The poet was so earnest and voluble that the Reader was unable to explain the matter until he had finished. The explanation, however, when made, was perfectly satisfactory. We did not get off quite so well with another poet, who really had a fair complaint against us. He had written a poem for a Magazine which we were printing. One line of this poem-I forget what was the subject-as it appeared in print, read thus: "Who never stained their shirts with blood." The author rushed into the office in great agony. What did we mean by defacing his poetry in that manner? He was disgraced and ruined forever! A million dollars wouldn't begin to repay the loss which he had suffered! "What is wrong?" asked the trembling Reader. "What is wrong! Bring me my 'copy' and I will show you. Look there!" opening the printed sheet: "Never stained their shirts.' Now see here is what I wrote," pointing to the manuscript, which the boy had meanwhile brought: "This is what I wrote- Never stained their skirts.' I wrote skirts, and you have printed it shirts, and have disgraced me forever!" We looked at the manuscript. What should have been a k was an unmistakable h. The compositor, as in duty bound, had "followed copy," and the Proof-reader, letting his eye for the moment do duty for his brain, had failed to detect what the poet meant to have written. He had to escape the best way he could: "The copy reads ' shirts' as plainly as possible," he stammered. in the dead of winter. The water was frozen in the hose, and the gallant exertions of the firemen were almost paralyzed by extreme cold. There is no need for me to endeavor to describe that awful time. The best description of it which I can call to mind was contained in a sermon by Rev. Dr. Krebs. This was published, and is well worthy of preservation by any one who has a collection of pamphlets of that day. This fire, remember, happened in the dead of winter. Years after-ten or a dozen, I think-a great fire occurred in Brooklyn; but this was in mid-summer. It took place Saturday night and Sunday morning. On that Sunday I attended church in Willoughby Street, not far from the point where the conflagration was stayed. An old friend of mine was pastor; but on this occasion his pulpit was supplied by Dr. Krebs. The sermon was eloquent; into it was interwoven a picture of the fire of the previous night. I was struck by one long passage. After describing the terrors of the mid-summer conflagration, the preacher went on something thus: "But, my brethren, in this instance the judgments of the Lord were tempered with mercy. Had this great conflagration, instead of occurring in summer, taken place in winter, how fearfully would its terrors have been enhanced. Then the water would have been frozen; the benumbed hands of the firemen would have been unable to have worked their engines of mercy, and-" Here followed a highlywrought description of a great fire in mid-winter. Going home with my friend, the Willoughby Street pastor-his name, by the way, was Locke, which puts me in mind of a good joke made there "Yes, yes; but I always write an h and a k ex-upon. He was unmarried, and it was noticeable actly alike," said the poet. "We always print them exactly alike," replied the Reader. The poet was puzzled. He had appealed to his manuscript, and that was against him. He had closed up his case, and had not a leg left to stand upon. If you ever happen to turn up the Magazine with the poem containing that unlucky line, you will know how it happened to read thus. Please to correct it, making "skirts" out of the printer's "shirts." The mention of my proof-reading experiences has led me into a slight digression from the subject of which I was about to write, which was Professor Bush's mot about Dr. Cox. I could have told you a hundred stories about printers' errors, "all of which I saw, and a part of which I was;" perhaps I may do so some day. But now I will finish what I had begun to say about Mr. Bush when I was betrayed into this digression. Well, then, to make a long story short, you remember the great meteoric shower of 1835, or thereabout. I may be mistaken as to the precise year; but it was, I know, about the time of the "Great Fire" in New York-the first "Great Fire," I mean, for there have been two which deserve this designation. The first great meteoric shower and the first great fire came so nearly together that, as I look back upon them, they appear to have happened together. Professor Bush's mot, which you will presently have, is connected with the meteoric shower, but has nothing to do with the fire. But I must-though I dislike always to wander from the point, which is the meteoric shower, Dr. Cox, and Professor Bush's mot-diverge a little, and jot