LETTER IV.

A word spoken in due season, how good is it! - PROV. XV. 23.

CONVERSATION.

MY DEAR YOUNG FRIEND: -Those qualities which enable any man to appear well in conversation, are among the most precious that can be possessed. To every public man these qualities are peculiarly important. But to a minister of the gospel, they are above measure valuable. The business of his life is to benefit his fellow-men. A large portion of his time must be passed, and ought to be passed, in society; and he who is best qualified to make all his social intercourse at once pleasing and useful, is, of course, best qualified to promote the great ends for which the ministry was instituted.

But while this accomplishment is certainly valuable beyond all price, it evidently engages much less of the attention of candidates for the holy ministry than its importance demands. Instead of "coveting earnestly this gift;" instead of studying daily to attain it, and to make progress in it, as is done with regard to some other things of less value; this great concern is left, pretty much, to take care of itself, or, at best, to depend on the exigency of the moment, both for exercise and improvement.

Every man, indeed, is not qualified to excel in conversation; but every man may be inoffensive, if not agreeable: and, as Dean Swift has somewhere remarked, there are hundreds of men who might not only be agreeable, but really shine, who, on account of a few gross faults, which they might easily correct in half an hour, are, at present, not even tolerable. They pass through life not only without usefulness, but are considered as a nuisance wherever they appear.

As I propose to make Religious Conversation the subject of a separate letter, I shall confine myself, at present, to some general principles, which, it appears to me, ought to regulate all our social intercourse. Most of these principles, indeed, apply equally to all classes of persons. Some of them, however, are more especially worthy of the attention of those who seek or sustain the sacred office.

This subject is recommended to our attention, not only by common sense and experience, but also by the word of God. Holy Job exclaimed-"How forcible are right words!" "A word spoken in due season," says the wise man, "how good is it!" Prov. xv. 23. And again, "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." Prov. xxv. 11. Again, the inspired apostle exhorts "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." Ephes. iv. 29. And again, "Let your speech be always with grace seasoned with salt, that ye may know how to answer every man." Coloss. iv. 6.

Allow me, then, to put you on your guard against

some of the most common faults in conversation, and to recommend some of those excellencies, which appear to me particularly worthy of your attention.

1. In the first place, be upon your guard against talking too much in company. He who is very talkative incurs disadvantages of the most serious kind. He cheapens himself; tires his hearers; and, of course, renders what he has to say, however rich it may be in wisdom, much less likely to prove either acceptable or useful, than if he talked less. Speak seasonably, nay frequently, if you have opportunity, but never long. Contribute your equitable share to the conversation; but do not allow yourself to go beyond these limits. "Pay your own reckoning," as one has expressed it; "but do not undertake, at your own expense, to treat the whole company. This being one of the few cases in which people do not wish to be treated; every one being fully convinced that he has wherewithal to pay his own bill.” This fault is particularly noticed and reproved in Scripture. "A fool's voice," says the wise man, “is known by the multitude of words." "In the multitude of words," says the same inspired teacher, "there wanteth not sin; but he that refraineth his lips is wise." And again, "He that hath knowledge, spareth his words." Eccles. iii. 3. Prov. x. 19. Prov. xvii. 27.

I have never known a great talker, however enlightened and instructive, who did not, at length, become wearisome to his company. Nor did I ever know one of this character, who, in the multitude of the remarks and opinions which he threw out, did not sometimes utter that which he had better have

kept to himself; and which, in some instances, became the source of great subsequent trouble. It is very unwise in a man who bears such a relation to society as a clergyman does; who is set for the instruction and guidance of the people; who comes in contact with so many individuals in all classes of society; whose remarks and opinions are important, and if he be at all respected, likely to be remembered and quoted; nay, whose judgment on the current topics of the day may have no small influence on the minds of some, when he shall have passed off the stage of life; surely it is unwise for such a man to be throwing out his opinions on all subjects, without due consideration. Surely it is unwise for him to speak hastily and rashly. And if he be "full of talk," he will seldom be, for an hour together, wholly free from rash and indiscreet speaking. Let every man, but especially every minister, be swift to hear, and slow to speak.

2. A fault, directly the reverse of that which was last mentioned, is the extreme of silence in company. I have known some from physical temperament; others from abstraction and absence of mind; and a third class, perhaps, from still more exceptionable causes, wrapping themselves up in a chilling reserve; never speaking but when addressed, and then answering as briefly as possible, and relapsing into silence again. This is certainly unhappy for one who ought to be, wherever he is, an instructor and benefactor. While you avoid garrulity, then, sink not down into silence. While you guard against monopolizing the conversation, by no means give it up altogether. And if you find yourself frequently at a loss

for topics of conversation, take pains to have something ready for the discharge of this, as well as every other duty, by previously meditating on what may be adapted to utility in the particular company to which you may be introduced.

3. Another practical maxim, of great importance in conversation, is, that you avoid a tale-bearing tattling spirit. I have known some clergymen, who were the greatest newsmongers in their neighbourhoods. They were among the first to circulate idle stories; to give currency to unconfirmed statements; to trumpet abroad charges of the most serious kind, without adequate evidence, and were often, very often, afterwards obliged to explain, apologize, and even retract. This is a shameful spirit for any professing Christian to indulge; but is peculiarly shameful for an ambassador of Christ, whose course ought ever to be marked by caution, dignity, tenderness for the reputation of others, and universal benevolence.

Be not ready to credit, and in your social hours to recognize as true, every ill report that malignity or folly may put in circulation. If you have heard of any faux pas in the neighbourhood, or even if you know it to be true, be among the last to speak of it, unless plainly called in duty to do so. Let others lend themselves to the ignoble work of tale-bearing, or be willing to connect their names with the repetition of ill-natured reports; but let not your name be ever mentioned in such unworthy associations. If authority for slander or for contemptible gossiping stories is to be demanded, let it not be traced to a minister of Christ, who ought to have something to do infinitely more worthy of his calling. I have