Doct. Here, my lord. Duke. Al, 'tis near spent. But, doctor Benedict, does your art speak truth? Duke. Uncurtain her. Softly, sweet doctor. What a coldish heat Doct. The vital spirits, that by a sleepy charm Duke. Some stools. You called For music, did you not? oh, ho, it speaks, Doctor, sit down: a dukedom that should weigh Own down twice, being put into one scale, Did not mine enemies blood boil in his veins, Inf. I remember I sat at banquet; but felt no such change. Inf. What raessenger? who's dead? Duke. Hipolito. Alack, wring not thy hands! 2 Ser. Yes, indeed, madam. Duke. La' you now 'tis well, God knows. der me. 13 Beg me for a fool.-Sir William Blackstone, in his Commentaries, vol. i. p. 303. says: “ By the old common law there is a writ de idiota inquirendo, to enquire whether a man be an idiot or not: which must be tried by a jury of twelve men; and, if they find him. purus idiota, the profits of his lands, and the custody of his person, may be granted by the king to some subject who has interest enough to obtain them." And he observes, that this power, though of late very rarely exerted, is still alluded to in common speech by that usual expression of begging a man for a fool. 14 In the deadst of feasting. i. e. in the midst; taken from the vulgar expression concerning night, saying in the dead of night, for the middle of it. S. P. Duke. A coach is ready; Bergamo doth stand In a most wholsome air; sweet walks; there's deer. Aye, thou shall hunt and send us venison, To stand, and how to shoot: aye, she shall hunt. Duke. Follow it close. [Exit. No words that she was buried, on your lives, 1 Ser. I'll speak Greek, my lord, ere I speak 2 Ser. And I'll speak Welch, which is harder than Greek. [Exeunt. Duke. Away, look to her.-Doctor Benedict, Did you observe how her complexion alter'd Upon his name and death? O! would 'twere true! Doct. It may, my lord. Duke. May! How? I wish his death, Duke. Greatness hides sin; the guilt upon my SCENE IV. Enter CASTRUCHIO, PIORATTO, and FLUELLO. Cast. Signior Pioratto, signior Fluello, shall's be merry? shall's play the wag now? Fluel. Aye, any thing that may beget the child of laughter. Cast. Truth, I have a pretty sportive conceit new crept into my brain, will move excellent mirth. Pior. Let's ha't, let's ha't; and where shall the scene of mirth lie? Cast. At signior Candido's house, the patient man; nay, the monstrous patient man. They say his blood is immoveable; that he has taken all patience from a man, and all constancy from a woman. Fluel. That makes so many whores now-a-days. Cast. To conclude; the report goes, he's so mild, so affable, so suffering, that nothing indeed can move him. Now, do but think what sport it will be to make this fellow (the mirror of patience) as angry, as vext, and as mad as an English cuckold. Fluel. O! 'twere admirable mirth, that: but how will't be done, signior? Cast. Let me alone; I have a trick, a conceit, a thing, a device will sting him, 'faith, if he have but a thimbleful of blood in his belly, or a spleen not so big as 17 a tavern token. Pior. Thou stir him! thou move him! thou anger him! Alas! I know his approved temper. Doct. And you may have your wish: say but Thou vex him! why he has a patience above the word, And 'tis a strong spell to rip up his grave. Doct. It shall be done, although the fact be man's injuries; thou may'st sooner raise a spleen in an angel than rough humour in him. Why, I'll give you instance for it: this wonderfully temper'd signior Candido upon a time invited home to his house certain Neapolitan lords, of curious taste, and no mean palates, 18 conjuring his wife of all loves, to prepare cheer fitting for such honourable trenchermen. She (just of a woman's nature, covetous to try the utterinost of 15 I'd kneel.—Áll the editions read I'll kneel. 17 A tavern token.-During the reign of Queen Elizabeth, and from thenceforward to that of Charles the Second, very little brass or copper-money was coined by authority. For the convenience of trade, victuallers and other tradesmen, without any restriction, were therefore permitted to coin small money, or tokens as they were called, which were used for change. These tokens were very small pieces, and probably at first coined chiefly by tavern-keepers; from whence the expression a tavern token might have been originally derived. Amongst other cant phrases to describe drunkenness, it appears from Philocothonista, 1635, p. 60. that to swallow a tavern token was one. So Cob, in Every Man in his Humour, A. 1. S. 4. says, in answer to Master Matthew's question: "Was he drunk ?” “ Drunk, sir? you hear not me say so. Perhaps he swallowed a tavern token, or some such device, sir, I have nothing to do withal." 