down a reminiscence connected, though somewhat remotely, with the "Great Fire," which, as I have said, happened within no long time from the great meteoric shower. This first great fire occurred how many young ladies attended his church. "How do you account," I asked of a female friend, "for so many pretty girls always being seen in the Willoughby Street Church ?" "Oh," was the reply, "I suppose it's because they are inclined to wed-lock." But, as I was saying, going home with my friend the pastor, I expressed my astonishment that Dr. K. should in to short a time have been able to work up such an eloquent description of a fire. He answered by handing me the pamphlet, printed a half score of years before, describing the great New York fire. But whither have I been wandering? I began this note thinking that in a single page I could tell you what Professor Bush said about Dr. Cox, and also add the conundrum about the "First Record of Corporal Punishment." I can not certainly gather up all these threads in the space left me on this sheet. You shall have them in brief space in another note. "ONE of the religious Quarterlies is down upon long prayers in the pulpit. It tells of a minister who prayed three-quarters of an hour before sermon, and of another who prayed twenty-seven minutes after sermon. It condemns eccentric prayers with equal severity, and signals a New England divine who, in 1801, when Jefferson had come into power, went into his pulpit on the Sabbath after the Inauguration, and in his leading prayer used the following language: O Lord! thou hast commanded us to pray for our enemies. Accordingly we begin with Thomas Jefferson.' This was the venom of an old Federalist oozing out in prayer." The same writer says: "Maine was once a District of Massachusetts before becoming a State. At the time of its erection into a State there was some dispute as to when the powers of the old government "B-but you have charge on't. w-wuth?' "Two hundred dollars.' "That's mine.' "What's the b-buggy w-wuth?' "That's worth ten dollars.' What's it terminated and those of the new began. The then | Governor of Massachusetts was named Allan, and the first Governor of Maine was also named Allan. In the interim a venerable minister of Maine, who "Q-queer m-mill that-only wuth t-two huuwas equally learned and eccentric, offered the follow-dred dollars. W-who owns that b-buggy there?' ing petition during a church service: O Lord! we pray for thy blessing to rest on the Chief Magistrate of this Commonwealth'- certainly a very proper and timely request, had he allowed it to rest at that; bat stopping a moment he added, by way of parenthesis-Bill Allan I mean!' It happened that Bill Allan, the Governor, was present, and participated in the enjoyment of the occasion. Such eccentricities are better to be avoided than imitated. They bring religious things into contempt, and deserve rebuke." DURING a protracted meeting at a Methodist church in East Tennessee, when some mourners were at the altar, the minister in charge called on a Presbyterian elder who was present to pray for them. The elder began one of those long, pointless, didactic effasions the dispensation of which we have often endured; and was engaged in a very full discussion of the divine attributes and perfections, when the stock of endurance possessed by the preacher gave out, and he stopped him, saying aloud, "Never mind that, brother, never mind that: the Lord knows more about that than you or I. Pray for these sinners." Whatever doubt we may have as to the propriety of such interruption, a jury of ministers would bring in a verdict-Served him right!" THE camp, the field, and the hospital fill the Drawer with their pleasantries, and we might use these pages only to exhibit the humors of the war. Here follow a few: Complaint having been made in one of the hospitals that an Irish volunteer would not submit to the prescribed remedies, one of the attendant physicians proceeded to expostulate with him, when the soldier defended himself very valiantly and with all the wit of his native isle, exclaiming, "Sure, your honor, wasn't it a blister they wanted to put upon my back? And I only tould them it was althegither impossible; for I've such a mighty dislike to thim blisters that, put 'em where you will, they are sure to go agin my stomach!" "Q-queer b-buggy-only wuth ten dollars. That c-cow is yours, I s'pose. What's she w-wuth?' "Five dollars.' "You w-wouldn't sell 'em for that, w-would you?' "Yes, and glad to get the money.' "W-well, if that's all they're w-wuth, I'll t-take 'em at that.' "This opened Farmer Jones's eyes, and before Graves had done with him the mill was assessed at $800, the buggy at $50, the cow at $20, and other