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Because, for lacke of light, descerne him he ne Nay ye have other minions in the other end of the
where els, as farre as I know. Dr Rat. I thinke I am litle better, my scalpe Bay. Be like then, master doctor, your 84 stripe is cloven to the braine :
there ye got not. If there be all the remedy, I know who beares Dr Rat.
you I am so mad, that where the knocks. 83
I was bet I wot not? Bay. By my troth, and well worthy besides to Will ye beleve this queane, before she hath try'd kisse the stockes.
it? To come in on the backe side, when ye might go It is not the first dede she hath done, and after. about,
ward denide it. I know non such, unles they long to have their Chat. What, man, will you say I broke your braines knockt out.
head? Dr Rat. Well, wil you be so good, sir, as talke Dr Rat. How canst thou prove the contrary? with dame Chat,
Chat. Nay, how provest thou that I did the And know what she intended, I aske no more but
Dr Rat. To plainly, by St Mary. Bay. Let her be called, fellow, because of mas- This profe, I trow, may serve, though I no word ter doctor,
spoke. (Showing his broken head. I warrant in this case, she wil be hir owne proctor: Chat. Bicause thy head is broken, was it I that She will tel hir owne tale in metter or in prose,
it broke? And byd you secke your remedy, and so go wype I saw thee, Rat, I tell thee, not once within this your nose.
Dr Rat. No, mary, thou sawest me not; for THE SECOND SCEANE.
why? thou hadst no light;
But I felt thee for al the darke, beshrew thy M. BAYLY, Chat, DR RAT, GAMMER, Hodge,
smothe cheekes ! Diccon.
And thou groped me, this wil declare any day this Bay. Dame Chat, master Doctor, upon you
six weekes, complaineth,
[Showing his heade. That you and your maides shuld him much mis- Bay. Answere me to this, M. Rat, when caught order,
you this harme of yours? And taketh many an oth, that no word be faineth, Dr Rat. A while ago, sir, God he knoweth; Laying to your charge, how you thought him to
within les then these two houres. murder :
Bay. Dame Chat, was there none with you And on his part againe, that same man saith fur
(confesse I faith) about that season? der,
What woman, let it be what it wil, 'tis neither He never offended you in word nor intent;
felony nor treason. To heare you answer hereto, we have now for you Chat. Yes, by my faith, master Bayly, there scnt,
was a knave not farre, Chat. That I wold have murdered him ! fye on Who caught one good philup on the brow with a him wretch,
dorebarre. And evil mought he thee for it, our Lord I beseech. And well was he worthy, as it seemed to mee: I wil swere on al the bookes that opens and shuttes, But what is that to this man, since this was not He faineth this tale out of his owne guttes,
hee? For this seven weekes with me, I am sure, he sat Bay. Who was it then? let's here. not downe;
Dr Rat. Alas, sir, aske you that?
84 You. 35 Trinke yo u I am so mad, that where I was bet I wot not.-i. e. I know not. So A. 2, S. 4:
My tossing sporyar's neele, chave lost it wot not where. A. 3. S. 3:
Gammer, chave ben there as you bad, you wot wel about what.
- this will keep me safe yet
The thing I wot of.
Is it not made plain inough by the owne mouth | An egge is not so ful of meate, as she is ful of of dame Chat?
lyes : The time agreeth, my head is broken, her tong When she hath plaid this pranke, to excuse all
cannot lye; Onely upon a bare nay, she saith it was not I. She layeth the fault on such a one, as I know Chul. No mary was it not indeede, ye shal here
was not there. by, this one thing.
Chat, Was he not theare? loke on his pate; This afternoone a friend of mine, for good-will
that shalbe his witnes. gave me warning,
Dr Rat. I wold my head were half so hole, I And bad me wel loke to my ruste, and al my ca
wold seeke no redresse. pons pennes;
Bay, God blesse you, Gammer Gurton. For if I toke not better heede, a knave wold have Gam. God dylde you, master mine.
Bay. Thou hast a knave within thy house, Then I, to save my goods, toke so much pains as
Hodge, a servant of thine. hiin to watch;
They tel me that busie knave is such a filching one, And as good fortune served ine, it was my chance That hen, pig, goose, or capon, thy neighbour bion for to catch.
can have none. What strokes he bare away, or other what was Gam. By God cham much ameved, to heare his gaines,
any such reporte: I wot not, but sure I am he had something for Hodge was not wont, ich trow, to have him in his paines.
that sort. Bay. Yet telles thou not who it was.