18 Conjuring his wife of all loves-See Note 95 to Gammer Gurton's Needle, p. 130 vexation, and thinking at last to get the start of his humour) willingly neglected the preparation, and became unfurnish'd not only of dainty, but of ordinary dishes. He (according to the mildness of his breast) entertained the lords, and with courtly discourse beguiled the time, as much as a citizen might do. To conclude; they were hungry lords, for there came no meat in; their stomachs were plainly gull'd, and their teeth deluded, and (if anger could have seized a man) there was matter enough, 'faith, to vex any citizen in the world, if he were not too much made a fool by his wife. Fluel. Aye, I'll swear for't: 'sfoot, had it been my case, I should ha' played mad tricks with my wife and family; first, I would ha' spitted the men, stewed the maids, and baked the mistress, and so served them in. Pior. Why, 'twould ha' temper'd any blood but his ; And thou to vex him; thou to anger him With some poor shallow jest! Cast. S'blood, signior Pioratto (you that disparage my conceit) I'll wage a hundred ducats upon the head on't, that it moves, frets him, and galls him. Pior. Done: 'tis a lay; 19 join golls on't. Witness signior Fluello. Cast. Witness: 'tis done. Come follow me: the house is not far off. SCENE V. [Exeunt. Geo. Faith, signior, he's a little negociated; he'll appear presently. Cast. Fellow, let's see a lawn, a choice one, sirrah. Geo. The best in all Milan, gentlemen, and this is the piece. I can fit you, gentlemen, with fine callicoes too for doublets; the only sweet fashion now, most delicate and courtly: a meek gentle callico, cut upon two double affable taffatas: ah, most neat, feat, and unmatchable. Fluel. A notable voluble-tongued villain. Pior. I warrant this fellow was never begot without much prating. Cast. What, and is this she, say'st thou ? Geo. Aye, and the purest she that ever you fingered since you were a gentleman: look how even she is; look how clean she is; ha! as even as the brow of Cynthia, and as clean as your sonsand-heirs when they ha' spent all. Cast. Puh! thou talk'st-Pox on't, 'tis rough. Geo. How! Is she rough? But, if you bid pox on't, sir, 'twill take away the roughness presently. Fluel. Ha, signior, has he fitted your French curse? Geo. Look you, gentlemen, here's another; compare then, I pray: compara Virgilium cum Homero, compare virgins with harlots. Cast. Puh! I ha' seen better; and as you term them, evener and cleaner. Geo. You may see farther for your mind, but trust me you shall not find better for your body. Enter CANDIDO. Cast. O! here he comes: let's make as though we pass. Enter CANDIDO's Wife, GEORGE, and two'Pren Come, come, we'll try in some other shop. tices in the Shop. Wife. Come you, put up your wares in good order here: do you not think, you, one piece cast this way, another that way, you had need have a patient master indeed? Geo. Aye, I'll be sworn, for we have a curst mistress. Wife. You mumble! Do you mumble? I would your master or I could be a note more angry : for two patient folks in a house spoil all the servants that ever shall come under them. 1'Prentice. You patient! aye, so is the devil when he is horn-mad. Enter CASTRUCHIO, FLUELLO, and PIORATTO. All three. Gentlemen, what do you lack? what is't you buy? See fine hollands, fine cambricks, fine lawns. Geo. What is't you lack? 2 'Prentice. What is't you buy? Cast, Where's signior Candido, thy master? Can. How now? what's the matter? And that makes you to let 'em pass away. Cast. Makes the better for the jest. Can. I pray come near. You're very welcome, gallants; Pray pardon my man's rudeness, for I fear me Take this, upon my honest-dealing faith, Can. Very conscionably; eighteen shillings a yard. Cast. That's too dear. How many yards does the whole piece contain, think you? 19 Join golls-i e. hands. Cast. Of lawn? aye, of lawn, a penn'orth. 'Sblood, do'st not hear? a whole penn'orth: are you deaf? Can. Deaf! no, sir: but I must tell you, Our wares do seldom meet such customers. Cast. Nay, an you and your lawns be so squeamish, fare you well. Can. Pray stay; a word, pray signior! for what purpose is it, I beseech you? Cast. 'Sblood, what's that to you? I'll have a penn'orth. Can. A penny-worth! why you shall: I'll serve you presently. Should be nor man, nor woman? not once mov'd; Fluel. Come, come, you're angry, though you smother it; You're vex'd, i'faith-confess. Should you conceit me to be vex❜d or moved? Fluel. Oh! but the hateful name of a penny- And then cut out i' the middle of the piece, Can. Well, give me leave to answer you for We're set here to please all customers, May be his mind stood to no more than that; Deny a penn'orth, it may cross a pound. 2 'Prentice. 'Sfoot, a penny-worth, mistress! Mistress. A penny-worth! call you these gen-Oh! he that means to thrive, with patient eye tlemen? Cast. No, no; not there. Can. What then, kind gentleman? what, at this corner here? Cast. No, nor there neither; I'll have it just in the middle, or else not. Can. Just in the middle !