stock in proportion. "How did you make out with old Jones?' asked one of Graves's friends. "Oh, I f-fotched him,' was the reply." "A CERTAIN dignified individual opened a broker's shop on our Cincinnati Wall Street, under the much-beloved name of 'UNION BANK,' advertising for deposits and business generally. He professed to pay a liberal interest on all funds deposited in the Union Bank. Matters went smoothly on until the deposit account grew somewhat large, when he balanced cash one Saturday for the last time, and left between two days, leaving nothing but an immense sign of UNION BANK' to divide among the creditors. A wag went to the room above, and removed from the first word the two letters N, leaving to his terror-stricken depositors the huge sign as a legacy, to read with great emphasis 'U I O BANK.' On Monday the friends of the late institution saw, without asking any questions, the state of their claims, and are now enjoying the joke at their own loss." "YOUR extract from the Ashtabula paper, in Harper for October, is a gem. Ohio has done more in that line. I send a sample: "Some years since a new firm of dry-goods dealers in this village, on their return from the city' with their first purchase, sent out a large number of handbills, in which was this sentence: But not to pile up the agony of Western eloquence, we state with great confidence that ladies attired in our new styles of fall and winter dress goods, will find the effect so rejuvenating that all the cares incident to domestic life will be as blithesome as kissing the dew-drops from the roses of beauty that bloom in perennial fragrance in the Elysian fields of ecstatic love!'" A CORRESPONDENT from the "Hospital, Fortress Monroe," writes: "I have often been glad to see the Drawer in the woods of Maine and on the prairies of Nebraska; but I have never experienced more real benefit from it than in this old hospital. I had seen no papers or books for a month, when last Monday I espied the June Number of Harper on the bed of a comrade. I borrowed it, and was soon so lost in its IN Western New York, in the town of L, on pages as to forget my wounded ankle. Among the the Erie canal, lives a man of the Spiritual faith. anecdotes in the Drawer was one about 'Little Some time since he professed to have received a Graves,' as we used to call him in Nebraska. I revelation from the spirit of Robert Fulton to build knew him well. At one time he was Assessor of a steam canal-boat on a new pattern. He accordTaxes, in which capacity he called upon an old gen-ingly set out to build one in conformity with the tleman noted for his oddities and penuriousness. "Well, Mr. J-J-ones,' asked Graves, in his stut- "I hain't got nothing. They ain't mine.' plan received from Fulton's spirit. He collected a large amount of material, and put together a contrivance on the bank of the canal which people thought decidedly new, but doubted its swimming qualities. But the Spiritual gentleman had the utmost faith in the success of his undertaking, and when his preparations were completed, and after spending $1500, the day arrived for launching the wonderful and heavenly-originated boat, and it was Washington, D. C., U. S. A.' "I did not notice whether the 'Please forward,' which I have heard of in a similar case, was on this ⚫letter or not. I presume not. "Was it a supposition on the part of the writer of the letter that his whereabouts at the time was known to the widow of the late distinguished Senator, and that she could communicate?" silent spectator of the scene, yelled after him, 'You are, I have no doubt, a very good Fip, but you couldn't pass there!' The crowd shouted, and Mr. Fipps vamosed the ranch." SOME time ago an English bookmaker got up a volume with the curious title of "The Tin Trumpet." It has been reprinted with various addenda in this country, and with a great lot of rubbish has lots of good things in it-some of the best of them having found their way into the Drawer. You recollect the two Congressmen and the Lord's Prayer. It was Benson who offered to bet five dollars that Johnson could not repeat it correctly. Johnson took the bet, and, thinking a moment, said the "Now I lay me down to sleep" with perfect accuracy. "Well, I declare," said Benson as he paid over the V, "I did not think you could do it!" Now this was thought to be a genuine Yankee, but in "The Tin Trumpet" it reads as follows: "A reprobate fellow once laid his worthy associate a bet of five guineas that he could not repeat the Creed. It was accepted, and his friend repeated the Lord's Prayer. 