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Kysse it hardely with good devocion.
Pot. What the devyil care I what ye
thinke? Pot. Thys kysse shall bryoge us much promo- Shall I prayse relykes when they styuke? cyon.
Pard. Here is an eye-toth of the great Turke: Fogh, by Saynt Savyour I never kyst a wars; Whose eyes be ones sette on thys pece of worke Ye were as good kysse All-hallowe's ars; May happely lese part of his eye-syght, For by All-hallowes, yet me thyoketh,
But nat all tyll he be blyrde outryght.
Pot. What so ever any man seeth,
*144 Turkes teeth: Yf any breth stynke, it is your owne.
For although I never sawe a greter,
Pard. Here is a box ful of huinble bees, Or els it were tyme to kisse the galows.
That stonge Eve as she sat on her knees Pard. Nay, sirs, behulde, here may ye se Tastynge the frute to her forbydden: The great toe of the Trinitye,
Who kysseth the bees within this bidden, Who to thys toe any money voweth,
Shall have asmuche pardon of ryght, And ones inay role it in his moueth,
As for any relyke he kyst this nyght. All hys lyse after, I undertake,
Palm. Syr, I will kysse them with all my herte. 137 He shall never be vext with the tooth ake. Pot. Kysse them agayne, and take my parte,
Pot. I praye you torne that relyke aboute; For I am nat worthy; nay, lette be, Either 138 'the Trinite had the goute,
Those bees that stonge Eve shall nat stynge me. Or elles, bycause it is three toes in one,
l'ard. Good frendes, I have yet here God made it asmuche 139 as thre toes alone.
glas, Pard. Well, lette that passe, and loke upon thys; Which on the drynke at the weddynge was Here is a relyke that doth nat mys
Of Adam and Eve undoubtedly: 'To helpe the leste as well as the moste :
If ye honour this relyke devoutly, This is a buttocke-bone of Pentecoste.
Although ye thurste no whyt the lesse, Pot. By Chryste, and yet for all your boste, Yet shall ye drynke the more, doubtlesse. This relyke hath beshyten the roste.
After whiche drynkynge ye sbal be as mete Pard. Mark well thys; thys relyke here is a To stande on your hede as on your fete. whipper,
Pot. Ye mary, now I
you thanke; My frendes 40 unfayned, here 14" is a slypper In presens of thys the rest be blanke. Of one of the seven slepers be sure;
Wolde God this relyke had come rather ; Doutlesse thys kysse shall do you great pleasure : Kysse that relyke well
, good father. For all these two dayes it shall so ease you, Suche is the payne that ye Palmers take, That none other savours shall displease you. To kisse the pardon bowle for the drynke sake. Pot. All these two dayes! nay, all these 143 two O hüly yeste, that loketh full sowr and stale, yere ;
For Goddes body, helpe me to a cuppe of ale. For all the savours that may come heer
The more I beholde 148 thee, the more I thurste: Can be no worse ; for at a worde,
The oftener I kysse the, the more lyke to burste, One of the seven slepers trode on a torde. But sins I kysse the so devoutely, Ped. Syr, me thynketh your devocion is but Hyre me and helpe me with drynke tyll I dye. smal.
What, so muche prayeing and so lytell spede? Pard. Small! mary me thynketh he hath none Pard. Ye, for God knoweth when it is nede at all,
To sende folkes drynke; but by Saynt Antony,
137 He shall never be vert xilh the tooth ake-He shall be rid of the tooth ake, Ist edit.
139 Asmuche-muche, Ist edit.
141 Here-this, edit. 1569. 142 Ons of the seven slepers be sure—These seven sleepers are said to have lived at Ephesus in the time of the Emperor Decian. Being commanded to sacrifice according to the Pagan manner, they fled to a cave in Mount Celyon, where they fell asleep, and continued in that state 372 years, as is asserted by some, though, according to others, only 20 years. They awoke in the reign of the Emperor Theodosian, who, being informed of this extraordinary event, came from Coustantinople to see them, and to satisfy himself of the truth of the relation. Having communicated to him the several circumstances of their case, they all, as the Legenda Aurea expresses it, “ enclyned theyr hedes to therth, and rendred their spyrites at the commauidement of our Lorde Jesu Cryst, and soo deyed." See Legenda Auren, 196. 143 These—thys, 1st edit.
