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Amp. O sir, the pride and scorns with which Languish, and die with me.
E. Pal. How! die with you! Did entertain my passions and regard,
[Takes Lucy aside. Have worn my easy heart away; my breast 'Twere fit you hastened her to write down all Is emptier than mine eyes, that have distilled She can bestow, and in some form of law: Their balls to funeral dew. It is too late. I fear she's mad; her senses are so lost, Lucy. Ginet, my fears have in them too much She'll never find them to her use again, prophecy;
Lucy. I pray sir, why? I told thee she would ne'er recover.
E. Pal. Did you not hear what a fantastic Gin. For my poor part, I wish no easier bed
Amp. Luce, Luce ! intreat the gentleman to sit. Lucy. Does this request seem strange? you
will do little
For a lady, that deny to bring her Amp. That you may see your scorns could not Onward her last journey; or is't your thrift? persuade
Alas, you know, souls travel without charge.
E. Pal. er little skull is tainted too.
E. Pal. My best, dear lady, I am willing to
Resign myself to any thing but death.
I've business upon earth, will hold me here
Consent, yes let me witness so much love
Lucy. Can you do less than languish for her Report she died beholden to you.
Bring you low enough.
And grief is to begin upon me now? Almost forgot the benefit of light?
Heaven knows how I have pined and groaned, E. Pal. Not love! lady! Queen of my heart !
since first what oaths
Your letter gave me knowledge of the cause. Or execrations can persuade your faith
Lucy. It is not seen, sir, in your face. From such a cruel jealousy?
E Pal. My face ! I grant you, I bate inwardly; Amp. I'd have some testimony, sir; if but I'm scorched and dried, with sighing, to a mumTo assure the world, my love, and bounty at
my : My death, were both conferred on one that shew'd My heart and liver are not big enough So much requital, as declares he was
To choke a daw. A lamb laid on the altar for Of gentle human race.
A sacrifice hath much more entrails in't. E. Pal. What shall I do?
Lucy. Yet still your sorrow alters not your face.
E. Pal. Why no, I say; no man that ever was
Gin. Great pity, sir.
E. Pal. Though I endured the diet and the Amp. That trial of your love which I request,
flux, Implies no danger, sir; 'tis not in me
Lay seven days buried up to the lips like a
Afflicted female wipes his salt foam off
For his sallad, and pulp of salsa for
Amp. Yet you are used, sir, to bate inwardly?
E. Pal. More than heirs unlanded, or unjoin- Amp. Will you permit the last of all
my hours tured wives.
Should be defiled with infamy, proclaimed
By lewder tongues to be unchaste, even at
My death? What will my guardian guess, to find Eng. What shall we do? Sir Tyrant Thrift's You here? come home.
E. Pal. No more, I'll in ; but think on't, gentle E. Pal. Sir Tyrant Thrift !
lady: Lucy. My lady's guardian, sir.
First to bate inwardly, and then to have Amp. He ineets the expected hour, just to my My outward person shut thus and enclosed wish.
From day-light, and your company; I say, Lucy. What, hath he brought a husband for But think, it't be not worse than death. my lady?
(He enters the Chest. Eng. There is a certain one-legged gentleman, Amp. Lock him up, Luce, safe as thy maidenWhose better balf of limbs is wood; for whom
head. Kind nature did provide no hands to prevent Stealing; and, to augment his gracefuluess,
Enter Sir Tyrant Thrift, He's crooked as a witches pin.
Thrift. Engine, where's my charge, Engine, my Lucy. Is he so much wood?
dear charge? Eng. So much, that if my lady were in health, Eng. Sick, as I told you, sir; and lost to all And married to him, as her guardian did The hope that earthly med'cine can procure; Propose, we should have an excellent generation Her physicians have taken their last fees, Of bed-staves,
And then went hence shaking their empty heads, Lucy. When does he come?
As they had left less brain than hope. Eng. To-night, if his slow litter will consent; Thrift. Alas, poor charge ! come, let me see For they convey him tenderly, lest his
her, Engine. Sharp bones should grate together. Sir Pallatine,
Lucy. At distance, sir, I pray; for I have I wish you could escape my master's sight.
heard E. Pal. Is he coming hither?
