Their outward behaviour. kinds of honour, fo it is an offence against natural decency, to fee children bear themselves upon the square with their parents, to anfwer them rudely, or to be wanting in respect, in looks or gesture, in words or deeds. So when parents, through fondness or want of judgment, take off the reftraint, remove the bars that example. Nor per kept their children at due distance, they too often Muft not be have reason to repent thereof: and if there be no fondled. miscarriage on it, it is not owing to their discretion, but to the grace of God working early in the childrens hearts. Children must not pry into the infirmities and failings of their parents, but conceal them. But that children may discharge this part of their duty better, as it is partly in the parents power, fo fhould it be their great care not to misbehave in fight of their children, nor fet them bad examples. The refpect is founded upon fome fuppofed excellency, Have no bad worth, and fome fuperiority, and when parents admit their children to an equality, and make them privy to their indifcretions, follies, and miscarriages, they invite contempt. This is very bad management. Much more, It is a point of the greatest folly for either father fuaded to fide or mother, as it too often is the cafe, to fupport the with one pa- children in contempt and disrespect to the other rent against this must never be attempted, it is indifcreet, and unjuft; for neither parent has authority to abfolve the children of their duty to the other parent. It may be that one of them is of evil fame or bad example; yet that does not excuse the child's duty or respect, who must honour them when they can neither be loved, obeyed, or imitated by their children; because, honouring parents is always in childrens power: confequently, though the cafe may be fo hard, that children shall not be able to pay obedience to the several or oppofite commands of their parents; yet it can never happen so that they shall not always be able to pay refpect to them both of this they must never fail; for neither parent can be injured by courteous behaviour. So that if one parent fhould be fo unreasonable to require the child to affront the other, the child would be fafe in a refpectful refufal; because no pa ́rent has a right of taking away another's right; and each of the other. ; them them have equal right to the respect of their children; it must indeed be paid to both, by all children: and it is a most wick→ ed thing for any parent to command or encourage any rude undutiful behaviour of the children to either of the parents, upon any provocation or account whatsoever. Muft obey. Why. III. What has been faid of keeping children at a distance, is also to be understood with caution and discretion; it does most commonly and naturally preferve refpect and honour, and therefore it is generally best to be obferved: but the different circumftances of parents, and the different tempers and difpofitions of children, may make great alteration. Tho' this is a certain principle: whilft children want understanding to direct their choice and will, they should have no will, but that of their parents; and therefore should obey till arrived at a more found judgment. Parents must be allowed to discern what is most proper for their children; and tho' they be now and then mistaken; yet it is always fafest to follow their commands and instructions, whose main end and purpose is to do them good; their care and study are fixt upon them; and often chufe to live penuriously, that their children may live at eafe; who can then sufpect their counfels or commands of want of love? Nothing can be plainer than that parents love their children dearly, and without defign, and are older, wifer, and more experienced; and therefore the fittest to command, and to be obeyed by their children; and for this reafon God makes it a command, and bids us honour our father and mother; so that the disobedient offends against command as well as reason ; against God as well as man: who, to fhow us how fit it is to obey our parents, calls himself our Father, and from that relation calls for our obedience likewife. Let then stubborn, headstrong children, confider the ties they have to be obedient to their parents, and they will find both pleasure and security in being fo: the approbation of all, and the bleffing of God goes along with it; whereas, nothing but trouble of mind, forrow, fhame, infamy, and the displeasure of Almighty God, attend disobedience to their good and wholesome commands, But But if the command of a parent is to do evil, our duty to God is to be preferred; for we must obey God rather than man. The commands of parents must not cause them to do, what God our heavenly Fa Except in particular cafes. ther forbids, or to neglect what he commands; because the authority of God is firft and greatest: nothing is to stand in competition with it. But even in this cafe, the command of God must be plain and evident; not a doubtful or difputed thing. Nay as certain as that obedience is due to the commands of parents; yet we are not to obey our parents when they command things contrary to the laws of the land, the publick good being to be preferred to private inclinations. In cafe of marriage. IV. In case of marriage, children must endeavour to obtain the consent of their parents; for it is exprefsly faid, that they shall honour and obey them; and to reconcile marrying against confent, with honouring their parents; or marrying against command, with obeying them, is vain, when there is a juft reason for the parents refufal. And if the fon would marry against the confent