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my gracious Redeemer, and to form, as God shall enable me, resolutions and purposes of a better life.
When I review the last year, I am able to
recollect so little done, that shame and sorrow, though perhaps too weakly, come upon me; yet I have been generally free from local pain, and my strength has seemed gradually to in
But my sleep has generally been unquiet, and I have not been able to rise early. My mind is unsettled, and my memory confused. I have of late turned my thoughts, with a very useless earnestness, upon past incidents. I have yet got no command over my thoughts; an unpleasing incident is almost certain to hinder my rest; this is the remainder of my last illness. By sleepless or unquiet nights, and short days, made short by late rising, the time passes away uncounted and unheeded, Life so spent is useless.
I hope to cast my time into some stated
method. To let no hour pass unemployed. To rise by degrees more early in the morn
ing To keep a journal.
I have, I think, been less guilty of neg.
lecting public worship than formerly. I have commonly on Sunday gone once to church, and if I have missed, have reproached myself.
I have exerted rather more activity of
body. These dispositions I desire to improve.
I resolved, last Easter, to read within the
year, the whole Bible, a very great part of which I had never looked upon. I read the Greek Testament without construing, and this day concluded the Apocalypse. I think that no part was missed.
My purpose of reading the rest of the
Bible was forgotten, till I took by chance the resolutions of last Easter in my
I began it the first day of Lent; and, for
a time, read with some regularity. I was then disturbed or seduced, but finished the Old Testament last Thursday.
I hope to read the whole Bible once a
year, as long as I live.
Yesterday I fasted, as I have always, or
commonly done, since the death of Tetty. The fast was more painful than it has formerly been, which I imputed to some medicinal evacuations in the beginning of the week, and to a meal of cakes on the foregoing day. I cannot now fast as formerly.
I devoted this week to the perusal of the
Bible, and have done little secular busi
I am this night easier than is customary on this anniversary, but am not sensibly enlightened.
After Twelve at Night. The day is now begun, on which I
hope to begin a new course steg im' υσπλήγγων. .
My hopes are from this time,
LMIGHTY God, merciful Father, who hatest nothing that Thou hast made, look down with pity upon my sinfulness and
weakness. Strengthen, O Lord, my mind; deliver me from needless terrors; enable me to correct all inordinate desires, to eject all evil thoughts, to reform all sinful habits, and so to amend my life, that when at the end of my days Thou shalt call me hence, I may depart in peace, and be received into everlasting happiness, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Nine in the Morning. Glory be to Thee, O Lord God, for the deliverance which Thou hast granted me from diseases of mind and body. Grant, O gracious God, that I may employ the powers which Thou vouchsafest me to thy glory, and the salvation of my soul, for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen.
April 26, 1772. I was some way hindered from continuing
this contemplation in the usual manner,