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doings. Let increase of years bring increase of faith, hope, and charity. Grant me diligence in whatever work thy providence shall appoint me. Take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but let me pass the remainder of my days which Thou shalt yet allow me, in thy fear and to thy glory; and when it shall be thy good pleasure to call me hence, grant me, O Lord, forgiveness of my sins, and receive me to everlasting happiness, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
January 2. I was yesterday hindered by my old dis
ease of mind, and therefore begin today.
January 1. HAVING sat in my chamber till the year
began, I used my accommodation of the Morning Prayer to the beginning of this year, and slept remarkably well, though I had supped liberally. In the morning I went to church. Then I wrote letters for Mrs. Desmoulins; then went to Streatham, and had many stops.
At night I took wine, and did not sleep well.
January 2, 1781. I ROSE according to my resolution, and
am now to begin another year; I hope with amendment of life, I will not despair. Help me, help me, O my God. My hope is,
To rise at eight, or sooner.
ALMIGHTY God, merciful father, who hast granted me such continuance of life, that I now see the beginning of another year, look with mercy upon me; as Thou grantest increase of years, grant increase of grace.
Let me live to repent what I have done amiss, and by thy help so to regulate my future life, that I may obtain mercy when I appear before Thee, through the merits of Jesus Christ. Enable me, O Lord, to do my duty with a quiet mind; and take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but protect and bless me, for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen.
April 13, 1781. I FORGOT my prayer and resolutions, till
two days ago I found this paper.
Sometime in March I finished the Lives of
the Poets, which I wrote in my usual way, dilatorily and hastily, unwilling to work, and working with vigour and haste.
On Wednesday 11, was buried my dear
friend Thrale, who died on Wednesday 4; and with him were buried
of my hopes and pleasures. About five, I think, on Wednesday morning he expired; I felt almost the last flutter of his pulse, and looked for the last time upon the face that for fifteen
had never been turned upon me but with respect or benignity. Farewell. May God, that delighteth in mercy, have had mercy on thee.
I had constantly prayed for him some time
before his death.
The decease of him, from whose friendship
I had obtained many opportunities of amusement, and to whom I turned my thoughts as to a refuge from misfortunes, has left me heavy. But my business is with myself.
September 18. My first knowledge of Thrale was in 1765. I enjoyed his favour for almost a fourth
April 14, 1781, On Good Friday I took, in the afternoon,
some coffee and buttered cake; and today, I had a little bread at breakfast, and potatoes and apples in the afternoon, the tea with a little toast; but I find myself feeble and unsustained, and suspect that I cannot bear to fast so long as formerly.