Prepared all from our numbered pence; if it Mea. If I have more left to maintain a large And a long bladder, than one comely shilling, Y. Pal. Do you suspect my prophecies, Pert. Pall, no suspicions, Pall; but we that Our whole stock in one vessel, would be glad Mea. How fares the intelligence? Y. Pal. I left them at the Lady Ample's house; This street they needs must pass, if they reach home. Pert. O I would fain project 'gainst the old knight; Can we not share him too? Y. Pal. This wheel must move Alone, Sir Morglay Thwack's too rugged yct, He'd interrupt the course; a little more O' the file will smooth him fit to be screwed up. Pert. Shrink off, Pall, I hear them. Enter THWACK, Elder PALLATINE. E. Pal. Thou hast not the art of patient lei sure, to Attend the aptitude of things; wouldst thou Thwack. But, Pallatine, I do not find I have [PERT and MEAGER take Elder PALLATINE aside. Y. Pal. Now my fine Pert! Pert. Sir, we have business for your ear; it may Concern you much, therefore 'tis fit it be E. Pal. From whom? Mea. A young lady, sir. It is a secret will exact much care E. Pal. A young lady! good! All the best stars in the firmament are mine. In the city, and be hanged for a tavern bush! For none but their dear selves? I hear them name a lady. E. Pal. You heard them say then, she was young, and what Our covenants are, remember, Thwack. Young, how young? She left her worm-seed, and her coral whistle But a month since: do they mean so? E. Pal. Morglay, our covenants is all I ask. Thwack. May be she hath a mind to me; for there's A reverend humour in the blood, which thou Ne'er knew'st; perhaps she would have boys begot Should be delivered with long beards; till thou Arrive at my full growth, thou'lt yield the world Nought above dwarf or page. E. Pal. Our covenants still, I cry! To the homely village in the north. Thwack. Alas, these silly covenants, you know, E. Pal. But what success canst thou expect, since we have Not yet enjoyed the city a full day? Thwack. I say, let me have woman; be she young Or old, grandam or babe, I must have woman. E. Pal. Carry but thy patience like a gentle Eater Elder Pallatine, Meager, and Pert, with Lights. E. Pal. Gentlemen, if you please, lead me no further; I have so little faith to believe this Pert. Sir, you shall see this upper room is hung. E. Pal. With cobwebs, sir, and those so large the may Catch and ensnare dragons instead of flies, Norman spiders, that came in with the Con queror. Mea. This chamber will refresh your eyes, when you Have cause to enter it. [Leads him to look in between the Hangings. E. Pal. A bed and canopy! There's show of entertainment there indeed; There lovers may have place to celebrate Their warm wishes, and not take cold: But, gentlemen, How comes the rest of this blind house so naked, So ruinous, and deformed? Pert. Pray, sir, sit down: If you have seen aught strange, or fit for wonder, In pursuit of your love. She hath good fame, E. Pal. Excuse my courage, gentlemen; good faith I am not hold enough to think you so. Pert. Nor will you yet be woo'd to such mistake. E. Pal. Not all the art nor flattery you have, Can render you to my belief worse than Myself. Panders and bawds! good gentlemen, I shall be angry if you persuade me to So vile a thought. Pert. Sir, you have cause, And in good faith if you should think us such, We would make bold to cut that slender throat. E. Pal. How, sir? Pert. That very throat through which the lusty grape, And savoury morsel in the gamester's dish, Mea. Sir, it should open wide as the widest oyster I'the Venetian lake. E. Pal. Gentlemen, it should. It is a throat I can so little hide In such a cause, that I would whet your razor for't On my own shoe. Pert. Enough, you shall know all : So much o'ermastered by her blood, we fear E. Pal. 'Twere pity, faith, she should be cast away. Pert. You have a soft and blessed heart; and to Prevent so sad a period of her sweet breath, Ourselves, this house, the habit of this room, The bed within, and your fair person, we 27 Squires of the placket. A squire of the placket seems to be a cant term for a pimp. A placket does not signify a petticoat in general, but only the aperture therein. See Mr Amner's note on Shakespeare's King Lear, A. 3. S. 4. Have all assembled in a trice. E. Pal. Sure, gentlemen, In my opinion more could not be done, Pert. But, sir, the excellence of your pure fame Be pleased to save her life, and not undo her ho nour. Mea. We hope you will afford her med'cine by tant now Cannot be given; though you were in compass Pert. Alas, we drew our arrow but by aim. E. Pal. Sure, gentlemen, I can, serve, If books penn'd with a clean and wholesome spirit And soft Indian plumb. Meager, what news? Have any might to edify; would they Were here! Mea. What, sir? E. Pal. A small library, Which I am wont to make companion to Pert. Have they not names? E. Pal. A pill to purge phlebotomy,30-A bal samum For the spiritual back,-A lozenge against lust ; Pert. But, sir, if this chaste means cannot re store Her to her health and quiet peace, I hope [Points to the Bed within. 