144 To, Ist edit. 145 Yett, edit. 1569.
146 Can, Ist edit. 147 Con you thanke-See Note 31 to Gammer Gurlon's Needle, in Dodsley's Old Plays, Vol. II, p. 23. 148 Beholde--see, cdit, 1569.
I wene he hath sent you to much alredy. Here is a medecyn no mo lyke the same,
Pot. If I have never the more for the, Whiche comenly is called thus by name, Then be thy relykes no ryches to me;
Alikakabus or Alkagengy: Nor to thy self, excepte they be
A goodly thynge for dogges that be 156
mangy: More benefycyall then I can se.
Suche be these medycines, that I can Rycher is one boxe of this tryacle,149
Helpe a dogge as wel as a man. Then all thy relykes, that do no myrakell. Nat one thynge here partycularly If thou baddest prayed but halfe so muche to me, But worketh universally; As I have prayed to thy relykes and the, For it doth me as muche good when I sell it, Nothynge concernynge myne occupacion, As all the byers that taste it, or smell it. But streyght shulde have wrought one'so operation. Now syns my medycyns be so speciall, And as in value I pas you an ace,
And in one operacion so generall, So here lyeth muche rychessc in a lytell space. And redy to worke when so ever they shall, I have a boxe of rebard here,
So that in ryches I am principall : Whiche is as deynty as it is dere.
If any rewarde may entreat ye, So 15. helpe me God, and hollydam,
I besech your mast'ship be good to me, Of this I woulde not geve a dram
And ye shall have a boxe of marmelade, To the beste frende i have in England's grounde, So fyne that you may dyg it with a spade. Though he wolde give me twentie pounde.
Ped. Syr, I thanke you, but your rewarde For though the stomake do it abbor,
Is nat the thynge that I regarde. It poargeth you clene from the coler;
I muste and wyll be indifferent: And maketh your stomake sore to walter, Wherfore procede in your intente. That ye shall never come to the halter.
Pot. Nowe yf I wyst thys wysh no synne, Ped. Then is that medycyn a soveraya thinge I wolde to God I myght begynne. To preserve a man from hangynge.
Pard. I am content that thou lye fyrste. Pot. If ye wyll taste but thys crome that ye see, Palm. Even so am I; now'58 say thy worste. If ever ye be hanged never truste me.
Now let us here of all thy lyes, Here have I Diapompholicus,
The greatest lye thou mayst devyse, A speciall oyntmente, as doctours discuse, And in the fewyst wordes thou can. For a tistela or for a canker,
Pot. Forsooth, ye be "S9 an honest man. 152 Thys oyntment is even shot anker:
Ped. There sayde ye muche, but yet no lye. For this medecyc. 153 helpeth one and other, Pard. Now lye ye bothe, by our Lady. Or bringeth them in case that they nede no other. Thou lvest in bost of hys honestie; Here is a Syrapus de Byzansis,
And he hath Iyed in affirminge the. A lytell thynge is enough of this;
Pot. Yf we both lye, and ye say true, For even the weyght of one scryppal
Then of these lies your parte adew. Sall 15+ make you as strong as a cryppul. And if ye wydı, make none avaunt; Here are other, as Diosialos,
For you are sure of one yll servaunte: Diayalanga and Sticados,
You may perceyve by the wordes he gave, Blanka, Manna, Diospoliticon,
He taketh your mashyp '6° but for a knave. Mercury sublyme, and Mitridaticon;
But who tolde truth,'ói or lyed in dede, Pehtory and Arse fetita,
That wyll I knowe or we procede. Cassy and Colloquintida.
Syr, after that I fyrste began These be 155 the thynges that breke all stryse To prayse you for an honest man, Betwe ne manne's syckness and bis lyfe.
When ye affyrmed it for no lye : 163 Froin all payne these shall you delever,
Now, by your 164 fayth, spekë even truely; And set you even at reste
Thought ye your affyrmacyon true ?
149 Tryacle-theriaca, a remedy against poison. Blount, 150 One-in, Ist edit.
151 So-Addition. 152 Thys ointment is even shot anker-I should suppose we ought to read sheet anchor. The sheet anchor is the largest belonging to a ship, and is the last refuge of mariners; for, when that fails to take hold of the ground, the vessel is left at the mercy of the storm. The sheet anchor was called by the ancients, anchora sacra ; and by the French, maitresse ancre, S. 153 Medecyn-ointment, edit. 1569.
154 Sall-Will, edit. 1569. 155 Be-are, edit. 1569.
156 be-are, edit. 14 69. 157 Tomuoto, edit. 1569.