Your breath is somewhat sour with overfasting, Eng. He's at the door. My lady's sickness was
sir, No sooner told him, but he streight projects On holiday eves. To proffer her a will of his own making :
Thrift. Ha! what is she, Engine? He means, sir, to be heir of all. If he
Eng. A pure good svul, one that your ward Should see you here, he would suspect my loyalty,
And reads to her all night the posy of
Thrift. Does she not gape for legacies? For you, and your great hopes, with my depeo- Eng. Fie, no; there's a cornelian ring, perhaps, dency
She aims at, cost ten groats; or a wrought smock, On both, to have you absent when my lady dies; My lady made now 'gainst her wedding, sir ; I know you must have all. Sir, I could wish Trifles, which maids desire to weep upon That we might hide you here.
With funeral tales, after a midnight posset. Draw out the chest within, that's big enough Thrift. Thou said'st below, she hath made me To hold you; it were dangerous to have
her heir, My lady's guardian to find you, sir.
Eng. Of all, even to her slippers and her pins, [They draw in a Chest. Amp. Luce, inethought, Luce, I heard my guarE, Pal. How ! laid up like a brush'd gown,
dian's voice. under lock
Eng. It seems her senses are grown warm And key! by this good light, not I.
again; Lucy. O sir, if but to save the honour of Your presence will recover her. Your mistress' fame : what will he think to see Thrift. Will it recover her? then I'll be gone. So comely and so streight a gentleman
Eng. No, sir; she'll streight grow cold again. Converse here with a lady in her chamber?
Thrift. Alas, poor charge! I little thought to
This doleral day! Gin. It is retirement, sir; and you'll come Amp. We all are mortal, sir. forth
Thrift. I're taken care and labour to provide Again so sage!
A husband for thee; he's in's litter now,
Hastening to town; a fine young gentleman,
With falls his mother took after his making. I'll have no more : nor, d you hear, no burnt Amp. Death is my husband now; but yet I thank
I do not like this drinking healths to the memory You for your tender pains, and wish you would O’ the dead; it is prophane. Continue it, in quiet governing my legacies. Eng. You are obeyed : When I am past the power to see it, sir, But, sir, let me advise you now, to trust You shall enjoy all.
The care and benefit of all your fate Thrift. This will occasion more church build- Presents you in this house, to my discretion;
And get you instantly to borse again. And raising of new hospitals; there were
Thrift. Why, Engine? speak. Enow before; but, Charge, you'll have it so. Eng. In brief: you know, that all Amp. I'll make, sir, one request; which I have The writings which concern your ward's estate hope
Lie at her lawyer's, fifteen miles froin hence. You'll grant, in thankfulness to all my bounty. Your credit, he not knowing, sir, she's sick, Thrift. O, dear Charge! any thing: your cou- Will easily tempt them to your own possession : sin here
Which, once enjoyed, you're free from all liugiShall witness the consent and act.
ous suits Amp. Because I would not have my vanities His envy might incense her kindred to. Remain, as fond examples, to persuade
Thrift. Enough, Engine; I am gone. An imitation in those ladies that
Eng. If you should meet the cruoked lover in Succeed my youthful pride i'the town:my plumes, His litter, sir, (as 'tis your own road) Fantastic flowers, and chains; my haughty rich You may persuade him move like a crah, backEmbroideries, my gaudy gowns, and wanton jewels,
ward; I have locked within a chest.
For here's no mixture but with worms. Lucy. There, sir, there the chest stands. Thrift. 'Tis well thought on, Engive; farewell, Amp. And I desire it may be buried with me. Engine : Thrift. Engine, take care, Engine, to see it done. Be faithful, and be rich. Amp. Now, sir, I beseech you leave me: for Eng. My breeding and 'twill
Good-manners, sir, teach me t'attend your bounty. But make my death more sorrowful, thus to Thrift. But, Engine, I could wish she would be Continue my converse with one I so Much love, and must forsake at last.
To die to-night. Thrift. Alack, alack !- Bury ber to-night, En. Eng. Alas, yood soul! I'll undertake gine.