Chat. A theevisher knave is not on live, more Chat. Who it was? A false theefe,
filching, nor more false; That came like a false foxe, my pullain 88 Many a truer man than he hase hanged up by and mischeefe.
the halse. Bay. But knowest thou not his name? And thou his dame, of al his theft thou art the Chat. I know it, but what then?
sole receaver; It was that craftie cullyon 87 Hodge, my Gam- For Hodge to catch, and thou to kepe, I never mer Gurton's man.
knew none better. Bay. Cal me the knave hether, he shall sure Gam. Sir, reverence of your masterdome, and kysse the stockes.
you were out a doore, I shall teach him a lesson for filching hens or Chold be so bolde, for all lie brags, to cal hir cocks.
arrant whoore. Dr Rat. I marvaile, master Bayly, so bleared And ich knew Hodge so bad as tow, ich wish me be your eyes!
86 Pullain—Poultry. So, in Fitzherbert's Boke of Husbandry: “ Gyve thy poleyn--meate in the morning, &c.” Again, in Your five Gallants, by Middleton: “And to see how pittifully the pullen will looke, it makes me after relent, and turne my anger into a quick fire to roast them." 87 Culiyon—A base contemptible fellow. So, in Tom Tyller and his Wife, 1661, p. 19 :
“ It is an old saying, praise at the parting.
But I am sure he has as many new.”
“ Long live Severino, And perish all such cullions as repine,
At his new monarchy." And Bobadil, in Ben Jonson's Every Man in his Humour, A. 3. S. 5. when beating Cob; exclaims :
“ You base cullion you." 88 Many a truer man than he hase hanged up by the halse—That is, many an honester man than he, has been hanged up by the neck. True, in the language of the times, signified honest ; and a true man was generally so called in opposition to a thief.--See the First Part of Henry IV. Again, Hodge says, “ Ich defy them al that dare it say; cham as true as the best.” Hals, in the Glossary to Douglas, is thus explained, " The bause, the throat, or neck, al AS and Isl. hals collum, inde to hals or hause to embrace, collo dare brachia circum.”
And chould not take the pains to hang him up Chat. Thou shitten knave, I trow, thou knowbefore to-morrow.
est the ful weight of my fist. Chat. What have I stolen from the or thine, I am fowly deceived, onles thy head and my thou ilfavor'd olde trot?
doore-bar kyste. Gam. A great deale more (by Gods blest) then Hodge. Hold thy chat, whoore; thou criest so chever by the got,
loude, can no man els be hard? That thou knowest wel, I neade not
Chat. Well, knave, and I had the alone, I wold
surely rap thy costard. 90 And tel me here, I pray you, this matter by the Bay. Sir, answer me to this, is thy head whole way:
or broken? How chaunce Hodge is not here? him wold I Chat. Yea, master Bayly, blest be every good faine have had.
token. Gam. Alas, sir, heel be here anon; ha be Hodge. Is my head whole? ich warrant you, handled to bad.
'tis neither scurvy nor scald: Chat. Master Baýly, sir, ye be not such a foole, What, you foule beast, does think 'tis either pild wel I know,
or bald? But ye perceive by this lingring there is a pad in Nay, ich thanke God, chil not for al that thou the straw.
maist spend, [Thinking that Hodge his head was broke, That chad one scab on my narse as brode as thy and that GAMMER wold not let him
finger's end. come before them.
Bay. Come nearer heare. Gam. Chil shew you his face, ich warrant the, Hodge. Yes, that iche dare. -lo now where he is!