of the parent, or the father obtrude a match on the son, the plain refolution is in each cafe, the father and May not be fon have feverally a negative; for notwithstanding parents have a great authority, yet they may abufe it; they are not incapable of doing injury to their children who are to be fubject to their parents, but not flaves to their paffions. In like manner, obliged. V. He that fuffers wrong, may alfo be righted: May go to the laws of God do not forbid this; and the laws law. of the land are free and impartial; they make no difference of perfons, know no relation; juftice is, in this refpect, to be blind: and a fon or daughter may, without offence of God's law, appeal to the laws of the land, against their parents in fome cafes; as for matters of contract, eftate, inheritance, or money, when the child cannot live without it: but for a light injury, or any thing eafy to be borne, a child fhould not implead his parent: the hardship must be near intolerable; the injuftice great and preffing, when a man's confcience can permit him to go to law with his parent; it should therefore be plain that the parent is much in the wrong, vio lating the laws of nature, and putting off the parental love and tenderness, before a child fhould feek for juftice. When. Nevertheless, this duty is fomewhat altered in the case of mothers, when they haften to fecond marriages prejudicial to the children of the former husband. The reafon of going to law with them will appear more urgent than with fathers, or with mothers, continuing in the state of widowhood; because they have tranflated their affection and intereft to another family, and most of the comforts, arifing from fuch contefted money, go to ftrangers, to whom the children have no obligation of parental duty: and that piety in children that would permit the mother to enjoy, in peace and quiet, what was in justice none of her's, need not be fcrupulous of recovering it from her, fince fhe is transferring it to utter ftrangers, and can hope for not the leaft advantage by it. During her widowhood, fhe is their mother still, and they are all of one family; fhe is prefumed to intend their advantage; and all she has is looked on as theirs; and if she through covetous defire, or peevishness, will retain what does not belong to her, the children, if it can confift with their welfare, may bear with lofs for the present, fince it will be theirs at last, rather than give their parent trouble by going to law; but when a new affection intervenes, then the profpect is disturbed, and the new wife is fuppofed to make herself acceptable to her new choice, by carrying with her all the advantages of fortune she can get, and in fuch cafes, often forgets her children and former love: in this case, when the reason is manifeft, and the occafion juft, the fuit may be commenced, but must be managed with all imaginable care and tenderness. In what manner. Another inftance of duty which children owe their parents, is to minifter to all their wants under the infirmi them. ties of body, the decay of understanding, and the Muft help poverty of their condition. Supporting is a fcripture-notion of honouring: as St Paul distinguishes this duty of fuccouring parents under their neceffities by the name of piety. Let children or nephews firft learn to fhew piety at home, and to requite their parents; and the refufal to provide for those of his own house is loaded with heavy guilt, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. The wicked jews indeed made the word of God of none effect by their vows and traditions, and cancelling this duty: but on the contrary, God will caufe dutiful behaviour to parents to recommend us to the good opinion of others, there being nothing makes men more acceptable to others, than fuch obedient behaviour: it is an ornament of a rich and noble child, and the best recommendation of the poor to favour, pity, and relief, to be known that they are helpful to their diftreffed parents. The author of Ecclefiafticus, exhorting to be helpful to parents, tells the children they fhall find their accounts in fo doing: my fon (fays he) help thy father in his age, and grieve him not as long as he liveth; and if his understanding fail, have patience with him, and defpife him not, when thou art in thy full ftrength: for the relieving of thy father shall not be forgotten, and, instead of fins, it shall be added to build thee up; in the day of affliction it shall be remembred. Nurse them. pa VI. Hence it cannot be very difficult to collect Parents muft that there is a duty alfo incumbent upon the parent to the child. A duty that is taught by nature, and enforced by the strongest terms in the gofpel, which begins the moment we are born, and never can be difpenfed with so long as the child liveth, and is not wanting in his duty to his rents. For, did we only view the natural care of the very brutes for their young, it must be granted that the flothful, over-nice, or unnatural mother, must read her own conviction, who neglecting or difdaining to nurse her own child, when able, fhall confess that the God of nature ordained that creature, who is bleffed with a living offfpring, to give the fame it's firft nourishment. Thus much nature demands on the very first appearance of the child, And, When we confider that the new born babe is Bring them full of the stain and pollution of fin, which it into baptifm. herits from our first parents through our loins, for all men are conceived and born in fin, and before his age is a day long, he is full of corruption; how diligent should the parent be in bringing the child to that baptifm, which was or |