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GOD grant that I may, from this day,
O God, giver and preserver of all life, by whose power I was created, and by whose providence I am sustained, look down upon me with tenderness and mercy; grant that I may not have been created to be finally destroyed; that I may not be preserved to add wickedness to wickedness; but may so repent me of my sins, and so
order my life to come, that when I shall be called hence, like the wife whom Thou hast taken from me, I may die in peace and in thy favour, and be received into thine everlasting kingdom, through the merits and mediation of Jesus Christ thine only Son our Lord and Saviour. Amen.
LMIGHTY and most merciful Father, who by thy Son Jesus Christ hast redeemed us from sin and death, grant that the commemoration of his passion may quicken my repentance, increase my hope, and strengthen my faith; that I may lament and forsake my sins; and, for the time which Thou shalt yet grant me, may avoid idleness, and neglect of thy word and worship. Grant me strength to be diligent in the lawful employments which shall be set before me; grant me purity of thoughts, words, and actions. Grant me to love and study thy word, and to frequent thy worship with
affection. Deliver and . preserve me from vain terrors, and grant that by the grace of thy Holy Spirit I may so live, that after this life ended, I may be received to everlasting happiness, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
April 20, 1764. I have made no reformation; I have lived
totally useless, more sensual in thought, and more addicted to wine and meat. Grant me, O God, to amend my life, for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen.
To put my rooms in order*.
* Disorder I have found one great cause of idleness.
April 21, 1764, Three in the Morning. MY indolence, since my last reception of
the Sacrament, has sunk into grosser sluggishness, and my dissipation spread into wilder negligence. My thoughts have been clouded with sensuality; and, except that from the beginning of this year
I have in some measure forborn excess of strong drink, my appetites have predominated over my reason.
А kind of strange oblivion has overspread me, so that I know not what has become of the last year; and perceive that incidents and intelligence pass over me without leaving any impression.
This is not the life to which heaven is
promised. I purpose to approach the altar again to-morrow. Grant, O Lord, that I may receive the Sacrament with such resolutions of a better life as may by thy grace be effectual, for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen.
I read the whole Gospel of St. John. Then sat up till the 22d.
My purpose is from this time,
thoughts. To provide some useful amusement for
leisure time. To avoid idleness. To rise early, To study a proper portion of every day. To worship God diligently. To read the Scriptures. To let no week pass without reading some
part. To write down
observations. I will renew my resolutions made at
I perceive an insensibility and heaviness upon me.
I am less than commonly oppressed with the sense of sin, and less affected with the shame of idleness. Yet I will not despair, I will pray to