158 Now—and, Ist edit. 159 Yeber you are, edit. 1569.
160 Your mashyp-i. e. your mastership. S. 161 Truthe true, Ist edit.
162 Orere, edit. 1569. 163 For to lye-for go lye, edit. 1569.
164 Your-our, 1st edite
Palm. Ye mary, for I wolde ye knewe, I dyd a cure no longer ago, I thynke my selfe an honest man.
But in Anno Domini Millesimo, Pot. What thought ye in the contrary than? On a woman yonge and so fayre, Pard. In that I sayde the contrary;
That never have I sene a gayre. I thynke from trouth I dyd nat vary.
God save all women of '70 that lyknes. Pot. And what of my wordes ?
This wanton had the fallen syknes,
Whiche by dissent came lynyally,
But though I boste my crafte is suche,
That in suche thynges I can do muche. Now syns bothe ye
166 the trouthe confes, How ofte she fell were muche to reporte; 367 How that I lyed, doo bear witnes,
But her hed so gydy and her helys so shorte, That twain of us may soon agree,
That with the twynglynge of an eye, And that the lyer the wyoper must be.
Downe wolde she falle evyn by and by : Who coulde provyde suche evydens,
But or '7' she wolde aryse agayne As I have done in this pretenis ?
I shewed muche practyse muche to my payne; Me thynketh this matter sufficient
For the tallest man within thys towlie To cause you to gyre judgement;
Could 172 nat with ease have broken her swowne. And to gyve ine che mastrye :
Although for lyfe I dyd nat doute her, For ye perceyve these knaves cannat lye. Yet I dyd take more paines 173 about her,
Palm. Though neyther 168 of us as yet had lyed; | Then I wolde take with mine owne syster : Yet what we can do is untryed.
Syr, at the last I gave her a glyster. For as yet we have devysed nothynge,
11+ I thrust a thampyon in her tewell, But answered you, and geven you hearing. And bad her kepe it for a jewell. Ped. Therfore I have devysed one waye
But I knew there 574 * it was to heevy to cary, Wherby all thre your mindes may saye :
That I sure was it wolde nat tary :
For where gonpouder is ones fyerd,
Whiche was well sene in tyme of this chaunce;
For when I had charged this ordynaunce,
Sodeynly, as it had thonderd,
Now marke, for here begynneth the revell:
This thampion flew ten longe myle levell,
165 None-one, edit. 1.569.
166 Ye-your, Ist edit. 567 How, &c.-First edition reads,
And that we both my lye so witnes,
That twayne of us thre in one agree. 168 Neyther-nother, 1st edit.
169 Unlikest-unlyke, Ist edit. 170 Of-from, Ist edit.
171 Or-ere, edit. 1569. 172 Could—Shulde, Ist edit.
173 Paynes--payne, Ist edit. 174 I thrust a thampyou in her tewel—The allusion is to gunnery.' Thampion (tampon, Fr. a bang, cork, or plug of wood) is now written tompion, and signifies the stopper with which the mouths of cannon are closed up, to prevent the admission of rain, or sea-water, whereby their charges might be rendered incapable of service.--A terel (tuyau or tuyal, Fr.) is a pipe ; and is here used (for the sake of continuing the metaphor) for bore or caliber. Moxon, in his Mechanic Exercises, defines the tewel to be that pipe in a smith's forge into which the nose of the bellows is introduced; and in a MS. fragment, said to be written by Sir Francis Drake, concerning the stores of one of the ships under his command, the word tewel is applied to a gun. S.
In Lambarde's Dictionarium Topographicum et Historicum, p. 129. it is said, “ It happened in the reigne of Quene Marye, that the master of a shippe passinge by while the court lay theare, and meaning (as the manner is) with sayle and shot to honour the place, unadvisedly gave fire to a piece charged with a stone instede of a tampion, which, lightinge on the quene's house, ranne through a chamber, and did no further barme." 17+* There--Addition in the 2d edit.
175 Bumberd--A piece of ordnance. S.
To a fayre castell of lyme and store,
But when I bethought me howe thys chaunced, For strength I know nat suche a one;
And that I have to heven avaunced Whiche stode upon a hyll full hye,
So many soules to me but straungers, At fote wherof a ryver ranne bye,
And coude nat kepe my frende from daungers, So depe tyll chaunce had it forhydden,
But she to dy so daungerously, 876 Well myght the Regent there have ryden.