She shall do any thing to please you, sir. Eng. Not, sir, unless she dies. Her ancestors
[Erit Turist Have sojourned long here in St Barthol'mews, Amp. Engine, thou hast wrought above the power And there's a vault i'the parish church, kept only Of accident or art. For her family; she must be buried there. Eng. If you consider't with a just Thrift. Aye, Engine, aye : and, let me see; the And lib'ral brain : first, to prevent church,
The access and tedious visits of the fiend, Thou know'st, joins to my house; a good preven- His love-sick monster; and then rid hinu hence tion
Upon a journey, to preserve this house From a large walk; 'twill save the charge of Empty, and free to celebrate the rest torch-light.
Of our designs. Eng. What funeral guests? the neighbours, sir, Lucy. This, Engine, is thy holiday.will look
[Lucy knocks at the Chest. To be invited.
What hoa! Sir Pallatine, are you within? Thrift. No more than will suffice
E. Pal. Is Sir Tyrant Thrift gone ? open, lady, To carry down the corpse; and, thou know'st,
Lucy. The casement, sir, I will a little, to She is no great weight.
Increase your witship's allowance of air; Eng. And what to entertain them, sir?
(Opens a wicket at the end of the Chest. Thrift. A little rosemary, which thou may't But th' troth, for liberty of limbs, you may steal
As soon expect it in a galley, sir,
Lucy. Sir Launcelot,
You may believ't, if your discreet faith please. Is a most fierce devourer, sir, of plumbs : This tenement is cheap; here you shall dwell, Six will destroy as many as can make
Keep home, and be no wanderer. A banquet for an army.
E. Pul. The pox take me if I like this; sure, Thrift. I'll have no more, Engine,
Th' advice of th' ancients is but asked, they'll say Your Turin and your Tuscan veal; with red
Eng. With your broad liver o' the Venetian E. Pal. The Lady Ample !
goose, Iler veil's off too, and in the lusty garb
Fattened by a Jew; and your aged carp,
Amp. Lucy, Gin. All this maintained, sir, by
Eng. And then you talked, sir, of your snails Amp. Couldst thou believe,
Your Malamucka melons, and Cicilian dates;
And then to close your proud voluptuous maw, Lucy. Pal!, come in, Pall, 'tis done; the spa- Marinalade, made by the cleanly nuns of Lisbon. cious man
Amp. Lucy. Gin. And still thus feasted by your Of land is now contented with his own length.
wits. Amp. Your brother's come to see you, sir. E. Pal. Deafened with tyranny! is there no E. Pal. Brother! mad girls these! couldst thou end? believ't, sirrah?
Amp. Yes, sir, an end of you; you shall be now I am coffined up like a salmon pie,
Conveyed into a close dark vault; there keep New sent from De'nshire for a token. Come, My silent grandsire company, and all Break up the chest.
The music of your groans engross to your own Y. Pal. Stay, brother; whose chest is it? E. Pal. Thou'lt ask more questions than a con- E. Pal. How! buried, and alive! stable
Y. Pal. Brother, your hand. In's sleep; pr’ythee dispatch.
Farewell; I'm for the north: the fame of this Y. Pal. Brother, I can
Your voluntary death, will there he thought But mark the malice and the
Pure courtesy to me; I mean to take Your nature; I am no sooner exalted
Possession, sir, and patiently converse To rich possessions and a glorious mein, With all those hinds, those herds, and flocks, But straight you tempt me to a forfeiture That you disdained in fulness of your wit. Of all; to commit felony, break open chests. Lucy. Help, Pall, to carry him; he takes it E. Pal. O for Dame Patience, the fool's mis- heavily. tress!
E. Pal. I'll not endur't:-fire ! murder! fire! Y. Pal. Brother, you have prayed well; Hea- treason ! ven send her you:
Murder! treason! fire!
The house contains none but ourselves.
[Ereunt, carrying out the Chest, Enjoying goodly ladies six yards high, With satio trains behind them, ten yarus long.
Enter Thwack, Pert, Meager. Amp. Clothed all in purple, and einbroidered Pert. We bring you, sir, commends from Palwith
latine. Embossments wrought in imagery, the works Thwack. I had as lieve y' had brought it from Of the ancient poets drawn into similitude,
the devil, And cunning shape.