'Confound you,' cried the former, who imagined that he had been listening to the Creed, I had no idea you had such a memory: there are your five guineas!'" Zeb, THE Rev. Dr. Sprague, in his "Lives of Methodist Ministers," has omitted the following incident in regard to Rev. Zeb Twitchell, a Methodist clergyman in full and regular standing, and a member of the Vermont Conference: At one time he represented Stockbridge in the State Legislature. says our informant, is a man of fair talents, both as a preacher and a musician. In the pulpit he is "I was at a negro-I beg pardon, a colored-grave, solemn, dignified, and a thorough, systemcamp-meeting, a few years since, and some six or seven miles north of this city. One afternoon a colored brother took the stand and discoursed upon the Millennium.' In his remarks he had occasion to refer to the prophecies. 'Yes, my bredren,' said he, 'the swords, and the spears, and the guns, and every thing of that sort, as the Scripture says, shall be turned into plow-shares and something else-I disremember what-and the whole artillery into railroads. Amen; thus let it be.' "He was only carrying out a little more, in extenso, the figure of the prophet. "The prospect, however, seems to be that, just now, we need more artillery than railroads." OUR little sister Delaware wishes to come into the Drawer, and sends a brace of anecdotes; the last one, however, is of the ancient order. "During the year of 1846 the remains of Commodore Jacob Jones were brought to the City of Wilmington for the purpose of being buried, with civic and military honors, in the beautiful cemetery near the city. The coffin containing the remains was placed in the City Hall, and a guard stationed at the door to prevent the citizens from entering the Hall. Applications for admission were very numerous, yet they were all met by a polite but firm refusal. At length a gentleman by the name of Fipps (a very clever fellow, by-the-way, although very consequential) applied for admission and was denied. Thereupon Mr. Fipps began hectoring the guard, telling him that the Hall was public property, etc.; but it was all to no purpose, the guard was inflexible; and Mr. Fipps, quite discomfited, was walking moodily away when an old huxter woman, who had been a "Does atic sermonizer; but out of it there is no man living ceeded, with a slow and solemn deliberation, "There | Himself or his sons could, indeed, toll them across was one little circumstance, however, connected it; but even then they went 'between a shy and a with the affair, I did not name to the brother. It skeer.' I had an interview with the dogs. They may not have much weight with the Conference, were so far from recognizing the cause of their fright but although it may be deemed of trifling import- that they enjoyed my presence and caresses as dogs ance I will state it: When I slept with the landlord's generally do. wife, as I told the brother, I kept the tavern myself!" THE following story from Alabama belongs to the next work on natural history, and is here inserted for the use of the author. It is testimony to be used in discussing the amount of reason that belongs to dogs: "1. The dogs did not think they had seen a ghost. They were alarmed by an unfamiliar object which might have the greatest power and will to hurt them. "2. The three witnesses of the 'sorry sight' communicated their terror to the following members of the pack, who changed their course to shun the danger. "3. A lasting impression was made upon the minds of that pack of hounds that that yard was not safe or comfortable at certain times. "4. They were not sufficiently endowed with reason to ascertain whether the frightful apparition was always there." **One summer evening, during the full of the moon, my evil destiny lodged me at one of the small, uncomfortable farm-houses in a certain county of Alabama. Myself and companion were put to sleep-if sleep we could-in the single soft and rather mouldy featherbed which occupied the larger part of a narrow, clap-boarded room at one end of the piazza. Saddles and harness, and the contents of sundry chests and barrels, contributed their quota to the general uncomfortableness of the atmosphere. Bed-bugs (they can reason, too, confound their-skins!) pursued their instincts in such wise as would have gladdened the heart of any philosophic observer. No breath of air came to our relief. The zephyrs found nothing inviting either in the door which opened upon the piazza or in the little square window-it might have been two feet by two-that looked out upon the sandy yard. These things, together with the toss-Scott was prosecuting, and the glibness with which ings of my bedfellow, the snorings of the family, separated from us only by an open pole partition, and the baying of a pack of hounds in the yard, produced their natural effect, which also some philosopher might