Bay. By our lady, here is no harme; Bay. 89 Come on, fellow; it is tolde me thou Hodge's head is hole ynough, for al dame Chat's art a shrew I wysse;
charme. Thy neighbour's hens thou takesty and playes the Chat. By Gog's blest, however the thing he two legged foxe;
clockes or smolders, Their chikens, and their capons to, and now and I know the blowes he bare awaie, either with then their cocks.
head or shoulders. Hodge. Ich defy them al that dare it say; cham Camest thou not, knave, within this houre, crepas true as the best.
ing into my pens, Bay. Wart not thou take within this houre in And there was caught within my hous, groping dame Chat's hen's nest ?
hens? Hodge. Take there ! no master, chould not Hodge. A plage both on thy hens and thee! do't for a house ful of gold.
a carte, whore, a carte. Chat. Thou or the devil in thy cote; sweare Chould I were hanged as hie as a tree, and chware this I dare be bold.
as false as thou art. Dr Rat. Sweare me no swearing, quean, the Geve my Gammer again her washical thou stole devill he geve the sorrow;
in thy lap. Al is not worth a gnat, thou canst sweare till to Gam. Yea, master Bayly, there is a thing you
know not on mayhap: Where is the harme he hath? shew it; by God's This drab she kepes away my good, (the devil he bread,
might her snare,). Ye beat him with a witnes, but the stripes light Ich pray you, that ich might have a right action
on my head. Hodge. Bet me! Gog's blessed body, chold Chat. Have I thy good, old filth, or any such first ich trow have burst the ?
old sowe's? Ich thinke, and chad my hands, loose callet, chould I am as true, I wold thou knew, as skin betwene have crust the.
89 Come on, fellow ; it is tolde me thou art a shrew I wysse—The word shrew at present is wholly corfined to the female sex. It here appears to have been equally applied to the male, and signifies naugal or wicked.See Barret's Alvearie, voce Shrewd. 99 Costard-i. e, the head. So, in Hicke Scorner :"I wyll rappe you on the costard with my hornc.”
Mr Steevens's Note on Love's Labour Lost, A. 3. S. l.
“ Do you mutter ! sir, snorle this way,
Gam. Many a truer hath ben hanged, though I durst aventure wel the price of my best cap, you escape the daunger.
91 That when the end is knowen, all wil turne to Chat. Thou shalt answer (by God's pity) for
a jape. this thy foule slaunder.
Tolde he not you that besides, she stole your Bay. Why, what can ye charge bir withal? to
cocke that tyde? say so ye do not wel!.
Gam. No master, no indeede, for then he shuld Gam. Mary, a vengeance to hir hart, the whore
have lyen; hase stolen my neele.
My cocke is, I thanke Christ, safe and wel a fine. Chat. Thy nedle, old witch ! how so? it were Chat. Yea, but that ragged colt, that whoore, aimes thy soul to knock;
that Tyb of thine, So didst thou say, the other day, that I had stolne Said plainly thy cocke was stolne, and in my house thy cocke.
was eaten. And rosted him to my breakfast, which shal not That lying cut is lost, that she is not swinged and be forgotten :
beaten. The devil put out thy lying tong, and teeth that And yet for al my good name, it were a small be so rotten.
amendes; Gam. Geve me my neele; as for nıy cocke, I picke not this geare (hear'st thou) out of my chould be very loth,
fingers endes. That chuld here tel hé shuld hang on thy false But he that hard it told me, who thou of late
faith and troth. Bay. Your talke is such, I can scarse learne Diccon, whom al men knowes, it was the very
who shuld be most in fault. Gam. Yet shall ye find no other wight, save Bay. This is the case; you lost your nedle she, by bread and salt.
about the dores; Bay. Kepe ye content a while, se that your And she answeres againe, she hase no cocke of tonges ye holde;
yours; Methinkes you shuld remembre, this is no place Thus in your talke and action, from that you
do to scolde.
intend, How knowest thou, Gammer Gurton, dame Chat She is whole five mile wide from that she doth thy nedle had?
defend. Gam. To name you, sir, the party, chould not Will you saie she hath your cocke? he very glad.
Gam. No, mary sir, that chill not. Bay. Yea, but we muste nedes heare it, and Bay. Will you confesse bir neele? therfore
Chat. Will I ? no, sir, will I not.
Gam. Soft master, by the way, Even he that loked on, wil sweare on a booke, Ye know she could do litle, and she cold not say What time this drunken gossip my faire long
này. tooke :
Bay. Yea, but he that made one lie about your Diccon (master) the bedlam, cham very sure ye cocke stealing, know him.
Wil not sticke to make another, what time lies Bay. A false knave, by God's pitie ! ye were
be in dealing. but a foole to trow him.
