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God for resolution, and will endeavour to strengthen my faith in Christ, by
commemorating his death. I prayed for Tett.
April 22, 1764. HAVING, before I went to bed, composed
the foregoing meditation, and the following prayer; I tried to compose myself, but slept unquietly. I rose, took tea, and prayed for resolution and perseverance. Thought on Tetty, dear poor Tetty, with my eyes full.
I went to church; came in at the first of the
Psalms, and endeavoured to attend the service, which I went through without perturbation. After sermon I recommended Tetty in a prayer by herself; and my father, mother, brother, and
Bathurst, in another.
I did it only once, so far as it might be lawful for
I then prayed for resolution and perseve
rance to amend my life. I received soon, the communicants were many. At the altar, it occurred to me that I ought to form some resolutions. I resolved, in the presence of God, but without a vow, to repel sinful thoughts, to study eight hours daily, and, I think, to go to church every Sunday, and read the scriptures. I gave a shilling; and seeing a poor girl at the Sacrament in a bedgown, gave her privately a crown, though I saw Hart's Hymns in her hand. I prayed earnestly foramendment, and repeated my prayer at home. Dined with Miss W., went to prayers at church;
spent the evening not pleasantly. Avoided wine, and tempered a very few glasses with sherbet. Came home and prayed.
I saw at the Sacrament a man meanly
dressed, whom I have always seen there at Easter.
AGAINST LOOSE THOUGHTS AND IDLE
April 22, 1764, at Three, Morning. ALMIGHT
LMIGHTY and most merciful Father, who hast created and preserved me, have pity on my weakness and corruption. Deliver nie from habitual wickedness and idleness ; enable me to purify my thoughts, to use the faculties which Thou hast given me with honest diligence, and to regulate my life by thy holy word.
Grant me, O Lord, good purposes and steady resolution, that I may repent my sins, and amend my life. Deliver me from the distresses of vain terror, and enable
me, by thy grace, to will and to do what may please Thee; that when I shall be called away
from this present state, I may obtain everlasting happiness, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Sept. 18, 1764, about Six, Evening.
THIS is my fifty-sixth birth-day, the
day on which I have concluded fifty
I have outlived many friends. I have felt
many sorrows. I have made few improvements. Since my resolution formed last Easter, I have made no advancement in knowledge or in goodness; nor do I recollect that I have endeavoured it. I am dejected, but not hopeless.
O God, for Jesus Christ's sake, have mercy Seven in the Evening, I went to church, prayed to be loosed from
the chain of my sins.
I have now spent fifty-five years in resol
ving; having, from the earliest time almost that I can remember, been forming schemes of a better life. I have done nothing; the need of doing therefore is pressing, since the time of doing is short. O God grant me to resolve aright, and to keep my resolutions, for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen.
To study the Scriptures; I hope, in the
original languages. Six hundred and forty verses every Sunday, will nearly
comprise the Scriptures in a year. To read good books; to study theology.