have been pleased to observe. The experiment was eminently successful. I couldn't get to sleep. "Placing myself at the window, which allowed nothing of me to be seen but the head and the upper part of the naked shoulders, I wooed the breeze in vain. I was pallid with fatigue and restlessness. My spectacles gleamed strangely in the moonlight. Suddenly one of the vociferous pack darted round from the rear of the house. He had evidently intended to go straight across the yard; but catching a glimpse of the pale and glistening figure in the window, he recoiled with every appearance of amazement, stood for an instant cramped and rigid, and then, with a sharp, quick yell of terror, 'broke for the woods.' He was followed quickly by another, and another, each behaving in precisely the same way, except that their vanishing yells became more full of fear. I took pains to stand as motionless as possible; but I could easily see that the remaining dogs of the pack, instead of crossing the yard, skirted around it, keeping under the fence. "On relating my adventure next morning, the old man allowed the dogs thought they had seen a ghost. The old woman wished to good gracious the stranger had been jist a little grain uglier; he'd a gin the good-for-nothing, nasty, suck-egg critters sich a scare that they never would a come back agin.' 'Young hopeful,' however, resented the imputation upon the pluck of his dogs: they wa'n't to be skeered by the blinkest-eyed white man that ever lived, ghost or no ghost; and he was exceedingly anxious to re-establish their reputation by giving me a personal introduction by daylight to old Louder, who fortunately was 'nowhere.' "Sometime afterward the old man assured me his dogs carefully avoided the front-yard by moonlight. "MANY years ago I was sitting in the Criminal Court of Philadelphia, the Judges of which were Barton, Conrad, and Doran. The case then before the Court was for receiving stolen goods, and the criminal was a big, double-fisted Irishman, who had kept a sort of second-hand old iron store down in North Water Street, whom the police had been spotting for some time. His establishment was undoubtedly a regular school for young rogues. Bob the defendant's witnesses accounted for the existence of the various articles charged in the indictment as stolen rather alarmed Bob; he feared they would swear his case away, and a great villain would escape. Bob had a pride that way, and it seldom suffered a fall. A very pretty Irish girl was called to the stand, daughter of the prisoner. She proceeded to give a good account of how every thing had come into the possession of her father, which he was charged as receiving, knowing them to have been stolen. Among other things was a lot of bowieknives. "Now, Bridget,' said Scott, 'you say your father had these knives long before he came to Philadelphia. Now tell the jury, on your oath, where he bought them.' "Sure, yer Honor, he niver bought them at all, at all. They were a part of my mother's fortin, and we brought them wid us from ould Ireland.' Scott did not lose that case." THIS juvenile curiosity comes from Virginia : "Some years ago there resided in Mount Savage a Mrs. L, who had a little daughter, about three years old, who with her mother had braved the dangers of the stormy seas,' and was generally recognized as a bright, intelligent child. A few evenings after their arrival there was a party of young folks at a neighbor's house, and among the invited guests was Mrs. L's daughter, Annie. "After the different plays had been gone through, a committee was appointed to ascertain who were native born and who were foreigners of those composing the party. The committee having made the inquiry of several, turned to Annie with the question, 'Are you a native born or are you a foreigner?' Annie replied, 'I am a native born.' With that they all laughed heartily, knowing she had been in the country but a short time. "A lady present remarked, 'Why, Annie, how can you say so?—I thought you came from Wales.' Says Annie, So I did; still I am a native born-a was something wrong he had been unconsciously native of Wales."" A WRITER in Holly Springs, Mississippi, says: "Some time ago I met with a little book of poetry written by an old hard-shell' preacher of Alabama. I copied two of the pieces, which you are welcome to if you think they are worthy of a place in your Drawer. I give you the first, with his introductory remarks. "The reader may observe in the following how many things at the same time, in point of qualification and properties, that a poet has to have in view to do work that will bear inspection: "A poet that is qualified, And by the wise is justified, To know what's live and what is dead. "Poetical