Wherwithe I tolde, as I shall tell :
O plesant pycture! O prince of hell!
Feutred 194 in fashyon abominable,
And syns that it is inestimable
For me to prayse the worthyly,
I leve of prayse, as unworthy
To geve the prayse, besechynge the
To heare my sewte, and then to be
So good to graunt the thynge I crave;
And, to be shorte, thys wolde I have:
The soule of one which hyther flytted,
Delivered 195 hence, and to me remitted.
And, in thys doynge, though al be nat quyt,
Yet in some parte I shall 196 deserve it;
As thus, I ani a pardoner,
And over soules as controller,
Throughout the erthe my power doth stande,
Where many a soule lyeth on my haude,
That spede in maters as I use them,
As I receyve them, or refuse them.
Wherby, what tyme thy pleasure is,
Ye 197 shall requyre any part of this,
The leste devyll here that can come thyther,
Shall chose a soule, and brynge him hyther.
Ho,198 ho, quoth the devyll, we are well pleased;
What is hys name thou woldest have eased?
Nay, quoth I, be it good or evyll,

My comynge is for a she-devyll.

What calste her, (quoth he,) thou whoorson? 199
Forsooth, (quoth I,) Margery Coorson.
Now, by our honour, sayd Lucyfer,
No devyll in hell shall withholde her;
And, yf thou woldest have twenty mo,
Wert not for justyce, they shulde goo.
For all we 200 devylls, withir den,

Have more to do with two women,
Then with all charge we have besyde;
Wherfore, yf thou our frende wyll be tryed,
Aply thy pardons to women so,
That unto us there come no mo.
To do my beste I promysed by othe;
Whiche I have kepte, for, as the fayth goth
At thys day,201 to heven I do procure
Ten women to one man, you may be sure.
Then of Lucyfer my leave I toke,
And streyght unto the mayster coke
I was hadde, into the kechyn,

For Margerie's offyce was therin.

All thynges handled there discretely,
For every soule bereth offyce metely:
Woiche myght be sene to se her syt
So bysely turnynge of the spyt.
For many a spyt here hath she turned;
And many a good spyt hath she burned;
And many a spyt ful hote hath tosted;
Before the meat coulde be halfe rosted.
And or 202 the meate were halfe rosted in dede,
I toke her then fro the spyt with spede.
But, when she sawe thys brought to pas,
To tell the joy wherin she was,
And of all the devylls, for joy, how they
Did rore at her delyvery,

And how the cheynes in hell dyd rynge,
And how all the soules therin dyd synge,
And how we were brought to the gate,
And how we toke our leve therat,
Be suer lacke of tyme sufferyth nat
To reherse the twentie parte of that.
Wherfore, thys tale to conclude brevely,
Thys woman thanked me chyefly,
That she was ryd of thys endles deth,
And so we departed on Newmarket heth.
| And, yf that any man do mynde her,
Who lyste to seke her, there shalle he fynde her.
Ped. Syr, ye have sought her wunderous 203 well;
And where ye founde her as ye tell,
To here the chaunce ye had 204 in heil,
I find ye were in great peril. 205

207

Palm. His tale is all muche perilous; 206 But parte is muche more mervaylous. As where he sayde the devylls complayne, That women put them to suche payne. Be theyr condicions so croked and crabbed, Frowardly fashonde, so wayward and wrabbed,2 So farre in devision, and sturrynge suche stryfe, That all the devylls be wery of theyr life? This, 208 in effect, he tolde for 209 trueth; Wherby muche marvell to me ensueth, That women in hell suche shrewes can be, And here so gentyll as farre as I se. Yet have I sene many a myle, And many a woman in the whyle. Nat one good cytye, towne, nor borough, In Cristendom, but I have been thorough, And this I wolde ye shulde understande, I have sene women five hundred thousande;

195 Delivered-deliver, edit. 1569.

197 Ye-I, Ist edit.

196 Shall-wil, edit. 1569.

198 Ho-Nowe, Ist edit.

199 Whoorson-horyson, Ist edit.

200 We-the, edit. 1569.

201 Day-dayes, 1st edit.

202 Or-ere.

204 Had-founde, 1st edit.

203 Wunderous-wonders, 1st edit. 205 Peril-parell, 1st edit.

206 Perilous-parellous, 1st edit.

208 This-thus, edit. 1569.

209 For-of, edit. 1569.

Yet in all places where I have ben,

Of all the women that I have sene,

I never sawe, nor knewe, in my consciens,
Any one woman out of patiens.