-ha-you shall too: what, Have you a single penny Cast. Yes, here's one. ? Can. Lend it me, I pray. Fluel. An excellent followed jest. Wife. What, will he spoil the lawn now? Wife. Aye, that patience makes a fool of you. Gentlemen, you might ha' found some other citizen to have made a kind gull on, besides my husband. Can. Pray, gentlemen, take her to be a woman; Do not regard her language-O! kind soul, Such words will drive away my customers. Wife. Customers with a murrain! Call you these customers? Can. Patience, good wife. Geo. 'Sfoot, mistress, I warrant these are some cheating companions. Can. Look you, gentlemen, there's your ware; Can. Let me take more of your money. Pior. Hark in thine ear; thou'st lost an hun dred ducats. Must please the devil, if he come to buy. How blest were men, if women could be so! pleased, And satisfied in all-George, fill a beaker. [Exit GEORGE. Cast. Well, well, I know't: is't possible that I wish your custom; you're exceeding welcome: Homo Cast. 20 I pledge you, signior Candido-Here you, that must receive an hundred ducats. Pior. I'll pledge them deep, i'faith, Castruchio, Signior Fluello. Fluel. Come; play't off to me, I am your last man. Can. George, supply the cup. Fluel. So, so, good honest George! Here, Signior Candido, all this to you. Can. Oh, you must pardon me, I use it not. Can. Yes, but not that: Great love is shown in little. Come hither, George, hye to the constable, Flucl. Blurt on your sentences-'Sfoot, you 'Tis but a size above a jest, thou knowest; shall pledge me all. Can. Indeed I shall not. Fluel. Not pledge me? 'Sblood, I'll carry away the beaker then. Can. The beaker! Oh, that at your pleasure, sir. Cast. Pledge him, he'll do't else. 21 Therefore pursue it mildly. Go, begone; you not now? Wife. O you're a goodly patient woodcock : are [Exit GEORGE. See what your patience comes to. Every one saddles you, and rides you; you'll be shortly the Fluel. So I ha' done you right 2 on my thumb common stone-horse of Milan: a woman's well : nail. What, will you pledge me now? Can. You know me, sir, I am not of that sin. I'll bear away the beaker, by this light. Can. That's as you please, 'tis very good. Can. You're welcome, gentlemen. I think his patience is above our wit. [Exeunt. holped up with such a 22 meacock. I had rather have a husband, that would swaddle me thrice a day, than such a one, that will be gull'd twice in half an hour. Oh, I could burn all the wares in my shop for anger! Can. Pray wear a peaceful temper; be my wife, That is, be patient: for a wife and husband Share but one soul between them: this being known, Why should not one soul then agree in one? [Erit. 20 I pledge you, signior Candido—The following account of the forms prescribed in Health-drinking in our author's time, is taken from "The Irish Hubbub, or the English Hue and Crie," by Barnaby Rich, 1623, p. 24. He calls it, The Ruffingly Order of drinking Healths used by the Spendalls of this age. “He "that beginnes the health, hath his prescribed orders: first uncovering his head, hee takes a full cup in "his hand, and setting his countenance with a grave aspect, hee craves for audience: silence being once "obtained, he beginnes to breath out the name peradventure of some honourable personage, that is wor"thy of a better regard, theu to have his name polluted at so unfitting a time amongst a company of "drunkards: but his health is drunke to, and he that pledgeth must likewise off with his cap, kisse his "fingers, and bowing himselfe in signe of a reverent acceptance; when the leader sees his follower thus "prepared, hee sups up his broath, turnes the bottom of the cup upward, and in ostentation of his dea"terite, gives the cup a phillip to make it cry Twango. And thus the first scene is acted. "The cup being newly replenished to the breadth of an haire, he that is the pledger must now beginne "his part, and thus it goes round throughout the whole company, provided alwayes by a canon set downe "by the founder, there must be three at the least still uncovered, till the health hath had the full pas 66 sage which is no sooner ended, but another begins againe, and hee drinkes an health to his Lady of "little worth, or perad venture to bis light- hele'd mistres." 21 On my thumb nail.-See Note 6 to Gammer Gurton's Needle, p. 102 22 Meacock-1. e. a timorous, dastardly creature. See Taming of the Shrew, A. 2. S. 1. and Mr Steevens'a Note thereon. Again, Hall's Chronicle, Henry IV. fol 6: "-depravynge and railyng on Kynge Richarde as an inno66 cent, a meacocke, and not worthy to beare the name of a kynge.” Euphues, p. 41: "But hapely thou wilt say, if I refuse their curtesie I shall be accounted a mecock, a milksop, taunted and retaunted, &c." Tarlton's News out of Purgatory, p. 39: "because he was a meacocke, and a milksoppe, not daring to "draw his sword to revenge her wrongs." 66 Churchyard's Worthines of Wales, p. 39. edit. 1776: "Let us therefore give the charge, and oncet upon yonder effeminate and meycocke people." |