;

It chanced that thitherward King Pharaoh's daughter,
To cool her heated hide in limpid water,

(Or as the cockney's say, to fetch a dipping,)

Came with her gentle handmaids lightly tripping;
When lo! as swift as light ning off they scamper,

On seeing Mosey hampered in a hamper ;

The paviour thus, (a simile I love well,)
Pegged off on finding great Sir Cloudey Shovel ;†

Ere

* She took an ark of Bulrushes and laid it in the flags, by the river side. Exod. 11 It is said that the infant Sir Cloudey Shovel, was picked up by a scavenger, in

Ere one clear sound his baby tongue could utter,
Like a young piglet wallowing in the gutter;

Of hope and fear their breasts were one wild mixture,
'Till their bright eyes discovered 'twas a fixture;
Now noisy mobs of strange conjectures come on,
For what but fear can curb the tongue of woman;
Eccentric thoughts were dealt in great profusion,
We only noted down the grand conclusion,

By which 'twas passed nem. con. the wicker cot,
Of mighty Mosey was a LOBSTER POT.

They joined to rob it (every gallant nob stares,)

But girls steal hearts, then why not steal good lobsters;
In language tho' the difference is scarce any,

In law the lobster is the greater larceny ;

And were a genius by both prosecuted,

Lobster would hang him, heart would be non-suited;
In haste they run to seize the shelly treasure,
Their pouting lips anticipating pleasure;
When having reached it and just stooped to haul,
Th' awakened Mosey gave a baby baw!;

Quick they recoil, then view with wonder wild,
The looked for lobsters changed into a child;

They snatch it up, and in their arms press it,
Kiss its cold cheeks, and lovingly caress it;

Miss Pharaoh then a proper nurse engages,

Gave the sweet creature with a twelve-months wages;
And in the water since 'twas laid so cozy,

She called the mewling foundling little Mosey;

This plan of nomenclature's dear to fame,

You read each worthy's hist'ry in his name;

Thus Cloudey Shovel does that chief adorn,
By paviour's shovel, raked on cloudy morn;

Mosey

a small alley, near wapping, before day break, in the depth of winter. The honest fellow thinking the child in imminent danger of death, carried it forthwith to a parsca named Hunter, who resided in the neighbourhood; after a short deliberation, they pitched upon this extraordinary name, l.ttle thinking that the helpless infant should prove one of the greatest naval officers that ever stemmed the ocean. After a series ef gallant and successful exploits, he was lost in the Association man of war, with his whole crew, on the Basket Rocks, o Scilly, October, 22, 1707.

Baxter's records of the Navy

Mosey controuled the sea without a scuffle,

The sea was also ruled by Mr. Shovel;

Their sways were different, but 'Ive not forgot 'em,
Cloud swayed the surface Mosey swayed the bottom;
When Mosey saved his bacon swift as arrow,
He drenched to death the myrmidons of Pharaoh ;
Rival in fame Sir Shovel doth advance,

He ducked the Pharaoh's of the fleets of France;
My parallel now stops, methinks you've said,
The sea that Mosey ruled we know was red;
The answer Sirs, requires not serious study,
Blood made the sea of Cloudey red or ruddy;
Tis now indeed a puzzle interposes,

"The death of Cloudey was the life of Moses;
You pant to know it, but you need not ask it,
Mosey was found in Cloudey lost on basket ;
The story you may think is paradox,
But Cloudey's basket was the Basket Rocks.
Good college fellows see my Epic's done,
Methinks I hear you say the prize is won;
If you can wed and that I get the premiums,
Egad I'll write all your Epithalamiums.

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Oceans ruled by a Shovel, instead of a Trident.-Poems on State Affairs,

London, 1701.

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