the appropriateness and force of the considerations which he adduces in support of these injunctions. You will observe, that my object is not to give you a full account of the duties of husbands, and of the motives enforcing them. Had that been my design I should have taken for my subject the whole of the Christian law, as laid down in the following passages of Scripture, passages which I hope every husband in this assembly has engraved on the tablet, not only of his memory, but of his heart. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word; that he might present it to himself a glorious Church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing, but that it should be holy, and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies, for he who loveth his wife loveth himself: for no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church: for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless, let every one of you, in particular, so love his wife even as himself. Husbands love your wives, and be not bitter against them."1 My object is a much more limited one. Taking for granted, with the Apostle, that the husbands addressed, were possessed of that peculiar affection, without the possession of the elements of which the marriage relation ought never to be formed, and without the careful cultivation and steady development of which, the duties of that relation cannot be performed, nor its comforts enjoyed, I mean to confine myself to those manifestations of this principle, and those motives urging to these manifestations, to which the Apostle's object naturally led him particularly to advert, in Eph. v. 25-33. Col. iii. 19. showing the Christians to whom he was writing, living in the midst of heathens ignorant of their religion, how to "have their conversation honest among the Gentiles, that so with well-doing they might put to silence the ignorance of foolish men." For this purpose he exhorts Christian subjects and Christian servants to be particularly attentive to their civil and domestic duties; for this purpose he exhorts Christian wives to be exemplary in all their conjugal duties; and for this purpose he, in our text, exhorts Christian husbands to "dwell with their wives according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs of the grace of life, that their prayers be not hindered." A certain degree of obscurity is cast over this passage, by the manner in which it is construed in our version. I should think few intelligent persons have ever read the passage without feeling as if the first reason given for honouring the wife, were a somewhat paradoxical one. It seems very plain, that the Christian husband should honour the Christian wife, because she is equally with himself an "heir of the grace of life;" but it seems odd, that her being the weaker vessel should be assigned as a reason why she should be honoured. It is a very good, a very persuasive reason, to sympathize with her, to help her, to be kind to her; but it does not seem to have much cogency in it as a reason for honouring her. On looking into the text, as it came from the Apostle's pen, there appears no trace of this apparent incongruity. The words translated, "to the wife, as to the weaker vessel," and which might, with equal propriety, be rendered, "with the wife as with the weaker vessel," immediately follow the words, "dwell according to knowledge," and precede, instead of following, as we would naturally suppose from our version, the words, "giving honour." They are plainly intended to qualify the first clause, just as the words, "as being heirs of the grace of life," are intended to qualify the second. The wife being the weaker vessel is 1Ως ασθενεστέξω σκευές των γυναικείων the reason why the husband should "dwell with her according to knowledge ;" just as her being a fellow heir of the grace of life, is the reason why he should honour her; and the importance of presenting any hindrance to their prayers, is a motive equally bearing on both of the duties enjoined. The method, then, which seems best fitted to bring out the meaning and force of the text is, first, to explain the first injunction, "Dwell with the wife according to knowledge,” and its appropriate motive: "She is the weaker vessel;" then the second injunction, and its appropriate motive: “Honour her, as she is a joint heir of the grace of life;" and, finally, the concluding consideration, which is equally fitted for giving force to both these injunctions. § 1.—To "dwell with the wife according to knowledge, as being the weaker vessel.” Let us now proceed to the illustration of the first injunction, and its appropriate motive; "likewise ye husbands dwell according to knowledge, with the wife, that is, each with his own wife, as being the weaker vessel." Let the husband dwell with his wife. Let him dwell with her according to knowledge. What is the meaning of these expressions? The expression, let the husband dwell with his wife, seems naturally to suggest the idea that, in the Apostle's estimation, each family should have a separate habitation; that they should not only dwell in the same house, but that as every man should have his own wife, and every woman her own husband, every man and wife should have their own house. The son when he becomes a husband, should "leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife." This is the arrangement dictated by nature and reason, an arrangement seldom disregarded without uncomfortable consequences. Different households should have in all ordinary circumstances different houses. Many dishonourable things γνωσιν, alter ad τιμην. In bis hic ponitur: priore loco pertinet ad poscit infirmitas vasis; Tiny co-hereditas injungit.- BENGEL. 2 Gen. ii. 24. Τνωσιν among the Gentiles, originated in the neglect of this arrangement. But this, though apparently included in the injunction, does not exhaust its meaning. It plainly implies, that not only should the husband and wife have the same and a separate house, but that the husband as well as the wife should ordinarily, habitually, dwell in that house. Wives are, no doubt, peculiarly bound to be "keepers at home." That is their principal and all but exclusive scene of duty and usefulness; but husbands, too, are bound, in all ordinary circumstances, to make their house their home. "It is absurd," as has been justly said, "for those who have no prospect of dwelling together, to enter into the marriage state; and they who are already in it, should not be unnecessarily abroad." Circumstances may occur which may make absence from home, even for a considerable time, a duty on the part of the husband, but these are exceptions from the general rule. There is much force in the inspired apothegm, "as a bird that wandereth from her nest, so is a man that wandereth from his place." "Those persons," says Baxter, "live contrary to the nature of this relation, who live a great part of their lives asunder as many do, for worldly respects; when they have several houses, possessions, or trades, and the husband must live at one, and the wife at the other, for their commodity sake, and only come together once in a week, or in many weeks. Where this is done without great necessity, it is a constant violation of their duties. And so it is for men to go to trade or live beyond sea, or in another land, and leave their wives behind them; yea, though they have their wives' consent, it is an unlawful course, except in a case of mere necessity or public service, or where they are able to say that the benefits are likely to be greater to the soul and body than the loss. The offices which husbands and wives are bound to perform for one another, are such as for the most part suppose them dwelling under 1 Prov. xxvii. 8. the same roof, like the offices of the members of the body for each other, which they cannot perform if they are dismembered and divided." How can a man from home discharge his duties to his household? family devotion, family instruction, family discipline, must all, so far as he is concerned, be neglected. There are husbands who are seldom from home in the sense now explained, who yet are very deficient in the duty here enjoined, dwelling with their wives. Though never from home in one way, they are but seldom at home in another. Their leisure hours are spent abroad. They seem fonder almost of any society than the society of their wives. It is a shrewd remark, which observation but too fully confirms, "when a married man, a husband, a father, is fond of spending his evenings abroad; it implies something bad, and predicts something worse." To dwell with the wife is to associate with her as the husband's chosen companion and confidential friend. There are some husbands who never consult their wives, and even leave them to learn from a third person matters in which they are deeply concerned. This is not as it should be. He who enters into the spirit of the Apostle's advice, will, amid the occupations of the day, please himself with the thought of enjoying her society in the evening, as the best refreshment after his toils. Her presence will make his own mansion, however humble, far more agreeable to him than any other which he may occasionally visit. The anxieties and cares attendant on her maternal and domestic character he will endeavour to soothe and relieve. When she is happy he will be happy : when she is afflicted he will be afflicted. He will rejoice with her when she rejoices, and weep with her when she weeps. His heart will safely trust in her, and, by a constant interchange of kind offices, he will increase both in her and in himself that entire confidential esteem and love, which makes all relative duties easy and pleasant. This is for the husband to dwell with the wife. 2 |