Together with his horns boiled to a jelly, Gin. And this attained, sir, by your wits. For a cordial against lust. Y. Pal. Nothing could please your haughty Mea. We mcan the Younger Pallatine; one, palate, but
sir, The muscatelli, and Frontiniac grape;
That loves your person, and laments this chance,
39 Then Trojans, 8c.—Two lines of an ancient ballad.
40 Your angelots of Brie-Skinver, in his Etymologicon, voce Angelot, says, that the cheese known by that name is brought from Normandy; and he supposes it to have been so called from some person of the name of Angelot or Angelo, who first made, and perhaps impressed it with his owo name, or mark,
Which his false brother hath exposed you to. Of strange dire news; you shall disperse them, Pert. And, as we told you, sir, by his command,
Pert. Most faithfully. We have compounded with the constable,
Thwack. That there are lents six years long, In whose dark house you're now a prisoner.
proclaimed by the state: But, sir, take't on my faith, you must disburse; That our French and Deal wines are poisoned so For gold is a restorative, as well
With brimstone, by the Hollander, that they To liberty as health. 41
Will only serve for med'cine, to recover Thwack. And you believe,
Children of the itch : and there is not left It seems, that your small, tiny officer
Sack enough to mull for a parson's cold.
Thwack. That our theatres are razed down; With bideous voice and face?
and where Pert. Even so the moderns render it.
They stood, hoarse midnight lectures preached Thwack. But, gentlemeu, you ask a hundred
by wives pounds;
Of comb-makers, and midwires of Tower-wharf. 'Tis all I've left.
Pert, 'Twill take impregnably. Pert. Sir, do but think what a
Thwack. And that a new plantation, sir, mark Prodigious blemish it will be, both to
me, Your ingenuity and fame, to be.
Is made i’ the Covent Garden, from the sutlery Betrayed by one, that is believed no wittier than O'the German camps and the suburbs of Paris; Yourself, and lie imprisoned for a bawd. Where such a salt disease reigns, as will make Thwack. Sir, name it not; you kill nue through Sassafras dearer than unicorns' born.
Pert. This cannot chuse but fright the gentry I'd rather, sir, you'd take my mother from
hence, Her grave, and put her to do penance in And more impoverish the town, than a Her winding-sheet. There is the sum.
Subversion of their fair of Bartholomew, Mea. I'll in, sir, and discharge you.
The absence of the terms and court,
(Exit Meager. Thwack. You shall, if my projections thrive, in Thwack. These carnal mulcts and tributes are less, designed
Sir, than a year,
horses in Only to such vain people as have land;
The New Exchange, and graze them in the Old. Are you and your friend landed, sir? Pert. Such land as we can share, sir, in the map.
Enter Younger PALLATINE, MEAGER, QUEA• Thwack. Lo you there now! These live by
SY, SNORE, Mrs SNORE. their wits :
Pert. Jog off; there's Pall, treating for your Why should not I take the next key I meet,
liberty. And open this great head, to try if there
Y. Pal. The canopy, the hangings, and the Be any brains left, but sour curds and plumbo
Are worth more than your rent; come, you're Cozened in my youth; cozened in my age !
overpaid; Sir, do you judge, if I have cause to curse Besides, the gentleman's betrayed; he is no bawd. This false inhuman town. When I was young, Snore. Truly, a very civil gentleman; I was arrested for a stale commodity
'Las, he hath only roared, and sworn, and cursed, Of nut-crackers, long gigs, and casting-tops : Since he was ta'en; no bawdry, I'll assure ye. Now I am old, imprisoned for a bawd.
Mrs Snore. Gossip Queasy, what a good 'yer 43 Pert. These are sad tales.
would ye have? Thuack. I will write down to the country, to Quea. I am content, if you and I were friends. dehort 42
Y. Pal. Come, come, agree; 'tis I that ever The gentry from coming hither, letters
41 For gold is a restorative, as well
To liberty as health—Anthony Wood says, that Dr William Butler, the great physician of Cambridge, coming to visit Francis Tresham, “ as bis fashion was, gave him a piece of very pure gold to put in his mouth; and upon taking out that gold, Butler said he was poisoned.”-1. Athene Oxon. 349. 'Potable gold appears to have been a considerable article in the Materia Medica. In Baker's Practice of the nex and old Phisick, 1599, p. 440, &c. it is esteemed a specific in a vast number of disorders.)
42 Dehort—i. e. advise against, to dissuade. S.
p. 1778. S.