Pot. By the masse, there is a great lye!
Pard. I never harde a greater, by our Lady!
Ped. A greater! nay, knowe ye any so great?
Palm. Syr, whether that I lose or get,
For my parte judgement shall be prayd.
Pard. And I desyer as he hath sayd.
Pot. Procede, and ye shall be obeyd.
Ped. Then shall nat judgement be delayd.
Of all these thre, yf eche mannes tale
In Paule's churche-yarde were set on sale,
In some mannes hande that hath the sleyghte,
He shulde sure sell these tales by weyght:
For as they wey, so be they worth,
But whiche weyth beste, to that now forth.
Syr, all the tale that ye dyd tell,
I bere in mynde, and yours as well.
And as ye sawe the mater metely,
So lyed ye bothe well and discretely.
Yet were your lyes with the lest, truste me;
For yf ye had said, that ye had made fle
Ten thampyons out of ten womens tayles,
Ten tymes ten myle, to ten castels or javles,
And fild ten ryvers ten tymes so depe,

As ten of that whiche your castell stones did kepe;
Or yf ye ten tymes had bodely
211 Fet ten soules out of purgatory,
And ten tymes so many out of hell;
Yet, by these ten bonnes, I coulde right well,
Ten tymes sooner all that have beleyved,
Then the tenthe parte of that he hath meved.
Pot. Two knaves before one, lacketh two knaves

of fyve;

Then one, and then one, and bothe knaves alyvc.
Then two, and then two, and thre at a cast,
Thou knave, and thou knave, and thou knave at
laste.

Nay, knave, yf ye tryme by nomber,
I will as knavyshly you accomber. 212
Your mynde is all on your pryvy tythe;
For all in ten me thynketh your wit lythe.

213 Now ten tymes I beseche hym that hye syttes, Thy wives ten commaundementes may serch thy five wyttes.

Then ten of my tordes in ten of thy teth;
And ten on thy nose, whiche every man seth;
And twentie tymes ten, this wyshe I wolde,
That thou haddest been banged at ten yere olde;
For thou goest about to make me a slave;
I wyll thou knowe yf I am a gentleman,214 knave;
And here is another shall take my parte.

Pard. Nay fyrst I beshrew your knave's herte, Or I take parte in your knavery. 215 Lady.

I wyll speak fair, by our

Syr, I beseche your mashyp to be
As good as ye can 216 be unto me.

Ped. I wolde be glade to do you good;
And hym also, be he never so wood. 216
But dout you not, I wyll now do
The thynge my consciens ledeth me to.
Both your tales I take farre unpossyble,
Yet take I his farther incredyble.
Not only the thynge itselfe alloweth it;
But also the boldenes therof avoweth it.
I knowe nat where your tale to trye;
Nor yours, but in hell or purgatorye.
But hys boldnes hath faced a lye,
That may be tryed evyn in thys companye.
As yf ye lyste to take thys order,
Amonge the women in thys border.

217

Take thre of the yongest, and thre of the oldest,
Thre of the hotest, and thre of the coldest,
Thre of the wysest, and thre of the shrewdest,
Thre of the chastest, and thre of the lewdest,2
Thre of the lowest, and thre of the hyest,
Thre of the farthest, and thre of the nyest,
Thre of the fayrest, and thre of the maddest,
Thre of the foulest, and thre of the saddest;
And when all these thres be had asonder,
Of eche thre, two justly by nomber
Shall be founde shrewes, excepte thys fall,
That ye hap to fynde them shrewes all.
Hymselfe, for trouth, all this doth knowe;
And oft hath tryed some of thys rowe.
And yet he swereth by his consciens,
He never saw woman breke patiens.