28 The Alps.-The 4to reads aspes. 29 Aretine. An Italian poet, whose works were accompanied by lewd prints, of which he was the inventor. They are mentioned in The Muse's Looking Glass, vol. 9. p. 204. 30 A Pill to purge, &c.-In the folio edition these lines were altered in this manner : "A pill to purge the pride of pagan patches, A lozenge for the lust of loytring love, And balsams for the bites of Babel's beast: Pert. These, dear Pall, are thy brother's goodly | The bawd, fled hence last night; and now they come To seize on moveables for rent. hoards. Y. Pal. Yes, and his proud flocks; but you see what they Come to; a little room contains them all My mother's maidenhead, and a country wit, [Knocking within, PERT looks at the Door. Pert. Death! there's old Snore The constable, his wife, a regiment of halberds, Mea. Belike they've heard our friend, SCENEI. ACT III. Enter SNORE, Mrs SNORE, QUEASY, and Walch men. Mrs Snore. Days o' my breath, I have not seen the like! What would you have my husband do? 'tis past One by Bow, and the bellman has gone twice. Quea. Good Master Snore, you are the constable, You may do it, as they say, be it right or wrong: Tis four years rent come Childermas-eve next. Snore. You see, neighbour Queasy, the doors are open; Here's no goods, no bawd left; I'd see the bawd. Mrs Snore. Aye, or the whores: my husband's the king's officer, And still takes care, I warrant you, of bawds Quea. I pray, Mistress Snore, let him search the parish, They are not gone far, I must have my rent; As good marry a cowlestaff as a constable, fort His wife at night: I pr'ythee, lamb, let us to bed. Snore. It must be late; for gossip Nock, the nailman, Had catechised his maids, and sung three catches And a song, ere we set forth. [Exeunt. Flung down thy ware. Snore. Keep the peace, wife; keep the peace. To pawn, when I was a maid; I paid her Quea. A maid! yes, sure; By that token, goody Tongue, the midwife, Snore. Neighbour Queasy, this was not VOL. I. 31 Scurvy fleak-A fileak of bacon, is the same as a flitch of bacon. S. 2 P Peace, wife; not a word. [Exeunt. | Enter SNORE, Mrs SNORE, QUEASY, and Watch men. Snore. Here's a room hung, and a fair bed within; I take it there's the he-bawd too. Ι Quea. Seize on the lewd thing; pray, Master Snore, seize on the goods too. To their busbands; and she maintains him E. Pal. What are you? E. Pal. Good;-the constable! I begin to stroke my long ears, and find Mrs Snore. Truly as proper a bawd as a woman E. Pal. Master constable, Though these your squires o' the blade and bill, seem to Be courteous gentlemen, and well taught, yet Quea. Yes, and for three bed-ticks, and a brass Which your wife promised me to pay this term; mers.. E. Pal. My wife! have I been led to the altar By some doughty deacon?-Ta'en woman by Snore. For the he-bawd. E. Pal. Good faith, you may as soon Take me for a whale, which is something rare, Mrs Snore. 'Tis indeed; Yet our Paul was in the belly of one, In my Lord Mayor's show; and, husband, you re member, He beckoned you out of the fish's mouth, E. Pal. I saw it, and cried out Mrs Snore. Indeed! why, I was but a tiny I pray how long have you been a bawd here? Am I changed, since my own glass rendered me [Misses his diamond Hatband. He hath no need o' your stones, I praise Hea- E. Pal. A plague upon your courteous mid- Good silly saints, they are dividing now, My wit, till I be thought to have a less head Snore. Come along, 'tis late. E. Pal. Whither must I go? Quea. To the Compter, sir, unless my rent be paid. Snore. And for being a bawd. E. Pal. Confined in wainscot walls too, Snore. Well, what's your request? E. Pal. Marry, that you will let me go to fetch Hunting nags, with tall eaters in blue coats, Quea. Pray let him go, Master Snore; Mrs Snore. Yes, let him, husband; [Exeunt. Enter Younger PALLATINE, AMPLE, PERT, LUCY, Amp. A forest full of palms, thy lover, Luce, |