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As my life has, from my earliest years,
been wasted in a morning bed, my purpose is from Easter Day to rise early, not later than eight.
11°. 15'. P.M.D.j.
Easter Eve, April 15, 1775.
I ROSE more early than is common, after
a night disturbed by flatulencies, though I had taken so little. I prayed, but my mind was unsettled, and I did not fix upon the book. After the bread and tea I trifled, and about three ordered coffee and buns for my dinner. I find more faintness and uneasiness in fasting than I did formerly.
While coffee was preparing, Collier came
in, a man whom I had not seen for more than twenty years, but whom I consulted about Macky's books. We
talked of old friends and past occurrences, and eat and drank together,
I then read a little in the Testament, and
tried Fiddes's Body of Divinity, but did not settle.
I then went to Evening Prayer, and was
tolerably composed. At my return I sat a while, then retired, but found reading uneasy.
11.P.M. These two days in which I fasted, I have
not been sleepy, though I rested ill.
April 16, 1775. ALMIGHTY
LMIGHTY God, heavenly Father, whose mercy is over all thy works, look with pity on my miseries and sins. Suffer me to commemorate, in thy presence, my redemption by thy Son Jesus Christ. Enable me so to repent of my mispent time, that I may pass the residue of my life in thy fear, and to thy glory. Relieve, O Lord, as seemeth best unto Thee, the infirmities of my body, and the perturbation of my mind. Fill my thoughts with awful love of thy goodness, with just fear of thine anger, and with humble confidence in thy mercy. Let me study thy laws, and labour in the duties which Thou shalt set before
Take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but incite in me such good desires, as may produce diligent endeavours after thy glory and my own salvation; and when, after hopes and fears, and joys and sorrows, Thou shalt call me hence, receive me to eternal happiness, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Collier is dead. April 7, 1776.
Transcribed from a former book, with a
slight emendation or two. With that book I parted, perhaps unnecessarily, by a catch.
Sept. 18. 1775. O God, by whom all things were created and are sustained, who givest and takest away, in whose hands are life and death, accept my imperfect thanks for the length of days which Thou hast vouchsafed to grant me; impress upon my mind such repentance of the time mispent in sinfulness and negligence, that I may
obtain forgiveness of all my offences; and so calm my mind, and strengthen my resolutions, that I may live the remaining part of my life in thy fear, and with thy favour. Take not thy Holy Spirit from me; but let me so love thy laws, and so obey them, that I may finally be received to eternal happiness, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Composed at Calais, in a sleepless night, 1776.
and used before the morn at Nôtre Dame. Written at St. Omers.
Jan. 1. Almight
LMIGHTY God, merciful Father, who hast permitted me to see the beginning of another year, grant that the time which Thou shalt yet afford me, may be spent to thy glory, and the salvation of my own soul. Strengthen all good resolutions, and take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but have mercy upon me, and shed thy blessing both on my soul and body, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
April 7. The time is again at which, since the
death of my poor dear Tetty, on whom God have mercy, I have annually com