views that give the news, That tell of those that misconstrue, To show the sense, to make defense, In poet line that does refine. It is a gift, but having wit, The thing is sift before it's writ: Without he knows how to compose, "But having gift, and wit, and vent, And sounds, and bounds, and true accent, "In a child look not for style, But give it time for to compile; There must be age to have a stage, To draw a plate or pen a page.' making, broke forth, 'Well, master, I made it-but I'll never do it again!"" AN Ohio lawyer sends a notice of his first visit to the city: I commenced the practice of the law at Greensburg. At the expiration of the first year, with economy, I had laid by sixty dollars. I had no books but the statutes of the State and a Bible, and I concluded to go to Cincinnati and purchase some lawbooks. I had then never worn any clothes but linsey, and no hat but wool, which would not do to go to the city in. I ordered the best suit the country afforded. In about a week my clothes came home; the hat was made of coon fur, and out of mere curiosity I weighed it, and it weighed six pounds and a quarter! My coat and pants were of homemade cloth, colored with butternut. Thus equipped I started on horseback for the city, at which I arrived after two days' ride. I put up my horse and strolled around to see the sights. The rain had soaked my hat, and the brim fell down around my face, and the water ran off the heels of my boots in two small butternut-colored streams. "In a short time I found the boys following me. To avoid them I went into a store at one door and came out at another door, and I thought I had missed them; when, to my surprise, a little fellow poked his head around the corner and hallooed, 'Here he goes! and they were all after me again. I concluded this would never do; so I went into a Jew store and purchased an entire new suit, and when I came out the boys did not know me. "I had a friend in Covington whom I wished to visit. The ferry-boat not being quite ready to start, I lay down on a bench, and the day being hot, and much fatigued with my ride, I fell into a doze. When I had arrived at the other side of the river, as I supposed, I gave the ferryman a dime, out of which to take my fare; he started back in surprise, and told me that my fare was thirteen dollars and twenty-five "The other piece is on the discovery and power cents! And sure enough, I lay asleep on that bench of steam: The invention does excel Of steam that runs the craft, "It makes the boat appear As sov'reign on the wave; It masters all and makes them fear, "It gives the master force, And moves the heaviest weight; I Do not believe your especial pet, Master Charley, could get over a knotty question better than I heard an old German lady telling how a little boy, whose religious education had been somewhat neglected, got over the following stumper: "Who made the world?' said his teacher to him the first day he entered the village school. The little fellow shook his head and made no answer. Again the question was repeated, but in a sharper tone. No answer. The teacher, never doubting that it was pure stubbornness on the part of little Hans, now threatened to whip him soundly unless he immediately told him who made the world. This threat had the desired effect; an answer must be returned, and the trembling boy, not knowing what was meant by the world, but thinking doubtless it six hours, during which time the ferry-boat had crossed two hundred and seventy-five times, and each time the ferryman had marked it down with chalk on the side of the boat over my head! "I returned home without any books, and have never visited the city since." "BEING in the neighborhood of a negro camp meeting the past summer, held in Delaware County, I was persuaded by the ladies to go over and see the sights. One of the colored brethren, in the course of his sermon, thus delivered himself: "Sisters and brothers, God made a big ball of fire and chucked it right waar it is; and waar is de white or brack man dat daar says it's not right? If man had de placing of it, he would have it too near, and de men, animals, and rivers would all burn up before he could get it higher; den he would have it so high dat de men, animals, and rivers would all freeze to death before he could get it down.' He then went on to show that there was no difference between the white man and the negro. 'Dar is no difference between the white man and the nigger except in de color. God made dem so to beautify and varigate de world, de same as he made white and black pigs. Let de white man die and also de nigger, bury them both, den after a year dig up de white man and den dig up youselves, and den see if daar is any difference.'" |