210 Taried-maryed, 1st edit.

213 Now ten tymes I beseche hym that hye syttes,

214 Gentleman-gentle, edit. 1569.

216 Ye can-you may, edit. 1569.

217 Addition in the second edit.

Wherfore, consydered with true entente,
Hys lye to be so evident,
And to appere so evydently,
That both you affyrmed it a lye;
Aud that my consciens so depely,

So depe hath sought thys thynge to try,
And tryed it with mynde indyfferent;
Thus I awarde by way of judgement:
Of all the lies ye all have spent,
Hys lie to be most exccilent.

Palm. Syr, though ye were bounde of equite
To do as ye have done to me;
Yet do I thanke you of your payne,
And wyll requyte some parte agayne.

Pard. Mary, syr, ye can no les do,
But thanke hym asmuche as it cometh to;
And so wyll I do for my parte:
Now a vengeance on thy knave's hearte,
I never knewe a Pedler a judge before,
Nor never wyll truste pedlynge knave more.
What doest thou there, thou horson nody?

Pot. By the masse, lerne to make curtesy,
Curtesy before, and curtesy behynde hym,
And then, on eche syde, the devyll blyude hym.
Nay, when ye 218 have it perfytly,

Ye shall have the devyll and all of curtesy.
But it is nat sone lerned, gentle 219 brother,
One knave to make curtesy to another.
Yet when I am angry, that is the worste,
I shall call my mayster knave at the fyrste.
Palm. Then wolde some mayster perhappes
clowt you,

But, as for me, ye nede not doute you:
For I had lever 220 be without ye,
Then have suche besynesse about ye.
Pot. So helpe me God, so were ye better!
What, shulde a begger be a jetter?
It were no whyt your honestie,
To have us twayne jet after ye.

221

Pard. Syr, be you sure he telleth you true, Yf we shulde wayte thys wolde ensew; It wolde be sayd, truste me at a worde, Two knaves made 222 curtesy to the thyrde. Ped. Now, by my trouth, to speke my mynde, Syns they be so loth to be assyned,223

To let them lose I thynke it beste;
And so shall ye lyve the better 224 in rest.
Palm. Syr, I am nat on them so fonde,
To compell them to kepe theyr bonde.
And, syns ye lyste nat to wayte on me,
I clerely of waytinge do dyscharge ye.

228

Pard. Marry, syr, I hertely thanke you. Pot. 225 And likewise I, to God I vow. Ped. Now be ye all even as ye begoon; No man hath loste, nor no man hath woon. Yet in the debate, wherewith ye began, By waye of advyce I wyll speke as I can. I doo perceyve, that pylgrymage Is chyefe 226 the thynge ye have in usage; Wherto, in effect, for the love of Chryst, Ye have, or shulde have been, entyst. And who so doth with suche intent, Doth well declare hys tyme well spent. And so do ye in your pretence, If ye procure thus 227 indulgence Unto your neyghbours charytably, For love of them in God onely. All thys may be ryght well applyed To show you both well occupyed. For though ye walke nat bothe one waye, Yet walkynge thus, thys dare I saye, That bothe your walkes come to one And so for all that do pretende By ayde of Goddes grace to ensewe Any maner kynde of vertue. As some, great almyse for to gyve; Some, in wyllfull povertie to lyve; Some to make hye wayes, and suche lyke warkes;230 And some to mayntaine prestes and clarkes, To synge and praye for soule departed; These, with all other vertues well marked, Although they be of sondry kyndes, Yet be they nat used with sondry myndes; But as God only doth all those move, So every man onely for his love, With love and dred obediently, Worketh in these vertues unyformly. Thus every vertue, yf we lyste to scan, Is pleasaunt to God, and thankfull to man. And who that, by grace of the Holy Goste,

229

end;

218 Ye-I, 1st edit.

220 Lever rather, edit. 1569.

222 Made-make, edit. 1569.

226 Chyefe-cheefest, edit. 1569.

228 Shew-shewell, Ist edit. 230 Like-other, Ist edit.

227 Thus-this, edit. 1569.

229 One-on, edit. 1569,