For her soule helth especially ;
That nothynge could release my woo
For which tryall, short tale to make,
I toke thys journey for her sake.
From hens I went to purgatory,
And toke with me thys gere in my fyste, May wade it over and wet no shoo.
Whereby I nay do there what I İyste. So was thys castell layd wyde open,
I knocked, and was let in quyckly; That every man myght se the toben.
But Lorde, how lowe the souls made curtesy! But in a good houre maye these '78 wordes be And I to every soule agayne spoken :
130 Dyd gyve a beck them to retayne, After the thampyon on the walles was wroken, And axed them thys question than, And pece by pece in peces broken,
If that the soule of such a woman And she delyvered, with suche violens,
Dyd late among them there appere? Of all her inconveniens,
Wherto they sayd, she came nat here. I left her in good helth and luste;
Then ferd I muche it was nat well;
Alas, thought I, she is in hell.
purpose ye have sayd well. That sure, I thought, she was nat sayuted. I Pard. Well, syr, marke what I can say :
With thys, it chaunced me to snese; I have ben a pardoner many a day,
Christe help, quoth a soule, that ley for his fees And done more cures gostely,
Those wordes, quoth I, thou shalt nat lees; Then ever he dyd bodely;
Then with these pardons of all degrees, Namely thys one, whiche ye shall bere
I payed his tole, and set hym so quyght, Of one departed within thys seven yere, That strayt to heven be toke his flyght; A frende of myne, and lykewyse I
And I from thens to hell that nyght, To her agayne was as frendly;
To help this woman yf I myght: Who fell so syke so sodeynly,
Nat as who sayth by authorite,
But by the waye of entreate.
I came, and spake after this rate:
All hayle, Syr Devyll; and made lowe curtesy : Yet barde 1 say she asked for me.
Welcome, quoth he, thus smillyngly.
But to your
176 Well myght the Regent there have ryden—The Regent was one of the largest ships of war in the time of King Henry the Eighth. In the fourth year of his reign, Sir Thomas Knevet, master of the horse, and Sir John Carew of Devonshire, were appointed captains of her, and, in company with several others, she was sent to fight the French fleet near Brest haven. An action accordingly ensued, and the Regent grappled with a French Carrick, which would have been taken had not a gunner on board the vessel, to prevent her falling into the hands of the English, set fire to the powder-room. This communicating the flames to both ships, they shared the same fate together, being both burnt. On the part of the French 900 men were lost, and on that of the English more than 700. See Hall's Chronicle, tempore Henry Vill. fol. 21. 177 This-on thys castell lyght, Ist edit.
178 These—this, edit. 1569. 179 Your-our, 1st edit.
180 Dyd gyve a beck them to retaye-A beck, among other significations, has that of a salutation with the head. So, in Shakspeare's Timon of Athens :
“A serving of becks, and jutting out of bums.” S. 181 Thus-thys, 1st edit.
He knew me well; and J, at laste,
That shall in hell have any nay.
Gevyn in the fornes of our palys,
quod he, in euer,
182 For oft, in the play of Corpus Cristi,
He hath playd the devyll at Coventry.“ Before the suppression of the monasteries, this city (i.e. Coventry) was very famous for the pageants that were play'd therein upon Corpus Christi day, (this is one of their ancient faires,) which occasioning very great confluence of people thither from far and near, was no small benefit thereto; which pageants being acted with mighty state and reverence by the friers of this house, had theaters for the several scenes very large and high, placed upon wheels, and drawn to all the eminent parts of the city, for the better advantage of spectators, and contained the story of the New Testament, composed in old English rithme, as appeareth by an ancient MS. entitled, Ludus Corporis Christi, or Ludus Coventriæ, in Bibl. Cotton. (sub Effigie Vesp. D. 9.)."-DUGDALE's Warwickshire, 183 As on-Add, in the 2d edit.
194 Maymaist, edit. 1569. 185 Wyt-Mr Dodsley's has write.
186 Any—hys, Ist edit. 187. Amain—for playne, Ist edit.
188 Euercure, edit. 1569. 189 Sothery-Sweet, or fresh, made from the old word sote. 190 Well appointed-See note 3. to The Ordinary, in Dodsley's Old Plays. 191 Feends-frendes, 1st edit. 192 Did, &c.-First edition reads,
“ Dyd laugh full well togyther lyke frendes." 193 Of Lucyfer, &c.—First edition reads, “ Then to Lucyfer low as I coude."