91 That when the end is knoxen, all wil turne to a jape-Jape is generally used in an obscene sense, as in the Prologue to Grim the Collier of Croyden, Vol. X I. and Skelton's Song in Sir Jobn Hawkin's History of Musick, Vol. III. p. 6. It here signifies a jest or joke. So, in the Prologue to Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, 1. 705;
Upon a day he gat him more moneie,
He made the persone, and the peple, his apes.”
“ Nay jape not hym, he is no smal fole.
I weene, the ende wil prove this brawle did first 1 Then chad ben drest, belike, as ill (by the masse) arise
as gaffer vicar. Upon no other ground, but only Diccon's lyes. Bay. Mary, sir, here is a sport alone; I loked Chat. Though some be lyes, as you belike have
for such an end; espyed them;
If Diccon had not plays the knave, this had ben Yet other some be true, by proofe I have wel
sone amend. tryed them.
My Gammer here he made a foole, and drest hir Bay. What other thing beside this, dame Chat?
as she was; Chat. Mary syr, even this,
And goodwife Chat he set to scold, 92 till both The tale I told before, the selfe same tale it was
partes cried, alas !
And doctor Rat was not behind, whiles Chat his He gave me, like a frende, warning against my
crown did pare; losse,
I wold the knave bad ben starke blind, if Hodge Els had my hens be stolne eche one, by God's
had not his share.
Hodge. Cham meelly wel sped alredy among's, He tolde me Hodge wold come, and in he came
cham drest like a coult; indeede;
And chad not had the better wit, chad been made But as the matter chaunsed, with greater hast
a doult. than speede.
Bay. Sir knave, make hast Diccon were here; This truth was said, and true was found, as truly
fetch him where ever he be. I report.
Chat. Fie on the villain, fie, fie, that makes us Bay. If doctor Rat be not deceaved, it was
thus agree! o'another sort.
Gam. Fie on him, knave, with al my hart, now Dr Rat. By God's mother, thou and he be a
fie, and fie againe ! cople of suttle foxes;
Dr Rat. Now he on him, may I best say, whom Betweene you and Hodge, I beare awaie the boxes.
he hath almost slaine. Did not Diccon appoynt the place, wher thou Bay. Lo where he commeth at hand, belike he shuld'st stand to mete bim?
was not farre. Chat. Yes, by the masse; and if he came, bad Diccon, leare be two or three thy company canme not sticke to speet hym.
not spare. Dr Rat, God's sacrament! the villain knave Dic. God blesse you, and you may be blest so hath drest us round about;
manie al at once. He is the cause of all this brawle, that dyrty Chat. Come knave, it were a good deed to shitten loule;
geld the, by cockes bones. When Gammer Gurton here complained, and Seest not thy handiwarke? sir Rat, can ye formade a ruful mone,
beare him? I heard him sweare that you had gotten hir nedle Dic. A vengeance on those bands life, for my that was gone.
hands cam not pere hym. And this to try he furder said, he was ful loth; The horson priest hath lift the pot in some of how be it,
these alewyves chayres, He was content with small adoe to bring me That his head wold not serve him, belyke, to come where to see it;
downe the stayres. And where he sat, he said ful certain, if I wold Bay. Nay, soft, thou maist not play the knave, folow his reade,
and have this language to;. Into your house a privy waie he wold me guide If thou thy tong bridle a while, the better maist and leade,
thou do. And where ye had it in your hands, sewing about Confesse the truth as I shall aske, and cease a a clowte,
á while to fable, And set me in the backe hole, thereby to finde And for thy fault, I promise the, thy handling you out:
shal be reasonable. And whiles I sought a quietnes, creping upon Hast thou not made a lie or two, to set these
two by the eares? I found the weight of your door-bar, for my re- Dic. What if I have five hundred such have ward and fees.
I seene within these seven yeares : Such is the lucke that some men gets, while they I am sory for nothing else, but that I see not the begin to mel,
sport In setting at one such as were out, minding to which was betwene them when they met, as makc al well.
they themselves report: Hodge. Was not wel blest, Gammer, to' scape Bay. The greatest thing, master Rat, ye se that scoure? and chad ben there,
how he is drest.